ok i have been married for 3 years and lately inorder for me to get any i have to beg him i feel like he dont love me any more i feel so ugly when he dont want to make love to me also i have been with him a total of 11 years is it time to give up or is this me or is it him. so confused!!!! i love this man so much but my heart breaks every time he says no i just want the romance back and i aint got nothing to give him no more but my body and i feel like he dont wnat it what the hell should i do
2006-09-11 16:50:01 · 11 answers · asked by angel tears 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should be asking the same question. My husband doesn't seem to be as interested in sex as he once was. I thought it was me, I thought it was because we had kids together and maybe the whole baby delivery thing turned him off. He insists this isn't the case. He insists it's got nothing to do with me. He constantly tells me he loves me and that he feels I'm the most beautiful woman on earth (I know I'm not but it's nice to hear it anyway). I feel like I'm a nympho because I want it more than twice a month. There's nothing wrong with his "equipment," only that he's exhausted most of the time from work. He travels a lot and does experience back pain occasionally.
You are going through a "dry spell." I liked some of the suggestions on here about making the bedroom more "inviting" and adding some spice back into the scene. I have found that begging just doesn't do it. In fact, that turns him off--and when I do ask for it, I get the "sigh" and the "OK, let's do it." Then I get turned off, and p*ssed off. Nothing like forcing my husband to want me! So I started ignoring him, as in, not asking for it, not mentioning it, nothing. One day I just quit asking for it. Since then, he seems to be more interested. Maybe the thrill of the "chase" was gone for awhile with him. I don't know. I sure hope the THRILL continues and doesn't wane again.
If the "dry spell" continues with you, try the other great suggestions. If these don't work for you, get some counseling. It might help both of you. He might be dealing with something and trying not to tell you and it's affecting his mood.
Good luck!
2006-09-11 17:07:12 · answer #1 · answered by Hello Dolly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am like a nympho like anyone could be and I married my now husband because I love him to death. And he controls the sex in our relationship. I thought that there was something wrong with me for the longest time because most of the time he wouldn't even finish, but he tells me how beautiful I am and he loves me like 100 times a day. I have invested in some good quality toys to tide me over until he is ready. Romance is great but sex isn't everything. Another suggestion would be to try to spice up the sex a little be a little creative, don't ask for it, get him in the mood for it, candles, petals on the bed, some romantic music, and what not.
2006-09-11 23:57:05 · answer #2 · answered by binkisoto79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is not attracted to you anymore like that. I will tell you like us men are told no means no so just wait until he is ready we do it all the time. If you can't take it any more then either find a man on the side or just leave him.
2006-09-11 23:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, maybe he is having erection problems, he may have high blood pressure and not know that can make the parts not work.. if everything else is good in your relationship then he needs to see his doctor.
Keep creating a loving environment,,,
2006-09-11 23:54:13 · answer #4 · answered by yeller 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's a little of both of you... Stress, familiarity, lose of a common goal... Seek some marriage counseling to get your marriage back on track and the two of you back in the sack..
2006-09-11 23:52:54 · answer #5 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it's hard to say,he could be cheating or he has some kind of problem needs to see a doctor,male hormone level could be
down or he may not be able to get it up and keep it to have sex.
2006-09-11 23:55:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well let me tell you my husband was like that for 8 months and i was thinking why is he being like that , i mean no matter what i did he just seemed to act like i didn't exist anymore and he blamed it all on me most of the time ..... so i was at camp a couple weeks ago and my kids broke it to me that their father was cheating on me and showed me proof . so all i can say is do not rule that out , it explains alot trust me
2006-09-12 00:03:01 · answer #7 · answered by jojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay! communication or you wont make it. Once a month me and my hubby sit down, no tv, radio or computer and we talk about our expectations and are they being met. If not then we discuss ways on how to meet those goals. good luck
2006-09-12 00:06:58 · answer #8 · answered by wilowdreams 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk with your spouse and find out what is going on in your relationship. Is it possible he might be seeing another woman?
2006-09-11 23:55:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww honey every marriage goes though "dry spells" don't give up let him know how it makes you feel when he say's no soon the sparks will be flying again
2006-09-11 23:54:20 · answer #10 · answered by Amy M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋