sexual taboo?

Question

Ok...there's no real easy way to ask this so i'm going to give some quick background information. I've been with my partner (who's nearly a decade older than me) for almost 3 years now (i'll be 20 in two weeks, YAY!). We waited two years before we had sex and, not gonna lie, it's been great. We've been very safe and i know we are both clean and monogamous. I suppose my question is...is there ever a point where it's ok to NOT be safe? especially with a clean, monogamous partner....? I was just curious if anyone knew or could give some helpful advice...

ps. I'm gay...so i KNOW i won't get pregnant

Answer 1

never 100 %- people can cheat, but, if you trust your partner completely then, im sure its fine-

Answer 2

That is a very difficult question to answer. The most obvious answer is there is never a point when it's okay to partake in unsafe sex.
Unfortunately, it's a problem that is difficult to solve because quite often when one partner wants to continue being safe, it might come across to the other as a red flag that there is some cheating going on.
I know far too many long term monogamous relationships that have been devastated by one partner slipping up. (Too much to drink at an out-of-town convention!!!etc) HIV has no obvious symptoms, therefore, once contracted, it can be passed on easily to his innocent partner.
Bill Clinton said it best at a recent Aids Prevention Convention in Toronto. He said that the most prevalent cause for the spread of HIV and AIDS was by persons who did not know they they were HIV positive.
I regret to say, that human beings are just that - human. Unplanned indiscretions can and do happen. Take care.

Answer 3

Yes there is a time, and it's the second to last line you wrote my friend. The clean part you can have a doctor confirm. The monogamous part is where you just have to let your heart and your trust take over and lead you head first into love. Some say the only way to be safe is to wait till marriage (or maybe in this case commitment) but marriage doesn't guarantee monogamy, only trust and love do. So if you feel you have both while at the same time neither of you have "anything" then there is no better time to give yourselves to each other completely my friend.
Happy Humping!

Answer 4

I would say that of course there comes a point when it is ok to not be safe. I think that the time comes when you get married, as long as you have both been tested, are monogamous and don't use drugs. Of course you can't actually have a marriage recognized by the government but that's no reason to not take things as far as you can. Many churches will perform union ceremonies and you can always exchange vows and rings without even church blessing if you can't find a minister to bless your relationship. The important thing is to make a public vow of your intention to remain faithful to each other and keep a physical reminder on you at all times. If you are not both prepared to commit to this, you really aren't ready to go bare.

Answer 5

There is a reason there is a taboo with anal sex. The anus is not a sexual organ. Any blood born pathogen is easily spread by anal sex. The lining of the rectum is very vascular meaning the slightest tear or scrap opens you up for infection. Also the anus is a positive pressure environment meaning when you are inserting your penis there you are pushing against the pressure of the environment and mucus and fecal matter is forced into the meatus so a top is not immune to STD's or infections either. There is no more sure way of spreading disease and increasing your risks of infection than unprotected anal sex. You need to have a condom on every time and with a 3% failure rate you might want to double bag that thang. Any one wondering why I am g0y?

Exposure to HIC Category
Male
Female
Total (CDC figures)

Male-to-male sexual contact
Male 420,790
Female -
Total 420,790

Injection Drug Use
Male 172,351
Female 67,917
Total 240,268

Male-to-male sexual contact and injection drug use
Male 59,719
Female -
Total 59,719

Heterosexual contact
Male 50,793
Female 84,835
Total 135,628

Other
Male 14,350
Female 6,519
Total 20,869

These numbers are from the CDC not an organization known for pussyfooting around health issues.
Since you are anywhere from 700 to 1000% more likely to get an STD from anal sex than any other form of penetrative sex including oral the implications are quite clear as to the cause of the male-to-male sexual contact most likely to create these numbers.

Not trying to point fingers just trying to educate. Use a condom if you are going to do this.

Randy Wolff

Answer 6

Unprotected sex never stops being dangerous. It's just as dangerous as the first time you were with that person, you just get a slightly better perspective on the risks.
Keep in mind that you will never know 100% for sure what your partner's STD status unless you keep them in a cage.
There are non STD risks invovled in anal sex.
Judging by my fairly lame perspective on life when I was 20 you're not very qualified to make that call at your age.

Answer 7

In theory...6 months. In practice, I'd rather either continue to practice safer sex, or else make a deal with my partner that I'm going to be a helluvalot MORE pissed off about cheating if they're also putting me in danger, so....if they did they'd tell me right away. No one likes to think that that's happening, but I think it's realistic to think that it COULD happen at some point.

Answer 8

It' not just the standard STDs that may be caught during unsafe sex (or pregnancy for that matter, LOL!) there are any number of infections that can be caught: Thrush, Non-Specific Urethritis, etc. The anus is not a clean place and doucheing is not going to make it that much more sanitary...

...stick with the condoms.

Answer 9

Let's say both of you are 100% clean and there's a 0% chance that either of you will ever become "unclean," then sure. There's nothing with not using protection if there's nothing to be protected from.

Answer 10

There is bacteria in body cavities that are not made for sexual penitration that can and often do cause prostititis which is hard to get rid of and very uncomfortable. Also there is a nerve in the jaw that often deteriorates and causes facial deformaty if the mouth is wide open a lot. Then there is the what do we know for sure about our partner. up to you.

Answer 11

I highly recommend getting a hepatitus A and B vaccination for the both of you. Other than that, it is perfectly fine to be unprotected, but be careful of a urinary tract infection. Go pee as soon as possible when you are done inside. It doesn't have to be seconds after, but try not to just go to sleep without peeing.