I've been married for several years now and within the last year i have become friends with my friends ex- boyfriend. We have very similar beliefs and goals, so the conversation flows great. Occasionally we have dinner and hang out. I happened to mention one of my co-workers that i had dinner with my friend the other nigiht. She immediately asked "having an affair?". Can I not be friends with a single man and hang out? My husband is okay with this but it seems to be looked down upon by society.. apparently by having dinner with a man it means we are sleeping together.
I must admit that even I subscribe to the idea that men and women are never truly "just friends" as one of them always wants more. But I feel that this situation is different.We are two people who talk well together and we share commmon interests.
I would love to hear what others say about this!!
2006-09-11 16:29:22 · 17 answers · asked by stlou_girl_2000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Men and women can be just friends. I'm best friends with my friends wife. We call each other and go out to eat when I'm in town. I don't look at her in a sexual way nor do I have feelings for her beyond being like a sister to me.
Don't get sucked into other peoples comments. Given time, people will see that the two of you are just friends. Most importantly is your husbands feelings. If he is ok with it, then you shouldn't worry about what anyone else says.
Good luck!
2006-09-11 16:35:43 · answer #1 · answered by MYSTICHROME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's definitely difficult to walk that tightrope. People can have opposite sex friends, but let's face it - it takes several factors for it to work well. First, your marriage needs to be one in which your partner knows he is the center of your universe. There are many kinds of affairs - emotional ones count here too, even if there is no sex involved - so it will be important for you to assess this. Second, your friendship needs to be one that never, ever is more intimate emotionally, nor in any other way, than your marital relationship. A sign of trouble would be if you are able to talk to your friend about things you are unable to talk about with your husband. Just make sure these lines are clearly drawn and that you regularly assess them to make sure they stay clear, and you should be fine.
2006-09-11 23:36:19 · answer #2 · answered by Mark L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't recommend a situation like this, and even you admit to the idea that either the man or woman may want more.
However, you have been up front with your spouse and he doesn't seem to have a problem with this arrangement. I would still proceed with caution. You don't want an innocent friendship to turn into something more than you can handle.
2006-09-11 23:33:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as they guy truly knows how far you are willing to allow things to progress then yeah just be friends. I have lots of friends that are girls and I don't have any interest in wanting to be closer than I am with them. Everyone needs more friends anyways so I don't see a problem
2006-09-11 23:32:53 · answer #4 · answered by osunumberonefan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend is a man, but I do love him a little more. But I also know I can never have him, so I like the thought of at least being his friend.
2006-09-11 23:36:37 · answer #5 · answered by LadyL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can honestly say that this is a platonic relationship on your side and his side and it's OK with your husband who cares what "society" thinks is OK.
Just make sure you're being honest about your feelings and his feelings because otherwise you're playing with fire.
2006-09-11 23:34:14 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men and women can truly just be friends. I know it as a fact.
Screw the society.
2006-09-11 23:32:18 · answer #7 · answered by xxGlamROCK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I, too, am married and have a few male friends that I hang out with on occasion.......I have heard that I was sleeping with them (LOL) and that I was leaving my hubby for them (bigger LOL).....Who cares what society thinks as long as we are innocently having good times with our friends???? My hubby always knows where I am and who I am with, and has the opportunity to come out and see what is going on anytime that he wants too.............
2006-09-11 23:32:47 · answer #8 · answered by mizzzzthang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are certain of all agendas and not hurting anyone, all the best to you. You've told your husband, that's your best protection from any adverse fallout.
2006-09-11 23:32:42 · answer #9 · answered by teef_au 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a problem with it. If your husband is okay with it don't even worry about what everyone else thinks....
2006-09-11 23:32:26 · answer #10 · answered by purple rain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋