What to do when ex is turning off the phone so I can't contact my children?

Question

My ex is really being unbearable. He has always pushed the limits where our children are concerned it seems like he hates me because our children love me too. I recently this year finally got remarried to the second guy I ever dated and we have been together for five years and when it was right we got married we also have a three year old together but I didn't think getting pregnant was enough for us to get married at the time. I hate divorce and I wanted to make sure and I'm very lucky to have found someone that loves me for me. My ex got married a year after we were divorced and it lasted less than a year. I felt sorry for him because we kind of grew up together and I do wish the best for him. Really I do. We were getting along fine I mean it was a dream come true. Two adults putting their children first. Now when the kids are with him they aren't allowed to call me or talk to me. My daughter's B-Day is tomorrow and he won't let me talk to her. We are now going back to court.

Answer 1

I would try to ask him why he is pulling this bullsh*t on you. If he doesn't answer your question or doesn't give you a decent answer, then I'd talk to my lawyer about this and take this issue to court. When you were in court to determine custody arrangements , I would assume that nothing in the agreement stated that your ex either could or couldn't allow your kids to talk to you on the phone. Good luck on settling this issue, but there's another way to solve this besides taking it to court. You could call for a mediation session where the lawyers from both parties can help their clients get through the issue somehow.

Plus, I think your ex needs to get over himself. You can still wish him the best, but that doesn't mean that you need to feel sorry for him. Personally I wouldn't feel sorry for him if the pulled that stunt of his with me. He's also trying to get you to also put the kids in the middle, which is what he seems to be doing. You're putting your children first and that is commendable! Just don't stoop to his level EVER, be the better person that you're being so far.

Answer 2

Sounds like he still has alot of growing up to do and it also sounds like he hasn't dealt with the left over feelings from the divorce. Unfortunately, he's trying to punish you but he's using the kids to do it and that is sooooo wrong, because he's hurting them too.

I've been in your shoes twice, and my advice to you is to keep your cool and not say a word about it to him. It's a game to him and if you try to talk some sense into him you'll be acknowledging that it bothers you, and that's the whole point of the game. DON'T give him that satisfaction, Be nice to him and speak well of him to the children and don't play his game on your end, that would also acknowledge he's hit a nerve. My four children are grown now, and one thing I've learned is that they see EVERYTHING. And as they grow up they have a real clear picture of what's going on between you two, and who's the instigator and who's the peacekeeper. It's very hard right now, i know. Be strong for your kids. You can have a special day set aside for your daughters birthday when she gets back. It really doesn't matter what day its on, she'll know you cared enough to do something special and she'll have two parties!

Answer 3

Be sure and document EVERYTHING, dates, times, etc. as the Judge will be more open to you if you can show just cause.
Put everything in writing in the future, and do not allow you EX to push your buttons--emotionally.
Make a list of items you wish to have addressed in Court, as it is easy to get frazzled and forget stuff you wish you had covered.
Consider purchasing a pre-paid cell phone for your kids to have if he disconnects the phone. No judge will have a problem with this. He can't be made to have a home phone, but he can't refuse you access to the children if it's your cell phone they are using, and of no cost to him.
Best wishes to you!!
This too shall pass!!

Answer 4

Are you me? I am going through almost the exact same thing with my ex-husband. We are a little further along in the process so I'll tell you whats come of our situation so far. 1st, if you can call from a cell phone which you can get an itimized (showing all calls) statement for, do it. Make sure you record (written of tape) every call you make with date, time, and message left. LEAVE MESSAGES!!! If he has a answering machine rather then voicemail, she will hear the calls and know.... Most imporantly, keep trying.

Answer 5

You're going to court. Be patient. Your ex, regardless of the fact that you grew up together sounds like a manipulative idiot. It's unfortunate that you and your children were put in the position you're in because of him. I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 6

You and your ex sound like you're still in love with each other and are unknowingly using your children to keep the flame alive. Maybe you should let it be for the moment. It's easier on the kids.

Answer 7

What about a cell phone for your oldest if she is old enough to handle the responsibility. Otherwise good luck in court.

Answer 8

You can't tell him what to do. He is probably very resentful of your good relationship with the children. You need to get your remedy through your lawyer in court.

Answer 9

If you two can't settle it like adults, then settle it in court. I can tell you its not doing your children any good to see their parents haggling like a couple of school children. I don't care what you say, it takes two to tango.

Answer 10

Good, court is your only recourse! Call him and ask to talk to her, it is not a crime to record "your" conversation! And he does not have to give permission! At least, not in my state! And you are not law enforcement!

Keep a record of all contacts that you have made as it will be your word against his! He can't dispute a record!