I made it through school studying by osmosis. Can I use the process of reverse osmosis to write a book?

Question

I graduated high school because of my habit of sleeping with my head on my textbooks. Now I'm thinking that if I sleep with my head on a book filled with blank pages, I'll get a best-seller. Should I order a BMW now?

Answer 1

You are forgetting about all the times you passed out while looking at pornographic magazines.

Your book would be filled with references to shemales, erect nipples, and Ron Jeremy's back hair.

I don't think that would sell well at Barnes and Noble.

Answer 2

We can do it with normal osmosis, make you rich, and save some trees at the same time.

To recap: the basic principle of osmosis is that 'gunk' (a scientific term) hauls its big fat *** (another scientific term, so sensitive that Yahoo bans it) from regions of low concentration to regions of high concentration.

Now, let's assume that your head contains highly concentrated knowledge (mainly random sports scores, vast catalogues of yelled advice from your wife, various sexual fantasies, and the bare minimum technical stuff required to prevent you from getting fired from your job*)

For this is diffuse out, your head must now rest on a source of even more concentrated knowledge. (And I don't mean shallow fluff like the Bible, Encyclopedia Britannica, or Washington Post, either.)

No, I mean Yahoo! Answers.

Because everything here is true, profound and spelled correctly.

So rest your head against your computer screen and have a couple of buckets ready to catch all the knowledge that's going to start diffusing out, in tiny black letters, through your ears.

When it's all out, get a giant blank artist's canvas and hurl the accumulated wisdom at it from about six feet away.

It will amazingly rearrange itself into the familiar words:

'THX FOR THE DEUCE! LOL!'

Now, sell that to the MOMA for a cool 5.7 million bucks, and get a Beemer (or two).

Answer 3

I tried that once but all the words in my reverse osmosis created book were in a random order. It made no sense and they cancelled my book deal ten pages into the manuscript.

better luck to you though!

Answer 4

Osmosis involves the transfer of liquids. You learned by diffusion.

Answer 5

Which ever one you decide to do is fine with me. If its a good enough book, I'll read it.
Order a red convertible.

Answer 6

yes, a convertible

Answer 7

order the bentley