I have jealousy/security/selfesteem issues. I'm 22 and I go to the gym every day (sometimes twice on my days off work), I buy the latest clothing, I have facials, I get my nails & hair done reguarly. I feel like i'm in competition with every female out there.
My ex (of 8months) who I miss & think of everyday :(.. broke up with me because i was 'too possessive'. Which i know i am but i can't help it. Whenever i see him talk or even look at a female i fly out in a jealous rage. Well maybe not a rage as such, but i get really annoyed. I know there are heaps other better looking females than me..I spend at least 2 hours in the morning to get ready for work..I feel like im obssessed because I know that looks fade. What am I going to do when I turn 40..I really don't know.. Can u give me a bit of advice.
2006-09-11 16:14:53 · 12 answers · asked by Brooke K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The problem with u is that u are giving too much importance to the "physical" aspects of yourself instead of working on your attitude. I know this is going to sound harsh but the truth of the matter is...u can be beautiful yourself but there is ALWAYS going to be someone more beautiful as far as "the eyes of the beholder". Your attitude is going to push ANY man u hook up with away because nobody is gonna want to take on the task of reassuring u every single minute 24/7.
When a man loves and respects u, it DOESN'T matter if there are other, beautiful women around (even if these women are only beautiful in your eyes and not his). True beauty comes from within. It is what enhances what we have on the outside. As u said, physical beauty fades with time. If u have no beauty inside of u, u will be left with nothing at all. So...stop projecting your own insecurities onto other people and thinking that's the reality because the truth is...it's only YOUR reality. Your vision is so clouded by your own insecurities that u fail to appreciate when someone is actually paying u an honest compliment.
2006-09-11 16:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really feel you need to get into some type of therapy, as you are on self-destruct if you keep going this way. You already know that you will suffocate any relationship that you are in, so you need to get to the bottom of where all this is coming from. It is not healthy for you or whoever you become involved with. My daughter went thru all of what you are saying and she found out she is borderline bi-polar. She has been on medication and her life has made a major turn around. She was doing all the things you are saying and she drove her fiance to the point he couldn't emotionally take it anymore. This was the turning point, as she knew she was on a downhill road and didn't want to lose him. She admitted she had a major problem and was willing to do whatever it took to find out how to deal with it. They are married and just had their first child....her life is not filled with the emotional turmoil any longer. Love yourself (not just in the mirror love) enough to seek the answer.
2006-09-11 17:16:44 · answer #2 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really understand where u are coming from i go through the same thing in my past my exes and i have ended because they say i am to possessive or i am to clingy and all kinds of things like that so don't think its u i personally i think that some guys cant not deal with the fact that some men cant not handle all of the pressure of a woman asking all of those questions and being all up on them so they fell like they are being suffocated so all i can Say to u is good luck and never settle for 4 any thing less than u think u deserve
good luck
2006-09-11 16:41:34 · answer #3 · answered by lost in love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The easy answer would be, STOP OBSESSING!!!!
That being said, why do you feel that you are in competition with every female? And furthermore, why would you want to be in competition? All that material stuff is not what a man wants in a woman. That's not to say that a man doesn't want his female companion to look good, it just means that that's not all there is.
Find something about yourself that you like and concentrate on that. Stop thinking about your ex and think about yourself. Find other ways to occupy yourself. Good luck.
2006-09-11 16:38:35 · answer #4 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to work on your inner self your right looks fade and beauty is only skin deep. Just be your self with out all 2 hours getting ready your not enjoying your life. I take 1 hour to get ready for what ever and I feel fine I enjoy wearing make up getting facials but it sounds like you are not happy with your inner beaty work on that.
2006-09-11 16:26:23 · answer #5 · answered by okfy9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Low Shoulder isn't a real band. A lyricist wrote it exceedingly for this action picture, and there is not an quite band. that is merely loose-lancing drummer guitarist, etc. prepare. i'm getting the soundtrack! It sounds quite incredible. =).
2016-10-14 22:00:02 · answer #6 · answered by shade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds you have done enought for appearance, trying to relax and do not pay much attention to catuch guys, pay attention to boost your self-esteem like developping another hobby, engage into high-end social events and make more friends you can learn something new inside out or getting another advance degree to boost your career or social life, keep yourself updated inside and outside then you will feel differently.
2006-09-11 16:29:29 · answer #7 · answered by wolf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you would put a little effort and some of all that money that you are spending on your appearance on a good shrink maybe you wouldn't be so intimidated by every other woman out there.
2006-09-11 16:31:12 · answer #8 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to relax a bit, enjoy life, learn how to age gracefully and stop trying so hard to beat the competition.
2006-09-11 16:44:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling to learn the root of your issues and learn to overcome them so you can have a healthy relationship... If you don't you are going to go from one unhealthy relationship to another always dragging the same baggage along with you....
2006-09-11 16:22:15 · answer #10 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋