Why is it that once a person is dead, everyone starts speaking about how brilliant he or she was?

Question

That bothers me. Why is it that people send a tremendous amount of flowers when they can't even smell them or see how beautiful they are? Heck I want my flowers now and I want to hear people talking about how brilliant and nice and sweet and how much they love me RIGHT NOW. Not when I'm gone. Don't you think we should tell all of our loved ones "every day" just how much we appreciate them, enjoy them, and how smart and wonderfull we think they are?

Wow this is probably the most responses I've gotten in any of my questions. And thank you all for speaking your minds on this one. Let me tell you all right now, that I appreciate each and everyone of you for giving me your time.
My question came to me earlier from watching television and listening to some of the people speak of their loved ones who died on this day 5 years ago in New York or in one of the airplanes. They spoke of how much they miss their loved ones and how brilliant they were. That made me think... I wonder when was the last time they actually told these people just how much they loved them to their face. Maybe someone died thinking no one loved them or needed them. That must have been a terrible thing to be thinking at the time.

Answer 1

I understand. It's mainly because you're not supposed to bad-mouth the dead, so what else are you supposed to say? I agree though.

Answer 2

I agree completely, we should tell the ones that we love everyday how much we appreciate them. A lot of people send flowers just to let the family know that they are thinking and praying for them. Some even have cards on them saying that they would like for the flowers to go to a certain person after the services are over.

Answer 3

Cause once someone's dead, there's no return. When they're alive, we always think there's the next day, the time, or the next even greater work.

Yes, we should treat all our loved ones like that, but doesn't it seem redundant after a time? And we get lazy and underappreciate...then we realize they're dead and we suddenly remember them...like "absence makes the heart fonder" except in a more extreme form.

Besides, we have a faulty memory, too, and remember only the good things: nobody remembers the bad things. While alive, the two might not get along, all the time, and also disagree on much; afterwards, though, it's all different.

Besides, they are only trying to show their love for the person, even after their death.

Answer 4

I honestly think that most folks are afraid to speak ill of the dead. I have known of a few persons who were not treated well by their relatives but when they died these same relatives gaved them burials fit for royalty. This is so wrong. We need to take care of each other better and show continuous love. Cause we pass this way but once.

Answer 5

I guess it is a way of showing late appreciation. Half of their lives, people take things for granted so when someone dies, they realize that they didn't appreciate that person enough so they try to make themselves feel better by putting flowers on the grave and talking about all of the good times and stuff like that.

Answer 6

I know what you mean. It is considered a polite thing for people to show their love of the newly deceased. Some of us can be such hypocrites at it.

In genuine regret, I do regret not being able to spend more time with those who can no longer be here with me. I never was able to aptly show my liking of them at the time. And sometimes, even though the dear aunt is old, you still have the mindset that she'd always be around, She was all your life. Then one day she dies, and that's it. All that has been done or said cannot be changed.

Answer 7

I agree with you. That's why when I die there will be no funeral most of the time people just show up because they feel they have to. I see all the people I want to see know and that's all that matters.
I will be cremated there will be no kind of service no place in the cemetery for ashes just let the wind carry me where ever

Answer 8

Hey, you just answered one of my questions, now i'm going to answer yours, it's just called paying your respects, if you was cool and loved that person, then that's being real wit it. But if you really didn't like that person then you just being phony if you saying all these wonderful things and you didn't like that person. And i tell the people that are close to me that i love them everyday of the week (and twice on sunday!) i hug them and let them know what they mean to me! No shame in this game! And for the record, you say i look like a pimp, well you look like a angel! holla!

Answer 9

Yes definately we should be doing this every single day! I think that people do it when someone dies because it's always better to remember the good stuff about people and that helps with the grieving process.

Answer 10

I consider myself as real as they come,i pride myself on my honesty, I treat people the way they treat me.I believe that no man is better than any other,we all came from vagina's'.I believe that human beings are insignificant in the big scheme of things eternal,we are carbon,we will all return to the earth from which we sprang.I believe in the reality that if anyone who is reading this takes a look around their present location.....EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SEE,EVERYTHING, all of it,even this computer.....all came,in material form,from this floating rock we call Earth,because nothing leaves,or arrives,it all came from beneath your feet,to me that is incredible....before us there was nothing but trees and rocks...oh yeah there was peace too.I believe that humans are a virus on this planet,and the planet fights us with hurricanes,tsunamis,volcano's',etc... I don't believe there is an afterlife,but I do believe that when we die our "spirit" remains here.To me a spirit is carbon.

Answer 11

You are absolutely correct! Maybe when people dont express their feelings, they feel they have to be more honorable and respectful when remembering them. Like you said, people should tell each other when they are still here because you never know when it will be too late.