Just jealousy? or do I have a right to be upset?

Question

I have extreme trust issues because of my ex cheating on me, Ive been together with my boyfriend for 6 months, and Im trying very hard to trust him, and not get jealous.
But on friday night he went out with the boys (which he always does, and Im not invited) and told me he was dancing (which he doesnt do) and had heaps of girls dancing around him, and that he stayed at his mates house, and 2 chicks that are friends with his mate are staying there, one likes him, and the other told him he was hot.
I was upset about all of this. Do I have a right to be upset. Or am I being too jealous? And how do I explain it to him that this upsets me, without him getting angry and just telling me I have to stop being jealous all the time.

These girls were already staying at his mates house, ones his friends little sister, and the other was staying there, and didnt come out with them

I went out for a girls night out, I always do when he goes out with the boys, Its just that i dont dance with guys when Im out

Answer 1

"2 chicks that are friends with his mate are staying there, one likes him, and the other told him he was hot."

If you know this much ... then you should be packing your bags.

That's effed up. He's playing you, big time.

Answer 2

I gather you are just dating this fella with no strings attached?
If that is the case then he might be trying to get you jealousy. I said "might" here. And I only say that because he told you all about it.
I feel you and the "girls" should go out and have some fun-no harm no foul. No strings, right?
Folks don't seem to realize that when you date someone, you are just dating them and no glue should be put on either party.
Women nearly always stay at home while the guy goes out with the boys and that is silly. Now if two people get serious enough to get engaged that is another different ball game.
Not all guys will try to make you jealous and what happened with one (or two) won't happen with all. Cool it!

Answer 3

I personally would be upset.
Have you aksed him about this scenario? And if so- how did you feel about how it was explained?
If not, I would definately ask him why if other girls were invited why you were excluded.
Are you overly jealous? He may just be liking that a whole lot, doing things on purpose. Sometimes men like it when women are feeling insecure. They manipulate this for their own gain sometimes, because it makes us try all the harder to be "the one"- we're nicer, dress up more, do more special little attention getting things...

Answer 4

Your issue really isn't with him going out and that is good. The issue is that of trust and it is tough to know if he is sharing this type of info with you so that you'll trust him or if he is telling you this so that he can get away with this type of behavior.

I think you have a right to be concerned given his past behavior. I wouldn't get upset over it, but you definitely should be concerned. Best thing to do is let him know how you feel about hearing info like this. It isn't about him telling you this info, it is about him putting himself in a situation that tells other women that he is available. He is basking in the attention and likes the feeling of options.

Bottom line is that you have the right to feel the way you do. If he wants to help change that, then maybe he needs to find a way to earn your trust.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

there are always to ways to look at a problem. the way i see it is that this girl likes your boyfriend she said he was hot but that really sucks for her cause hes taken w/ you. shes oviously jealous of you for having him. you arnt jelous...your jsut scared that he might get w/ her or break up w/ you for her but if he really likes you and you guys are honest in stuff then its all good. o ya and of course you cant come to a guys night out. hense the phrase GUYS NIGHT OUT. if your always at a guys beck and call you can bet your relationship wont last till the next month or two. leave some space and go out w/ your girls and have a girls night out and maybe turn the tables and hangout w/ some guys and make him a little jelous.

Answer 6

Yeah you can be mad about this one. It's suppose to be GUYS night out... if they were hanging out with girls... then it wasn't guys night out... and you should have been able to go too. I'd be pissed. My boyfriend knows way better than to try something like that. Guys night out is fine if they are playing cards, watching the game, or whatever... He should have called you and let you know what was up before he stayed there.

Answer 7

For him to tell you all this was totally asking for it, I think you have every right to be upset and jealous. Staying out like that and 2 girls staying the night is absurd! he is treating you like you dont matter.

Answer 8

Get a copy of, "You Belong to Me." Play it in the background while you talk to him. Seriously, the lyrics ask, "Why'd you tell me this? Were you looking for my reaction?"
I think that is exactly what he was doing. If it was an innocent night out then he wouldn't come back telling you details about girls that were obviously flirting with him. Bit of a jerk, isn't he?

Answer 9

I think I would be a little upset too. But, that doesnt mean that he did anything wrong. Talk to him and tell him how it made you feel, etc. Ask him how he would feel if the tables were turned? Then, maybe he will understand how you felt. Good luck to you

Answer 10

first of all he should not of been dancing with a bunch of girls second of all if he was going to go dancing with the guys y didnt he invite you was he just going to dance w the guys and sweetie that is not being jealose thats called caring i would of went out friday nite to his friends house and made his *** come home and do u really think nothing went on two girls two guys come on!