There's this guy who's a senior that likes me. He calls my cell like everyday. He's so sweet on the phone. If he calls in the morning he says good morning and when I'm done talking to him at night he says good night and sweet dreams and he tells me that he misses me. The thing is that he's not exactly good looking and let's just say he's not skinny and his friend told me that he really likes me and he wants to ask me out but I guess he's afraid of getting rejected. I know if I went out with him that he'd treat me good. I know you shouldn't just go after looks and personality matters more but I really don't know what to do. When you go out with someone what matters more to you and do you care what people think about the person you're going out with? I think my problem is that I care what people think and that I’d probably feel embarrassed to be seen with him. I know that seems so mean and shallow but I just don’t know. But honestly how would you deal with this situation? What do I do?
2006-09-11 16:54:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you're not attracted to him, then you're not attracted to him period. Let me put it plainly - YOU WILL BREAK HIS HEART.
You wont do him any favors by going out with him now and either a,) cheating on him with someone you do find attractive, or b.) dumping him when you find someone else. Let him find someone who will appreciate him as much as he deserves in every sense of the word - including physically
It's great that you have such a great friend. You must be a special person also to have someone care for you so deeply. You seem to be a nice person, or else you wouldn't be caught in this conundrum.
I have seen it when there's a couple where one is HOT AS HADES!!! and either the other is not what one would call pretty in the traditional sense or isn't hansom in the traditional sense and they are perfectly happy. But the big difference is they are attracted to each other! That's what's important.
Kind of like that 'Shallow Hal' deal. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
2006-09-11 17:07:09 · answer #1 · answered by crisagi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, having been stalked by a man, I automatically get red flags about all the phone calls and how he "misses" you when you're not even dating to be separated. But, let's get beyond that...you may be friends with this person, and in that case, it may be perfectly OK for him to be that intimate on the phone. You obviously are concerned with what other people might think if you're seen with him, and that's a perfectly normal thought for a teenage girl, which I'm assuming you are, and commend you for being so honest. If you think he is a nice guy, but are concerned that the possibility of running into "friends" might make you feel embarrassed, there are a few things you can do:
1. suggest going somewhere that they usually don't hang out. A different theater, a different restaurant, etc.
2. agree to go out with him, but suggest you do "dutch" and as just friends (stress it's not an official date), and run the risk of running into people who may think your choice odd, (and possibly have a great time!)
3. rise above peer pressure and see him for the great guy he is, OR
3. be honest with him! Tell him that while you enjoy his friendship, you're not ready for anything further at this time.
2006-09-11 17:17:01 · answer #2 · answered by Jane V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do need to be attracted to the person. But a lot of times the more you get to know them, the more attractive or the more ugly they become, so don't be quick to deny this guy a shot. Also don't assume that you'll meet tons of great guys, as this one seems to be, who are interested in you in the future.
Try to stop worrying about what other people think so much. The ones you're worried about will probably respect you much more if they see that you're actually not embarrassed to be with a big guy because they will realise that you don't care what they think. You can worry about what other people think, or you can be happy.
If you decide that you just don't want to go out with him, then don't feel bad about it. Just let him know soon because he deserves that.
2006-09-11 18:13:33 · answer #3 · answered by Purple 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks are important to an extent. You have to have some sort of attraction. I've dated people I wasn't exactly attracted to but as I got to know their personality I really started to like them. But you also don't want to date someone that you are embarassed to be seen with. And you aren't being shallow. You are just being honest with yourself and that person. I dated a guy that was really skinny and I didn't like certain things about him and sometimes I was embarrassed by him. So do what you think is right and try not to hurt his feelings whatever you decide.
2006-09-11 16:59:02 · answer #4 · answered by Mel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personality is the and what is in the heart is what matters. If you are worried about your reputation by being seen with him then most likely you just like him as a freind. Maybe if you two just hang out doing small things together; like go to the movies help each other with homework (assuming you are in school)or just talk about things that you both are interested in. Let him know you like him as a freind, but nothing more. He sounds like a nice guy and he would probably understand.
2006-09-11 17:11:20 · answer #5 · answered by no.#1 Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation. I went out and dated very good looking men but they are so shallow and don't know how to express their feelings. That is why it did not last.
When I meet my husband, I thought, no he is not my type but his words, his words were so sincere and so were his actions. He was honest, respected me, has goals and morals much like mine. When I cried he held me, healed me. that is when I knew.
Stand back and think. It is ok just to be freinds but dont led him on. It seems you are getting some need satisfied by speaking with him. Maybe this is enough. If you stay friends, you now know what you enjoy from a man. Is that he listens to your concerns, and is comforting through conversations. It is always best to be friends first.
2006-09-11 17:08:39 · answer #6 · answered by InSight 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are confident with yourself, and you have true friends who will not judge you...why do you care? If anyone has anything to say, they obviously cannot be anything that special. I dated many "hot guys" in high school and they all ended up being heartbreakers, non working, misfits, and the not so seasoned ones all have the money and familys now. I wish I could do it over again. Stop worrying what others think...are you a leader or a follower?
2006-09-11 17:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by bunnylatte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out on a date with him. He sounds like a good guy. Who cares if he's not really skinny or what other people think. All that matters is how you feel and what you think about it.
2006-09-11 16:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was oung ther were girls I thought were pretty and nice but my friends would say" ah she 's ugly" so I was worried about what my so-called friends thought. One dat at an amusement park I got on some rides that I really wasn't fond of( actually I was chicken and DID NOT LIKE RIDING THESE RIDES!!!! ) So I made up my mind that I didn't care what my friends thought and if a girl was attractive to me either based on personality or looks or both then TO HECK with what they thought.
2006-09-11 17:05:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My name is el,I have 4 children of my own. All grown,they think so, ha,ha,my kids and i have a very open relationship.As someone who cares very much i always taught my kids.Know and respect yourself.Friends will always love you,if there TRUE friends,just like family.So if you like this guy and your thinking you might have a good time,you only have one life it live,no one can live it but you.As long as you know your a strong woman,Its a date with a nice guy,that's all,get to know your self !! you could have a new friend. good luck El
2006-09-11 17:41:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋