2006-09-11 18:11:55 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you know that's a difficult situation but your spouse chose you for a reason just do your job in the marriage and leave the rest alone they might decide to come around and if they don't let them know if they hate you fine but you will not put up with rude offensive behavior stand up for your self and let them know that you plan on being around a while so they better get used to it.
2006-09-11 18:27:59 · answer #1 · answered by Eisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you!! I never thought my father and mother-in-law liked me, I'm pretty sure they still think i'm an odd duck, but I have learned how to handle them. As one poster said "patience and love", but mostly patience.
Now, this is about to get long winded, cause to understand the situation I unfortunately have to give the Readers Digest version of things!! So sorry in advance... lol
But as for my brother-in-law and his wife...OH MY GOD!!!! They really do hate me i think. Everything I say is wrong and uneducated, every show I let my daughter watch teaches her bad values, if i'm not raising my daughter the way they raise their kids, i'm doing it wrong. If I stand up for myself or my husband when they get out of line, i'm labeled as "too outspoken and not a family kind of girl". If we buy things on credit cards and don't completely pay the balance, then we are also financially irresponsible and need to take money management classes.
When me and my husband met I was in college. Our money was tight while I went to school and planned a wedding at the same time but my husband supported me completely. A day did not go by that my B-I-L's wife didn't straight out tell me that I was being selfish by not dropping out of school and "tending to my home and family like a good wife should". I reminded her that not only was I going to school, but I also had a part time job and WAS tending to the house and my 4 yr old daughter and husband. And now even though I have a very nicely paying job in a field I love, whenever the topic comes up she says "How is that working out? When are you going to stay home and raise her the right way?".
The funny thing is, my B-I-L and her have been married twice! The first time she left him along with their two kids cause he tried to KILL her with their minivan. Well apparently when me and my hubby got engaged, she missed the family atmosphere I guess, and POOF! They were getting remarried. But wait! In the meantime while they weren't together she got pregnant by some other guy who was a one night stand. Well a couple months after they got remarried, she had a self-induced miscarraige. She was 6 months pregnant, said it would INTERFERE with their relationship and that it would be better to not have the baby at all.
AAARRGGGGGG!!!!!!
But they have the "perfect" family, the "perfect" life, and now the "perfect" pregnancy... they are having another bundle of perfection...lol God help us all!
Why are people like that????Where is their sense of reality?!?!?
Those kinds of people can not be dealt with unfortunately. I have learned that the best way to deal with them? Stay silent and limit your contact with them. Don't be cold or viscious, just be polite and do not give them any fodder to run with.
Have your honey back you up!!! They need to realize that by alienating/ hurting you, they are also alienating/ hurting him! And you two need to nip it in the butt before this becomes "just the way things are". You will be miserable:((
GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-09-11 19:07:02 · answer #2 · answered by flanagan1981 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you hate your in laws after 20 years
2006-09-11 18:26:50 · answer #3 · answered by guharamdas 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh. I'm going thru that,and you know what? There isn't much you can do. Fighting them doesn't help,trying to make peace is pointless...due to the fact they probably hate you simply bc you're with the person. I just ignore it,for the most part. Your significant other should support you and maybe his input would help them understand you're there to stay. Good luck!
2006-09-11 18:22:19 · answer #4 · answered by *Juicy Princess* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what your going through my husband's parents don't like me at all and that is fine with me I married him not them as long he loves me that's all that matters to me they would always try to get us into it and always told my parents we needed to divorce well it got so bad we started arguing alot so my husband got fed up with it all and told them since they were causing trouble it would be best for us all to stay away from eachother since then we have been just fine when you get married you marry the person not their family and you forsake all others don't let anyone screw with your marriage I've been through that and it will start arguments quicker then anything it isn't worth it!!! stay away from them if you have to I feel your pain!
2006-09-11 19:12:58 · answer #5 · answered by blondeqtwitanicebooty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay clear of them as much as possible, only holidays and birthdays..... but do try to find ways to get them to like you, even if its one step at a time, they'll come around, do nice things for them even if it kills you.....
2006-09-11 18:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by california chick.... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two words. Patience and Love. (Mostly patience)
2006-09-11 18:16:00 · answer #7 · answered by Russ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just smile with them, and dont argue with them...
2006-09-11 18:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by Louielyn E 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kick their ***
2006-09-11 18:14:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋