I am in a 12 step group and have formed a close friendship with another lady there. She has less clean time than me but is still a wonderful woman in recovery.
Lately she's been saying she wants to use and I talk her out of it, or so I think.
She's saving $ and hiding it from her hubby in case she decides to get a bag.
When I heard that I told her I can't talk to her anymore. I'm trying to get my life straight!
Was I wrong not to continue talking her out of it? I'm feeling pretty guilty for telling her to "Go ahead and relapse! You want it so bad, then stop talking about it and go do it."
I'd appreciate any sincere answers here, but if you're a member I'd sure appreciate your thoughts.
I love this lady and don't want to turn my back on her and I'm feeling SO bad for doing exactly that!
I won't relapse if she does so why shouldn't I support her?
2006-09-11 19:13:28 · 4 answers · asked by me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm in recovery and it's hard when others around us may slip but you are only responsible for yourself. It sounds to be your friend wants to relapse. 1st she is hiding money from her husband...she is lying...when we are trying to do the next right thing we can't revert back to addict behavior. 2nd its like premediated murder...she is wanting to get high. I don't want to get high no more...the key to accepting your powerlessness is admitting you have had enough. I suggest the next time she approaches you about her wanting to use, tell her in a concerning way that you think she needs to talk to her sponsor or get a sponsor. Also let her know that you are there to support her but she has to want recovery and as long as she is negative and not trying to do the right thing, it's best you only decise getting better not using.
2006-09-13 12:40:46 · answer #1 · answered by MS BOSSY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some people just talk about relapsing, because (depending on the circumstances) it is all they have in their lives...
has she relapsed???
also, some people just love the attention they get from others about this... someone saying "no, don't, i'm here for you"... and yet others who want people who get close, to block them out and make them angry and then they feel like the world is against them...
it is very complicated... i've dealt with a potential suicide in a similar way...
try to be supportive, as much as you can...
2006-09-12 02:19:10 · answer #2 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does this lady have a Sponsor? You definitely need to be aware of your own Sobriety first. All of us in recovery get tired of listening to other people whine sometimes. That's why we go to meetings, so one person doesn't have to handle the load alone. Talk to your Sponsor.....you're doing your best! God Bless, and take care!
2006-09-12 02:27:40 · answer #3 · answered by Cheryl A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Selfishness can be good for you in small doses, look after and help yourself before you try and save others, and as good as this lady may be, some people can not be saved...Good luck
2006-09-12 05:35:44 · answer #4 · answered by SketchyDrafty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋