help me figure this out. So here is the deal I started a job a couple of years ago, and has see a good looking co-worker and thought that until this day. We worked together for about 8 months before I found out he was married....we flirted back and forth like crazy in that time span.I checked the ring finger when everything initiated....nothing there.So I was more than shocked when not only did I learn he had a wife but he also had 3 kids.The problem is that we sealed the deal by sleeping together @ a xmas function. Have have continued on since.We are not sleeping together ever chance we get I should point out, but when we work together(we go through a rotation) the sexual tension is thick.I am not even sure what I am asking here, but I need some type of feedback, I obviously have not told anyone for fear of what they would think..which is not good.I do ask everytime that he is sure he wants to do this.I guess it's so I know, I am not pressuring him to do it. Tell me what you think!
2006-09-11 18:23:22 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So I should say that I am not asking him to leave his wife in any way shape or form. I am content with the set up, I don't have intentions of being married, and am very independant, I travel when given the opportunity, and I answer to no one, and like it that way. For all those who think I am a homewrecker, that's fine. as well as with the Karma, this is the full circle. I have had it happen to me.
I like the way things are and have no problems with him going home to his wife.
Do I think he uses me....not really, and if he does I use him for the exact same purposes....sexual fulfillment, it's one person not an army and I am being safe about it. It's not an ideal situation but none the less, it's happening.
Thanks for the comments so far, even the constructive stuff.
2006-09-11 19:31:19 · update #1
He is getting something from you that he is not getting from home. What are his intentions??? Have you discussed? Do you have feelings for each other? Is this just SEX??? What do you want from him? Think about his wife and what he is like at home with her. Do you discuss a future together? No you are not pressuring him, he is mind f*cking you to get what he wants. What if you just said no, like me, then what,,,,,how would he treat you then???? As if Eve could have said no!!!!! Temptation......SUCKS HUH!!!!!! Good luck, and one day hopefully soon you will feel good about the decission you make about your situation.
2006-09-11 19:21:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I say that I have to agree with most people on here that have answered you so far!Do you have such low self esteem or low opinion of yourself that a married guy that will nere turn into anything else is all you can be with? And even if the dumb jerk ever did leave his wife and kids, how would that make you feel know that you wrecked a fammily and hurt that woman and his kids? how you you feel if you were his wife and he was doing the same thing to you as you are doing to her? What makes you thijnk that even if you two ever had a future together that he wouldn't turn around and do the same thing while married to you? He has already proved over and over just what a low life dog he is!!! It is nothing but a future of trouble but if you like that kind of thing, then I wish you luck and glad that i will more than likely never hook up with you.I would ever hook up with anyone that was able to do something like that because it just isn't right at all and you know it and now will have to live with it the rest of your life!!!
2006-09-12 01:50:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the "affection" of someone just finds it's way to you. Only fate knows the bigger picture......could be something that is destine to be wonderful, or the worst thing to happen to you in your life.....either way it will make you a stronger person. It's not the best thing in the eyes of the world to be with another womans's husband, but regardless it has happened, ride it out, if you're okay with the way things are and so is he.
You might want to think about this though.....you do not want the prospect of marriage but does he?? Maybe not now but later?? Then what will you do? Obviously he may not want it, but you did end up together. Something to think about. Most answerers said he would not leave but what if he does? You may want out for that reason alone.
2006-09-14 15:49:57 · answer #3 · answered by Niagara Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know that what you're doing is wrong. You are contributing to the potential destruction of not only a marriage but also a family. I know that you can TRY to justify what you're doing by saying that HE is the one who is betraying his spouse and breaking his vows... and you're right... but you know that having sex with someone that you now KNOW is married with kids is downright wrong! There is no justifying it.
If I were you I would stop this relationship right away. He might cheat and choose to destroy his relationship but at least your conscience will be free and clear because it won't be with you.
Remember the whole Golden Rule. Would you want to be the wifey sitting at home raising the three kids when your man was at work messing around with some chick who knew he was married and didn't care?? Even really good sex isn't worth the karma that is coming your way if you don't stop this now. What goes around often comes around.
2006-09-12 01:31:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Women like u r a dime a dozen. What will u do if she finds out & comes after u? Have u given that any thought. The final pay back 4 u would b 2 marry him. Then some little whore=dog can start an affair w/him just like u did. Once u found out he was married w/3 children YOU SHOULD'VE BACKED THE HELL OFF, OR CAN'T U FIND YOUR OWN MAN? dO U REALLY THINK HE WOULD EVER B TRUE 2 U. ha ha ha ha,NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
2006-09-12 01:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by virgo1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course he wants to do it, he has you on the side at his convenience...for your own self-esteem, don't let the sexual tension pull you back into the whirlwind of a dead end relationship.
Think this through, if he has a wife, doesn't wear a wedding ring and has 3 children, and has extra marital relationships, is he somebody who has good ethics and is considerate of the ones he cares about. Which means, if you don't give him what he wants, there will be someone else, and it will continue....how do you know when the rotation is in another shift where you aren't working with him he isn't doing the same thing with someone else.
One piece of advice, don't share this relationship with anyone, they will act as if they are your friend but will spin on you in a second. I always think of Barry Bond's and his long term relationship outside of his marriage, once his GF didn't go along with what he wanted, she sang like a bird, didn't protect him and spoke of things he confided in her - his so called friends that he confided in sold him out as well.
Get into a relationship that can give you a relationship that you are important as a long term - full-time relationship, don't sell yourself short. Men will say what you want to hear as long as you give them what they want. Sex. Don't give him another second of who you are, you deserve so much more.
Good luck!
2006-09-12 01:33:24 · answer #6 · answered by Baseball inquisitive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men wear wedding rings...you should have ASKED him verbally if he was married/attached etc. Looking at his ring finger only says you're gullible. And he has taken advantage of that. You didn't say if he was planning on leaving his wife, which I definitely doubt he ever will do. You're his "plaything". He is using you and you are allowing him to do so and that is all this will ever amount to. Do you want to be right where you are 20 years from now? Alone all the time except for the times he decides to spend time with you? That is IF he sticks with you for 20 years. No one can use you as a door mat unless YOU lie down and let them walk all over you, you've done more than that you're allowing them to scrape the shitty shoes on you.
2006-09-12 01:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Number one...your a big girl and you know that what your doing is just WRONG...not only is it wrong on his end but for you to know now that he is married and with 3 kids...come on...think of one day you might be in her shoes and then what?...could you live like that knowing you did this to someones husband and father?...and now it's happening to you...KARMA...think on that....what you do will some day come and haunt you...stop this please...Number two: your worth more then a good time...you know that's how he might be seeing you going home to the wife and kids huh...just think about it...getting into someones home and breaking up a family is not something you want on your conscious....it could always happen to you. Number three: Be strong and walk away. Take care.
2006-09-12 01:45:23 · answer #8 · answered by dod civi 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok so you dont know what question you are asking but you want feed back well ok here it is,it sounds to me that you are trying to justify sleeping with a married man and if its like that you dont even have to ask him is he sure this is what he wants to do because you already know the answer if you are going to give it to him h ell yeah hes going to take it hes a man isnt he so you are making it easy for him you are just being used he isnt going to leave his family and hes grimy for not being up front with you and you are grimy for keeping it up even after you found out he had a FAMILY so it wasnt a good idea to come to yahoo answers because you should be prepared to be talked real ugly to but theres no reason for you to be trying to justify making sex faces with another womans Husband I just hope you drop his A S S and learn from this and hope that KARMA doesnt come back to you when you do find a single man you can call your own.
2006-09-12 01:41:36 · answer #9 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's got three children and a wife. After you found out, you continued to sleep with him. Both of you are beyond selfish. Stop sleeping with him now. You are ruining a whole entire family. Get yourself some self respect and some sense of humanity. Why even bother asking him if he's ok with having sex with you?? He's just using you like the piece of trash you are. Disgusting.
2006-09-12 01:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by Purple 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋