We were close to signing settlement papers and things fell through and now we're at ground zero. My ex is distraught over our separation, and has verbally abused me off and on throughtout these 2 years (that i have ruined his life). I have moved on ok (not great, but ok) but am still unsure of the decisions i have made. When we don't speak, i do think he's not such a bad guy and the thought of starting over and "dating" is daunting, but when i see and talk to him, i think that we don't really have "anything left" and i need to just think forward to the future. I go back and forth with these feelings constantly. Any advice out there for someone who's emotionally struggling?
2006-09-11 14:44:43 · 7 answers · asked by pinebarrons1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way... we have 2 children together that's why we talk almost everyday.
2006-09-11 14:50:06 · update #1
think about the reason you seperated in the first place, going back and forth will only confuse the kids. make your decision and stand firm with it, you won't regret it.. i just finished a two year court battle divorce with 2 kids and in that time i questioned the worht of the divorce many times, but never gave in. me and the kids couldn't be happier now, i am glad i made that choice.
2006-09-11 17:13:08 · answer #1 · answered by RNbaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I know this pain I have been married for over 20 years and have one child with my stbex. I know that once the line has been drawn and crossed there is really no way of going back so you have to move forward. The best thing to do is allow your children to have a loving relationship with both parents. Love is a different bond between Parent and child vs a marriage relationship. One spouse is not on the same level and will blame the other but the truth be known that it takes two to to enter a relationship and it is never one-sided. Good Luck
2006-09-11 21:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we're in a familiar situation. i left my husband last year and moved in w/ mom. we've been through a lot and i really think it's time for me to move on, alone. i feel i would be more effective as a person if i'm alone, w/ my son.
anyways, i also know how you feel when you say you don't think he's such a bad guy when you talk to him, but thinks otherwise when you see him.. that is what is happening to me now. i let him see my son once a week. those times, we can't help but talk about problems and raise our voices at each other.
i honestly feel that we're better off in different ways.
so i guess if you feel that way, then you have every right to live your life happily.
2006-09-11 21:58:44 · answer #3 · answered by piper h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have a problem. He must remain in the children's lives. Do you have a legal order for child support payments? If not, get one...NOW.You also need to get a court order regarding their custody, visitation rights etc. This will go a long way toward letting him know that you & he are through as a couple. You need to tell him this also. It sounds as if he is manipulating you & you're letting him. You know that you want to end it so do it & quit giving back into him or he'll just keep on dragging it out. Next time, please don't have babies by someone you're not married to. I know marriage doesn't guarantee anything but somehow just doesn't seem as dumb. If someone loves you enough to have 2 kids with you then he loves you enough to marry you.
2006-09-11 21:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by mazell41 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard for you to admit it because of your kids but if he's verbally abusive, you did the right thing. Think about your kids growing up and hearing him say that ruined his life' that should help you 'see the light" Good Luck!!
2006-09-11 21:57:12 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was married 3, together 5, still caint be with anyone, and its been since feb. we split up in augest 05 but keept seeing each outher till feb 06 it hurts but things are getting better. its hard but give it time. i feel for you. smile!!!!
2006-09-11 22:17:04 · answer #6 · answered by BRUCE H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just make up your mind , be strong.
2006-09-11 21:49:18 · answer #7 · answered by boathouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋