I've been married for 8 years and 2 children. What attracted to my husband was his humble and simple ways. I'm more successful in my career as compared to him. It has been this way since the begining.
Anyway for the past 3 years, he has changed to a terrible person; where he is very jealous of my success, being very calculative in everything including financial matters. I get the impression that he is threaten by me. He also doesnt participate in any of my family matters and choose to avoid such meetings. We hardly communicate openly and even if we do it will result in a quarrel or argument. The only thing that is keeping us together is the children.
I've also lost interest in him and dont really miss him anymore.
What shall I do?
2006-09-11 20:36:49 · 14 answers · asked by Gloomy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
counseling i guess
2006-09-11 20:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sadly sometimes we just grow apart and things can't seem to get back like it was in the beginning.It does sound like he is threatened by your career success,some men still want to be the bread winner,but this isn't the 50's.I have always been a firm believer that a couple should never stay together just for the kids.They don't need to see the two of you unhappy and fighting all the time.Life is to short to be miserable.
2006-09-12 04:18:35 · answer #2 · answered by jean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly i think your marriage is over. If you have lost interest in him and you don't care anymore the children know it. People stay together for thier children but are miserable and it makes thier children miserable. They say broken homes are difficult for children but when thier parents don't love or show that they love each other it is just as damaging if not more. It sounds like your husband is ready to get out of the marriage too. Its better to walk away from a bad situation then fight through it just so it can become worse.
2006-09-12 03:41:47 · answer #3 · answered by souless one 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I Me, do you hear yourself. He's probably turned off by the ego you grew over the years? You're suppose to be partners, are you dictating the relationship? Do you really listen to him?
Seems like the rolls may be reversed here, he's taken the emotional lock down road and unless you both sit down to talk and actually be adults you will never really know if he is truly "threatened by you"
As for you losing interest, that's a different story. I believe that the core reason that a couple came together never really dies. What brought you together? If you can figure that out and really become partners you can probably save your marriage. If you think you're better than he is and want to see for yourself what's out there then talk to him about it. Sooner is usually better than later. Kids feel tension between parents, even when no words are spoken.
take care
2006-09-12 03:41:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most of men feel degraded when their wives earned much higher than their own. So the problem starts there... They will always check for their wive's activities, their salaries and these will of course result to the wive's impression of being threated by their husband's actions...
The best way is to understand them...
2006-09-12 04:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by bembie719 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is common, sadly. The same things that bring people together, later tend to drive them apart.
He used to like your independence. Now he fears it. You used to like his simplicity. Now he bores you.
So you can hold the marriage together, for the children, while the two of you are miserable or seek outside affairs.
Or, you can talk out an amicable divorce, with joint custody and liberal visitation arrangements, and start over.
2006-09-12 03:44:53 · answer #6 · answered by DinDjinn 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest counseling. If he refused, I'd ask him what he wanted.Sometimes it's better to cut your losses and get on with your life. There is no sense in both of you being miserable.It doesn't help the children to be around it either.
2006-09-12 03:55:51 · answer #7 · answered by Dogness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is willing to try to work on your marriage, then maybe try counseling. That may not work for him, but at least by the end of it, you will have a better idea what you want to do with your marriage.
2006-09-12 11:50:08 · answer #8 · answered by mommy_03_06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry me i would let you be the successful one and gladly help you spend the money you earn
2006-09-12 07:30:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man your husband has issues counseling
2006-09-12 03:47:17 · answer #10 · answered by lol_des 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we are in the same boat. i have nothing to do with mine either..we need to just pack up our **** and leave their asses. there's more out there somewhere!! good luck to you. i hope you can find happiness again.
2006-09-12 03:40:24 · answer #11 · answered by power of 3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋