should we stay together?

Question

my boyfriend (of two years) and i aren't getting along for some reason...it's been this way for about 3 months. i'm 24 and he's 33. there is no reason we shouldn't get along he is my best friend and i love him, but most of the time i can't stand to be around him? do i love him , but maybe i'm not in love with him? oh yeah, we live together. i'm affraid that if i leave i'll make a big mistake...and if i stay i'll be unhappy? what should i do????

Answer 1

Sounds like you're between a rock and a hard place right now.
To see just how you feel about your guy, instead of leaving him why not go and "visit" a relative for awhile to see just how you do feel about your guy.
I think you are not in love with him nor he with you but if you stay you may be hurt even more then you already are because if the two of you aren't getting along then maybe it's time for a separation just to see how you both feel about the other.
If you're not happy together now then things won't get any better unless you talk things through now and then make up your mind about your next step but no matter what you decide to do you should do it now before you become depressed and that won't do either of you any good at all.
Talk things out with your guy and then decide if it's worth another try or not. Then if you decide to leave him you will know that you gave it your best shot too.
Best of luck and use you head and not your heart when you decide, ok.

Answer 2

u guys have been together for 2 years. Wow! and cant get along. Have tried talking 2 him about it. try and work things out with him before u consider breaking up with him. But I dont think u should stay with him if u are unhappy. My bf and i have been dating 4 9 months and we tend 2 have arguments its not that we dont love each other but its because we are different and we come from different backgrounds. We always talk about why we arguing and then make up and try not 2 do watever caused the argument. maybe its the same with u guys u love each other but u tend to fight alot with each other so try talking to him. tell him that u are not happy and that u are gonna try and work things out. If that doesn't help leave. U can do better anyhow. By the way i'm sorry that u are unhappy. hope things work out between u two. good luck.

Answer 3

You are at a crossrorads. That is a bummer. I suggest doing a list of Pros and Cons for staying. Whichever side is longer, is the one you go with.

Seriously---you need to think long and hard about this. You do have to make a decision at some point. You are miserable right now--so you need to find out what will make you happy. I think you are afraid to leave because maybe you won't find anyone else and you will be alone. Can't think like htat. If staying togheter is making you miserable, it's time to move on. Maybe moving out and trying to regain your relationship when you arne't seeing one another 24/7 may help you sort things out as well. Good luck!

Answer 4

You said that most of the time you can't stand to be around him. It doesn't necessarily mean that you don't love him. But there is obviously tension where you live.
If he's really your best friend like you say, then he should be willing to work over the issues with you, & get whatever is troubling you two cleared up.
You may want to try couples councilling, but another thing that has helped my wife & I with communicating is a method called "Intentional Dialogue"
Visit http://www.relationshipjourney.com/dialtips.html
Read the complete article on this website, together with your BF.
Give it a try. It's really awkward at 1st, & actually takes a little practice to get comfortable with it, but you can get unbelievable results from the very 1st try, as long as you both are willing.
Hope it helps.

Answer 5

There's a reason alright why you're not getting along. My bet is there's someone else he's eyeing!! Listen, I've been in relationships where I thought that person was my best friend and the love of my life, and then I married...twice cuz I thought all those things. It turns out that after being together for more than a year...or two...they weren't my best friends. Yes I did love them, but neither relationship was healthy. Now, I am married to my best friend. We've been together for three years and I still absolutely love his company. I not only love him, but I like him. I really think that's key in any relationship. There isn't one moment that I wished he wasn't around. When you feel like that about someone, I believe they are the one for you! The other two husbands....I couldn't stand being around them for very long! Too bad it took me till my 40's to find my best friend! Don't throw your life away and be miserable! You need to make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy. He's not really your best friend, and no you're not "in" love with him. Just be friends and go your seperate ways!

Answer 6

There is a very good reason you can't stand to be around him. You may not be able to recognize the reason, but it's there. It is often a very good idea to act on your instincts. In life there are no mistakes. Every step we take is a step forward, taking us to where we need to be tomorrow and the day after. Think of that as you pack your things to move out. Because you need to start your life anew, and look for someone with whom you look forward to spending every day of your life with.

Good luck :)

Answer 7

I felt the same way one time. Eight years later divorced I realized he was more of a "brother type friend" than a lover. Separate the two and you will most likely find your answer. Just don't let it take you eight years.

Answer 8

Sounds like you need to work on the relationship or end the relationship. You are the only one that can decide which is the right course of action for you! Good luck

Answer 9

First, you need to define for yourself what does love mean, what do i want in a relationship, and am I getting my needs meet.

Sometimes people just grow apart. The point is to end it like adults before one of you are getting your needs meet by someone else.

Answer 10

Think of all the reasons he gets on your nerves and figure out if they can be corrected. If not then you should go but if you can fix the problem then you should really try. Talk to him and explain how you feel. I'm sure there are some things that get on his nerves to. Hope it helps!!!!!!!!!