If someone described you as manipulative would you be offended?

Question

That's a very good point Sunny.

Answer 1

Yes, I probably would. But knowing me, I wouldn't show it.

Instead, I'd just spend the rest of my days using my extensive network of contacts to spread vicious slanders about him ...

Manipulative? Moi? *hides his copies of Nietzsche, Machiavelli and The 48 Laws of Power behind the cushion*

hehehe ...

Yeah, the term "manipulative" is meant to be derogatory, an insult. Western civilisation is supposedly based on truth and honesty, and any person who uses guile, trickery and deceit to get their own way is usually branded a pariah and ostracised when they get found out.

Brute honesty is in. Little white lies are out.

Which is why, when the husband walks into the house and says "Wife, I have crashed the car in a drunken stupor and, as a result, I just got fired," the wife is supposed to just say "Oh, that's nice, dear," and everybody's happy.

Manipulative behaviour is a function of insecurity. Traditionally, it's exhibited at a young age, when little siblings discover pain at the hands of bullying, and bigger, older sibs. Girls are associated more with manipulative behaviour than boys, sadly, because girls discover pretty damn quickly that putting on the waterworks is a /really/ effective tool to get what they want from older brothers. :-) Believe me when I tell you that, as the older brother, I speak from experience in this.

At its best, cunning breeds effective social networking, and it can produce some good results for a whole network, on the grounds that a whole bunch of people cooperating can accomplish things that one person alone can't achieve.

At its worst, scheming behaviour is fuelled by envy and often generates enough spite to provide the ink for the entire circulation of a tabloid newspaper for a year.

If you yourself have been branded manipulative, the fact that you have asked this question would suggest that you, yourself, are not. The thing about the world's schemers and mini Machiavellis is that, in their insecurity, they are well aware of what they are doing, and why they are doing it (usually, because they believe that the only other way to get what they want is by brute force that they don't have). There is always what is called an "ulterior" or "hidden" motive, usually benefiting the schemer in some way.

If you asked the question because you were concerned about being insulted, don't take it to heart. The person who just branded you such has probably had his pride whipped by recent events, and thinks you're to blame for his current self - inflicted woes.

He'll soon come around. The truth stands on its own.

Answer 2

I would be a little insulted just because I prefer for people to see me as a nice guy. But being a little manipulative is actually a good social skill, I think. If you couldn't alter your persona and tell an occasional lie to make a desired impression on people, life would be a lot harder for you. Anybody with a lick of social intelligence does it, even though they may not always realize it. The only way not to ever manipulate people would be to have a completely static personality and unwavering honesty. And any person like that would have a difficult time functioning in society.

Answer 3

Scorpios are generally manipulative by nature.

So, it depends on
1 who said it and
2 what you think of being manipulative...

4 possibilities:
A Gullible Person + You Like Manip => Offended, you bad manipulator
B Gullible Person + You Disline Manip => Alright, dislike manipulation
C Intuitive Person + You Like Manip => Good feedback, work harder
D Intuitive Person + You Dislike Manip => Offended, subconscious manipulator

Answer 4

If I was really a manipulative person, he was telling the truth, I will not be offended. If I was not a manipulative person, he was telling a lie, I will not be offended. If I would be offended on any of the situations I am stupid.

Answer 5

In as much as is not really good to manipulate others for a personal gain to the disadvantage of those manipulated, I will not be angry if someone said I am manipulative, becouse being able to manipulate is a skill, afterall what is politics about, is not being able to manipulate voters to get them vote for you.

Answer 6

I guess it depends on how they mean it. I mean, I know some people who are "manipulative" but use it for good things...I guess they call that persuasive but to me it's all the same. My sister once told me I was manipulative, that was probably 5-7 years ago and I still haven't decided whether i'm insulted or not! :)

Answer 7

Yes I would feel very offended. I would feel that that person thought I was manipulating things to my advantage and not to the benefit of others.

Answer 8

Yes, as it would mean I wasn't as good at bineg manipulative as I thought I ws, if they figured it out!

I could also use the fact I was offended to manipulate the person into feeling guilty, and bending to my will!

Answer 9

Yes. I pride myself on treating people with respect, and attempting to get others to do what you want in a way that is less than straightforward isn't a good thing.

Someone on here mentioned social skills. Social skills are one thing. Manipulative behavior is another.

Answer 10

It depends on the circumstances.

If I suggested, for instance, that my partner went and got changed into something smarter looking, but then sprung a surprise dinner date on her, would that be wrong even though I manipulated things. If she then called me names I don't think I'd be over bothered.