I'm 26 and I have a 2 year old daughter. I'm mostly friendly with her dad who is 2 years younger than me. We're not together, though it sometimes feels that way. I see him almost everyday. He watches our daughter while I go to school at night and sometimes watches her on the weekend so I can have me time. We argue constantly about the stupidest things, he even fights me on watching on daughter a lot of times. I try to reason with him, but I can't always get through to him. Then there is this other guy whos ALOT older than me(17 yrs older). Age doesn't matter to me, but he is a teacher at my school. I know he likes me too, but we can't act on it. He's single no kids. I like him very much and we have so much in common. I'm just torn between my baby's dad and this older man. I know who I want, but is it right to leave my daughter's daddy behind(even though he'd always be in her life)? This has been tearing me up. help!
2006-09-11 17:02:08 · 4 answers · asked by L♥G 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't have daddy issues. I have a wonderful father.
I started persuing him, he told me at first that I was too young. But I just kept being friendly with him. Besides nothing can happen between us until I graduate in April anyway.
2006-09-11 17:21:31 · update #1
You said that the two of you are not together and just share a child? He will always be the father of your child and a significant part of your life, that part won't ever change, but don't let it hold you back from finding happiness for yourself.
Dads and moms who are content and feel loved are just better for everyone and your daughter will see that that as she grows older. Just because you had a child with this guy, doesn't mean you should put your love life on hold.
I would go for it with this other person who really makes your heart flutter. As for your daughter's father, it is not his position nor his business about what you do with your personal life, as long as it's not hurting his daughter, obviously.
You already have a father for your daughter. Now you need to find someone for yourself. Your not leaving her father behind, your just getting on with the personal aspects of your life.
Since you aren't a couple... I would go for it, girl. He's your daughter's dad - nothing more apparently. Keep it that way.
You loved him at one time but that has come and passed except a child is in the picture. This isn't all that uncommon these days. Just be mature, sensible, and stay on a friendly basis with him... but your letting your guilt keep you from moving on.
Now find and pursue the happiness you need for yourself. :)
2006-09-11 17:20:33 · answer #1 · answered by Lady_Knight 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't have kids, but will answer based on what I think I would do. There's nothing that says if you date this other guy, that the father can't see his daughter. Allow him to continue to be a part of her life, but don't try to be with him just because of that. it's not fair to you, him, or your daughter listening to the constant fighting. I say go for the older guy if you want, but make sure of his intentions. There is a big life difference between 26 and 43, and it isn't typical for an older man to go after a younger woman unless it's more for booty call. Not to say that is all you would be to him, but just make sure of why he's so interested.
2006-09-12 00:11:18 · answer #2 · answered by HG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It obviously has never worked with your younger man, you should be brave enough to move on with your life and love again. He will still be involved with the child because he is the father, but that doesn't mean you should feel obligated not to be involved with someone who cares for you. Also, I can say from experience that older men tend to be much better lovers and are usually mature and responsible.
2006-09-12 00:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well written question, it makes sense at least.
I get the impression that the dad is responsible yet not the love of your life.
The teacher might seem romantic and interesting and ...uh.... kinda "dad" like.
I think if you try a fling with the teacher you'll will be saying goodbye to the good support you get from the dad.
And, it's possible it might be time to move on and let the dad know that you have interests beyond motherhood.
2006-09-12 00:12:24 · answer #4 · answered by wrathofkublakhan 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋