This guy likes me, but i really dont have those feelings towards him. we are really good friends though, and so i cant just ignore him. he has been wanting to do everything with me, almost stalker-ish, but not in that derogitory sense. i still want to be friends with him, but he is a really sensitive guy and everything that i tell him, he blows way out of proportion. how do i communicate to him to give me space, without him flipping out about it? I need help please!
2006-09-11 16:05:25 · 22 answers · asked by sweetlacrossechic33 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He will flip out.
Accept that he will flip out.
And say "I know you will flip out, but I need my space, and if you are a good friend you can appreciate and honor my request".
2006-09-11 16:07:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a hard situation, but you're going to have to be honest sooner or later. Maybe you can drop some clues at first, like "you know you really are a good friend, I hope we never lose that." Then you could say something about how when a guy and a girl are friends sometimes they lose that friendship when one or both of them get involved because whomever they're with gets "jealous" and it messes up the friendship between them. Then you can say, "I hope that never happens to us because I really love hanging out with you and enjoy our friendship."
This way he can still keep his dignity because you aren't really "dumping" him. It's like you are telling him how much you care about him but you're also stroking his ego because in essence you're saying you hope you don't lose his friendship when he gets involved. That way you're setting the stage for letting him know that you like your relationship with him just as it is - a friendship.
2006-09-11 16:12:22 · answer #2 · answered by nquizzitiv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your description I think he will be hurt whatever you say. However, to make the pain minimal you can try saying that you value your friendship too much. You really care for him but you don't think it could work out. You can also say "I'm glad we are really good friends and I don't ever want to change that." Make him understand that you really appreciate the attention you're receiving but it can't go any further because you dont like him in that way. Make sure that he doesnt think you like him less but saying this.
2006-09-11 16:09:04 · answer #3 · answered by star 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been on the other side of your question. I like this girl a lot, but she has a boyfriend that she really cares about. I've told her how I feel and at one time that made us closer. But then she started feeling guilty. That made it hard for us to be friends. Eventually she stopped talking to me. That was bad for me. I lost my best friend, and someone that I really cared about. When I realized what had happened, I backed off. I wanted her for a friend more than anything. I didn't want to ruin that. Make him understand that he means a lot to you as a friend. That you don't want to lose him. If he understands that, then he really is a good friend.
2006-09-11 16:11:07 · answer #4 · answered by Jason C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
to be absoloutly honest, i am in the exact same situation. one of my really good friends from school called me up last night and asked me out. he said he has had feelings for me for a long time, i didnt know what to say, i dont have any feelings for him except for in friendship. i didnt want to hurt him. he's not really an attractive guy, and he has probaly been turned down alot, so i just said that i dont know. but i dont know maybe i should give him a chance, it may work out, try that. just give your friend a chance.
2006-09-11 16:10:53 · answer #5 · answered by tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess that's a problem a lot of women have but you just got to tell him that you don't feel that way about him, honesty is your best policy, or you can go the opposite way and go out get a guy to dump after a few weeks to get him off your back. its kinda cold though
2006-09-11 16:09:12 · answer #6 · answered by Clam 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honesty is the best policy. Tell him nicely, yet firmly what you just said in your question.
Its not a perfect world. Hearts are broken everyday. But it is better to be honest than to dance around and leave him what he will perceive as a glimmer of hope.
Good Luck!
2006-09-11 16:08:28 · answer #7 · answered by TG Special 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well that's is truly delicate
just explain to him that you want to be just friends. tell him his friendship as it is now is far more important to you, you do not want to loose it. getting involved with a friend romantically is the worst thing for a friendship.
and good luck....if he gets to bad about it suggest counselling for his over sensitive feelings. there is usually a reason a person is so sensitive.
2006-09-11 16:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by Marg N 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
write him a letter and tell everything
you must really just try to ignore him
there's no easy way for this
but it would be harder if he is there hanging out with you and you dont like him
go straight to the point
let him hurt , do it or else be bothered with it forever
once in a while you have to be cruel to be kind
2006-09-11 16:08:06 · answer #9 · answered by haringmarumo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
GET involved,that dont include him. Then he will say lets go here, lets go there. AND you will reply: i have Other plans. IF you tell him about 20 times you have other plans that dont include him . Sooner or later he will get the message.
2006-09-11 16:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋