Making assumptions/jumping to conclusions about somebody's actions, intents, etc. is the worst. By doing this people put others on the defensive for absolutely no reason - it's extremely inconsiderate. You know assume and make an *** out of you and me.
Any good comebacks or effective ways to handle these people so that they get the message and change their ways?
2006-09-11 17:45:12 · 8 answers · asked by bem90048 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Not sure if their is any gender slant on this or not, but I have noticed this trait much more in women. Especially high-strung, extroverted women who tend to speak before they think.
2006-09-11 17:49:04 · update #1
It is annoying. But it's very difficult to change the way other people think. What's worked at times, is just looking at them, shrugging, and saying, "Well, I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion."
The usual comeback is "Whadda ya mean?"
That's when you can put forth your point of view. It seems to defuse things a little. Or sometimes it does.
2006-09-11 17:51:00 · answer #1 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a big problem that I have noticed (more since I've grown up than when younger, and people weren't all that busy-headed worrying about anyone but themselves). I've seen it in both women and men. I don't think its about gender. I think its about a person's abilty to reason. Some people treat thinking and forming conclusions as if they were a reasoned judge - holding off on opinions and conclusions until/unless there is some evidence.
Other people just see one little thing about someone and allow their imaginations to go wild with regard to filling in any of the blanks. Its funny, too, because they tend to fill in the blanks with something that is very unflattering to their "victim". They never choose an attractive version of filling in the blanks.
Other than constantly telling them that what they just said isn't correct, and constantly trying to offer enough information that will prevent them from having too many blanks left to fill in; I don't know what you can do about them. They're a giant problem, they can actually be dangerous (as far as a person's reputation goes or even when it comes to what they say to mutual friends).
I can't imagine what the heck they have in their minds when they go through life filling in blanks with whatever they dream up!! Its like they live in some little la-la-land of their own, where they come out looking good and everyone else comes out looking pathetic, evil, or otherwise unappealing.
The trouble is you can keep putting out the fires, but they keep starting new ones!!! As long as you hang out with these people you're frustrated, horrified, and working like crazy to try to make them get the truth into those skulls that seem impervious to legitimate information.
I don't know - I don't know. All I can say is you are not alone in your pet peeve....
2006-09-12 01:03:56 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are essentially two-ways:
a. Just ignore don’t bother to react, they will get tired one day and shut up.
b. Retaliate and give them back once for all in such a way that they never think of repeating the mistake again.
Don’t worry; you will have your day.
2006-09-12 04:54:06 · answer #3 · answered by lguru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best come-back I've used recently is, "Excuse me, Copernicus called; and you're NOT the center of the universe!"
ps Don't use this if you're trying to make friends!
2006-09-12 00:57:09 · answer #4 · answered by ohio healer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just look at them and hold up ur index finger but don't have the palm part facing them and just look at you're finger. This is proven to change their mind and make them realize how stupid they sound and confuse them.
2006-09-12 01:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by Coocha bob 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really can't change other people. All you can do is develop your your speaking skills and logic to the point where you can rebut them coherently and forcefully.
2006-09-12 01:16:22 · answer #6 · answered by Rod 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let them finished and asked them where do they get their facts from.
Is it from a trusted source? On what grounds and basis do they think it is right?
2006-09-12 03:53:55 · answer #7 · answered by crashonme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just look at them when they do it and say, quietly, whoa back up, that isn't what I was saying at all, if you will let me finish. then politely continue.
or if you feel particularly bold, look at them, put your finger to your lips and say softly, shhhhhhhhhhhh, let me finish
2006-09-12 00:56:48 · answer #8 · answered by chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋