I've never gone totally over board with this. But to really care that when he's tired or not feeling well, to make his meals or help him relax or bring him something to eat; is this wrong to do? I'm an older woman, and I've been around as far as life goes. I don't question everything that he may do, and I give him his own space. He knows I would never cheat on him and I don't do the smothering thing. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, because men just never seem to like this. I don't mother him; I guess I just care. Is there something wrong with me? I've never been the kind of woman who dates one man after another, I'm not promiscous; just in need of a good honest answer.
2006-09-11 20:14:55 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Nothing wrong with it at all: we all like being spoiled from time to time, as log as you don't go overboard.
If there's a problem, it's probably because you go further with it than he feels comfortable. You may feel like you aren't going overboard, but that's no guarantee that he doesn't feel so.
If you're super-nice to the man you're dating, he'll feel like he's obligated to be super-nice to you - to the point where it takes real effort on his part. He may feel like being served breakfast in bed isn't worth the special things he'd feel obligated to do for you in return. If you do lots of nice little things for him, he can either do nothing in return - in which case he feels like a freeloader - or he can try to keep up by doing nice things in return. If he feels pressured to do far more than he'd be naturally inclined to do, it can be very mentally and emotionally exhausting for him.
You know how the fastest way to get rid of a guy is to throw yourself all over him, declare your undying love, and say you want to marry him? The same principle is at work here, just in a less extreme form.
It's still good to spoil him, don't let me dissuade you from doing that. Just try to be aware of how much niceness he's prepared to handle!
2006-09-11 20:30:05 · answer #1 · answered by Bramblyspam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you sound perfect. You have a good balance of being there for him but giving him his reins when he needs them.
I think he should be very thankful to have someone so understanding, i know that my guy probably wouldn't be as lucky so he should be fortunate.
I guess the only thing would be if he feels 'too' comfortbale, that the relationship isn't going anywhere (killer in the younger couples)
But na, keep it up chickie!
2006-09-12 03:22:06 · answer #2 · answered by EcXeSSive ConSUmptiON 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a rare species. The tender, loving and humane person who gives before she takes and never asks for much except kindness and understanding. Now where would anybody in this cruel and materialistic world find such characteristics? If he does then she's "oh, the old-fashioned type !!!" Believe you me that your bf is the luckiest person and he ought to thank his lucky stars for having you. Bless you.
2006-09-12 03:30:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with caring for other person, but it might occur to him that u r to clingy and coz of that he can feel suffocated, try to take care of ur self dont b so focused on him, I am sure that u have needs of ur own ,ask him to do things for u , maybe he likes to b needed.
2006-09-12 03:25:31 · answer #4 · answered by leed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the way it sounds you really do love the guy,there is absolutely nothing wrong with being good to your man as a matter of fact he should appreciate all your efforts.
2006-09-12 03:23:59 · answer #5 · answered by pope 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
treat him the way you would like to be treated.. if he doesnt like you doing things for him , and you enjoy caring for your Lover in that way then he isnt the one for you.
I am that way too.. I like to take care of my man, not overly , but cook for him and do errands for him.. help him when he needs it.. this makes me feel good and I like it, so to be with someone that hated to be nurtured or cared for would be hard for me
2006-09-12 03:20:43 · answer #6 · answered by minx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good to the man youre dating its ok but not too really.if you too really good for him,he will think"' she love's me so much,even i make a litle bit mistake she will forgive me'' thats he will think in his mind.so really good when you're both just friend its not soo good.but if you reall good when you marrie its good,ok?succes for you
2006-09-12 03:21:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋