My Boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years. We have 2 kids 5 and 2. Lately my 5 year old is asking everyone if they are married, then wants to know why we are not. We tell that we love eachother and that's all that matters?
So my question is there anymore I can say, or just keep telling her that we're happy and love eachother?
2006-09-11 14:25:03 · 13 answers · asked by traci s 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm guessing just telling her that you chose to not get married, but that you love each other just the same, would be a sufficient explanation at this age.
2006-09-11 14:28:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that mommy and daddy love each other just like married people do, and that one day you will get married, but right now you are both happy with how the family is too. Then say, don't you think we have a nice happy family, and she likly will say yes, and then say well that is what is important, that we are happy, and momy and daddy are here together, andwe always will be. You could also use the angle that getting married is a "big people" decision, and that you and daddy may do so sometime, but you are too busy right now to get married, because you are taking care of the family, but you are the same as a couple that is married. good luck
2006-09-11 14:35:00 · answer #2 · answered by shrimpseys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know what your religious beliefs are,but according to the bible..when you have sex with someone and have kids,you are married in the eyes of God and that is what really matters....my husband and I have been married for 13 years and our plan was to go to the justice of the peace (which we did) have a boy and a girl(which we did) and then we are going to renew our vows at church ,because we want our kids to be in the wedding and part of everything....good luck..I am sure evrything will work out for the best and you two will marry when the time is right!
2006-09-11 14:31:35 · answer #3 · answered by NaeNae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your lack of committment is being noticed by your 5 year old? I don't care how many Brad's and Jolie's there are out there, traditional marriage shows true love, loyalty and the willingness to 'go the distance'. It will become more uncomfortable for the children as they get older if most of their friends' parents are married and you all are cohabitating. It will also be problematic if you are going to church and learning the principles of the Bible. Your children will question your morals and they will be confused. Think about them, please. And think about why you can't or won't get married.
2006-09-11 14:35:38 · answer #4 · answered by watergirl54 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get married. If you and your guy are so happy together, then getting married shouldn't hurt. At the very least your children wouldn't be so confused about things. If this will give them more of a sense of stability, and you and their father are happy, then you owe the children that.
2006-09-11 15:47:51 · answer #5 · answered by Purple 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on you have been 2gether for 9 years you are either gonna get married or your not. Just get married and then the little turd wont have to ask you anymore.
2006-09-11 14:29:04 · answer #6 · answered by THAT GIRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep letting her know that you and daddy love her and each other very much and try to be honest with her. She understands more then you think. Tell her in a way that she will understand why you two are not married.Good Luck
2006-09-11 14:28:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no harm in getting married just for the sake of the kids..unless you want your children any legal heirs of you.
You should abide the simple rules of the society we live in. Rebelling against have no thrill after some time.
2006-09-11 14:32:01 · answer #8 · answered by Rammohan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that was all that mattered as you put it to your 5 year old:
A. He would have stopped asking
B. You would not be asking this question.
I think that you should both be asking yourselves -
Why aren't you married?
2006-09-11 14:31:22 · answer #9 · answered by Winter_Decay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
9 YEARS AND TWO KIDS, YET YOU STILL DON'T TRUST EACH OTHER ENOUGH TO SIGN A PIECE OF PAPER THAT PUBLICLY DECLARES THAT YOU TWO CHOSE EACH OTHER AND YOU ARE A FAMILY.......
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?
ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO KEEP YOURSELVES 'AVAILABLE' OR SOMETHING? WHAT'S THE MATTER, YOU WON'T PUBLICLY ANNOUNCE THAT YOU CHOSE EACH OTHER?
YOU ARE SETTING A REALLY BAD EXAMPLE FOR YOUR KIDS AND YOU KNOW IT. THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME EXPLAINING IT TO THEM.
GO TO THE COURTHOUSE, APPLY FOR A MARRIAGE LICENSE, DO IT. DO IT FOR YOUR KIDS.UNLESS ONE OF YOU IS ALREADY MARRIED, OR YOU TWO ARE RELATED.....
2006-09-11 14:37:34 · answer #10 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋