A dilemma regarding economics and a close friend? -- A girl very dear to me {who regrettably lives roughly?

Question

a thousand miles away} has run into some major problems.

Her mother never was a good parent, but she has recently taken the cake. They're not well off; my friend was relying on a loan which would have deferred the payments until she graduated from college. Her mother cosigned.

Some signals got crossed, as they have to start paying in the second semester. The mother has decided she'll have no part of it, which leaves the girl without the money to continue her schooling.

There is no other financial option, aside from impressing her story on the aid department. They turned her down for their student loan, as did the banks.

What can I say to try and help her through this situation? I've never been in this kind of position. Any practical advice I can give her? Perhaps possible financial ideas? Emotional comfort?

Help!

She was turned down for the student loan due to a 'bad' debt-to-income ratio. That's what I gathered.

Answer 1

REALLY LONG~ This really works- It is my life!


We have four signature loans for education. $200,000 dollars- no crap! Just for my husband. The example is mine- I paid cash for college. It took longer, yet it worked for me and my bestfriend.

Being a good friend is hard at this point, Here's what she should do: Yet what ever choice she makes, a friend will love her no matter what. [ all of us make bad choices}

She needs to put class on the back burner. Tighten that belt more and be a warrior in the fight for making her college dreams come true.

Get a good- temp job with an agency [daytime] tru to get it (in or close too) the related college degree she wants. THEN work like a freaking DOG~ for the rest of the semester, work Starbvucks or retail store at night & holidays.{50-60 hours a week- NOT joking here!]

Direct deposit the money into a savings account- one half of the day job and the entire part-time job is the college fund. Claim zero + $10 on the tax form for the jobs, so that it will come back at tax time in refund.
I worked 50-60 a week and one evening class for one year.

When I went to register for Fall classes, I had $17,000 in my savings account and was shocked. My tax refund paid for a spring break to Cancun as a reward to mself for being so diligent. That was enough to quit one of the jobs and go back fulltime to college. Yet I never lost that work ethic and dedictation to my goals in life. I never let my destiny be controlled by someone else- till I became a mom.

Save up that money and pay "cash" for one class at a time and quickly get back onto night classes! She is moving toward her goals in education and while being in class she can defer (put repayment on hold) that loan for up to two years or till she graduates. If she maintains this pace for the next four years can repay those loans fast and have incredible credit for after college.

Having that much money will be tempting, so I highly recommend a planned activity every week for a stress relief. Friday night or Saturday night at the midnight movies or Ball game. She will be so physically exhausted that YOUR friendship will be the defining thing that keeps her focus strong. NO matter the distance. Get free long distance on cell phones with unlimited talk with "her".

BEST FRIEND heres your job:
Write her emails, hallmark e- notes and gift her with starbucks coffee cards or chillis' food card for that "favorite lunch salad" in a real "thinking of you card".

IN your case ( look for cheap round trips to you and just enjoy her at home) I used too make a date for Sunday at 7am for girl chat at La Madleines or other favorite place. Trade picking up food or movie tickets or Say the truth, Tell her that you be proud of her and that she is teaching you by example and can watch her grow. and its worth a small price "money" to spend an hour relaxing with you. Give her a heads up on if she needs to get the ticket, and never lend money,

GIVE it without any strings= no emotional issues that way. I used to stick a 5 or 10 in my friends bag or book when she didn't notice. She did notice one day the $20 and said, did you do this? Oh well, yeah I did, it was in my "jeans" and well its "Free money" and thought it was my blessing and shared it with you. Since the best blessing I have is your friendship.

A college education is very important, attaining it can make the career choices and the compesantion for such more rewarding.

As an HR person, I always asked if the partime jobs from college were on that fancy resume? Those managers were the ones I called first. Your dedication is character building.


Oh are we still friends? Yes, The times have changed-She is an executive that lives in Naples FLA and I'm just a stay at home mom/ housewife at this time. I just got home TODAY from a 5 day resort vacation all paid for my her since she could and it means that much to us both. I cried one night at dinner since the meal was more that what I had for the entire week. She cried right back saying "Don't cry, I cried enough for the both of us when I found the money in my books, bathroom drawer, under the sofa and in my car and figured it out it was you for years.: There were times that take home dinner and $10 lasted me a week till payday. That $5 got me gas to work and Starbucks card was my saving grace a test time. Hey this just dinner- your the real gift! You know my best friend once told me that! I'm crying now. That was last Saturday night.


Erase any blame on the parents, YOU don't know what is happening their life. We only know what "we" know and sometimes that isn't the whole truth. I hope that this lesson for her is that its about us, not our parents.

BEST WISHES - Life is what happens while you are making plans. SO live each moment.

You can cut and paste this to her if you want.

Answer 2

Contact the agency that issued the loan. If it was not due, then she should not have to begin payment yet. Apply for scholarships. If she cannot afford a university, go to a junior or community college. Earning straight A's there will open up many opportunities for scholarships. It is best to begin this way anyway since it is less expensive and covers basics. Majors are usually not declared until the junior year at university. As long as the AA has been earned, the university usually cannot declare the transfer student deficient and make her take additional classes.
How about work study? How about a part-time job? Time will pass anyway, as long as she plugs away at her degree, she will eventually earn it. Take less classes and work full time if necessary.
Her mother cannot opt out of a loan she cosigned. If it is not paid, both of them will suffer credit problems and be subject to garnishment on any job they work unless arrangements are made to pay off the loan.
Good luck to your friend.

Answer 3

First tell her not to panic- most student loans even those who have payments during school offer hardship deferments. Tell her to go to school and wait for the bills to arrive and then call the customer service number on the bill and talk to them. She may need to let the payments get behind 30-60 days for the program options to kick in but hopefully they can offer some options before anything is reported on her credit file.

Not being able to make student loan payments is not the end of teh world and as loans goes these usually have the best options for deferment or small payments over time where as a car loan or house will not. Good luck.

Answer 4

Why was she turned down for a standard student loan?
The other option would be working on campus, or off-- it would be hard, but she wouldn't be the first one to work her way through school.

Answer 5

If she is under 21 then he mother's and father's income can prevent her from getting a loan. I can only suggest that she go to a junior college or something like that.

Answer 6

Those people who think their perfect are not perfect at all. their beauty is skin deep. all the girls that i knew in school who were trim, popular and perfect are now married and look like old fat frumpy woman. there should not be any rules for dearest friends. i want to know the person not their outsides. i need to know that the person will stand for me no matter what, thats true friendship. the uglies might just be the better person who will give true advice and be a true friend cause they don't worry about what on the outside

Answer 7

well, next time read the fine print, the mom is liable for the loan, since she co-signed, she should be aware of this and looking to straighten things out.

Answer 8

tell way feel