I've fallen in love with my best friend! I've known James since I was 13 & he was 15, I'm 19 now.
About a year back my father kicked me out, because his girlfriend of 3 years (my mother died 4 years ago) wanted me out! And James, who (jokingly) claims himself to be my guardian angel, allowed me to move in with him.
Every time I look at him I feel sad, because I know that we'll never be more than friends (because I highly doubt anyone especially James will ever love me).
My father's girlfriend says if I lose James as my friend she'll let me can move back in, but that would be worse because then I would not get to see James again, & if I ever decide to "come out" (probably won't) I would again be kicked out. As she's a bit homophobic, the reason why James (who is gay) & I can't be friends & me live there.
I hate being in love with someone whom I see all the time, one day he probably get a boyfriend and I will be really depressed, even thinking about it depresses me a lot....
2006-09-11 18:07:16 · 25 answers · asked by ethan1987orourke 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am not gay, but I am human, with a lot of experience with different situations.
I say, go with truth and honesty. Tell James how you feel, with sensitivity for him and his feelings.
Tell dad's girlfriend to go jump.
Tell dad, as best as he can handle it, why the situation is as it is.
tell yourself that you are doing the damn best that you can, and that you have been honest with everyone in your dealings.
Eventually, ultimately, you'll feel better.
2006-09-11 18:13:43 · answer #1 · answered by finnkrypton 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, I had the same probably except it was a tad bit different. My sons father and I ended up breaking up a week before I found out I was pregnant and anyways I believed that we'd never get back together. Anyways, now we're living together and engaged, so just has faith. If you're father's girlfriend wont accept you then you don't need to be at home anyways. You're 19 now, hey you'll be okay. Babe, just don't get depressed about it. Slowly find a way to tell James how you feel. And if he doesn't feel the same way just kinda act like you were joking and try to move on. I wish you the best of luck although I believe that most likely you and him will end up together. :-) Good luck sweetie. If u like email me at jlds06@yahoo
2006-09-12 02:02:45 · answer #2 · answered by Mz Bree 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry your so depressed. if u love him, u can tell him or u can sit back and watch him love someone else. shure he's gay. the worst that could happen is just wants to be friends and thats it. but he'll never now how u feel unless u tell him. I know its hard to show your feelings. but some times u have to take a risk. and if he would rather be with someone else than good for him. but don't let that get u down k. he will still be there for u. or he not a true friend. don't let one man get u down. there plenty of others out there just waiting on a person like u. so lift that chin up. and take it one step at a time. k. know if he does fill the same way, then go get him tiger.
2006-09-12 03:19:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're gay and he's gay, tell him how you feel! Seeking treatment about depression would probably be a good idea too. You've got a possibly great opportunity right there before you and all you're seeing is the negative. Seeing a therapist might be a good idea. If not to treat depression, to work on being a little bit more optimistic. He's taken you under his wing when your family turned against you. Maybe he wants a little more than guardian angel too.
2006-09-12 03:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see no obvious reason you and james not being together as more than friends!? he is gay, you are gay, than what is the real problem? I don't think there is one! really!
get out of this depression... don't do this to yourself!
Short solution: Kiss him passionately and see the reaction, if no satisfactory reaction do it again! (he won't kick you out for being in love with him... you will leave alone if you have to put up with him not loving you, but you will have enoguh time to reconsider your feelings!)
Long solution: go to the movie rent with james and take Queer As Folk (the UK version), see it! There are two gay friends just like you and james, and the one is in love with the other but don't know how to tell him... Suggest james something like this might be with you...
Good luck! Don't compromise with your feelings! Love is not love if alters when the alteration comes... (Shakespear)
2006-09-12 09:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by Randy Beaman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ethan1987orourke,
Okay, first off, I hate your dad and his girlfriend. They both suck royal provided that you did not do anything that was odd to undermine the household. If not, then my hatred for your dad, who is disloyal to you, and your dads girlfriend, who seems to be queeen of the house now that she's gotten rid of the competition, i.e. you, for attention; still stands. Please tell me that I am wrong. It would make me feel much better knowing that you were just being young and they weren't dissing you like last weeks newspaper.
Next, you have come to the right place for a shoulder to cybernetically cry on. I have helped and I am helping some that have come here. I'm sure that there are others that would help you that are here. Whoever makes the most sense to you that is accessible, ask them for some correspondance until you can become more confident. There are some here that made some sense, try one of them.
You are NOT alone, okay?
2006-09-12 03:15:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depressed: ok so you knowen JAMES for a couple yrs. was his G/ F. with him @ this time that he took you in? What did james &, you do to become good friends.. ok now how well do you know this new women in james life, have you seen her cook him a meal how well does she keep his house cleand there is something that somebody can do better then the other new person... Get a hold of james alone tell him what you think & can do to prove that you can do better, maybe he'll drop her & no guys will come in between you 2 either.... GOOD LUCK...
2006-09-12 01:29:40 · answer #7 · answered by mike_m50501 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you will never be happy until your honest with yourself and others around you, i think you need to let James know how you feel, because, who knows? maybe he feels the same about u, but is just as afraid to tell you as you are to tell him. And besides, if james is a true friend, then even if he doesnt have the same feelings for you, then he will still be your friend. And in the case that he doesnt feel the same, i promise you, one day you will find that special someone, let fate takes its course. And as far as your dad goes, he wasnt right to kick you out just because his girlfriend told him to, and as far as your dad's girlfriend goes, dont let her bug you, i mean, why would you want to live in a place with such discriminating people like that? Things will work out, cheer up and good luck!
2006-09-12 01:23:09 · answer #8 · answered by munkypoo1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you came out to James? You really don't know how he feels about you. Sounds like he may like you alot if he's thinking of himself as your guardian angel. Your too closeted and that's making you depressed. Come out to James.
2006-09-12 03:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hon, I know what you must be going through, you must feel like crawling up & slowly dying but since that won't solve anything, try talking to your friend & see what happens instead of bottling everything up.
Unfortunately, you're already depressed by the sound of things. Talking to him will lift off some of those heavy burdens of feelings. May everything work out for you*
2006-09-12 02:42:35 · answer #10 · answered by Luvy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋