we fight so much, cultural differences...HELP!!! He is Indonesian, I am american
2006-09-11 14:08:36 · 17 answers · asked by Red0427 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, not unless u can back that feeling up with understanding, patience, communication, compromise, honesty, respect, trust and last but not least...commitment to each other, everyday, for the rest of your lives together.
2006-09-11 14:17:49 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Constant fighting in a marriage is like beating a child. The outcome will never be security, a sense of love and belonging. Remember, it takes two to fight. You don't have to fight. If you think about it, fighting never gets you where you want to be. Being right is often being alone. Just because you don't fight, doesn't make you weak. Just be yourself without excuses and try to support your husband in his wants. If he's not the man you can have a peaceful life with, then you might want to ask yourself what you're doing. But if you can't make it work with him, you'll likely take this problem to your next relationship. There's no free lunch. You might as well resolve it here.
Some advice: if you come from the point of view that he is ok just the way he is and he doesn't need to be different then perhaps you can see him in a new perspective and stop fighting. You'll wonder what you ever fought about. Conflict is differences that are not ok. Don't try to change the differences, let them be ok and let the differences remain. You'll have a whole new marriage.
2006-09-11 14:15:14 · answer #2 · answered by mamaloo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
didnt you 2 get to know each other before you married? there is so much more to marriage than just love, and some of those things should of been descussed before you you made such a important commitment to each other . but its not to late for you to communicate, fighting is no good, it only hurts feeling and bad feelings. maybe you could do some counciling. i dont know i just wish you 2 the best and hope you can work through this.
2006-09-11 14:36:19 · answer #3 · answered by moe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love includes many things, such as acceptance, communication, forgiveness... Yes, the marriage can last on "love alone", because love is all these things, and more. But if there's no communication, and no acceptance of the differences, then love itself breaks down, and so does the marriage. Sounds like it is true in your case.
2006-09-11 14:36:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I am going through a divorce and I will always love my husband. But my children and I cannot live with him any longer. Our problems are deeper than cultural differences. Have you thought of counseling? I believe the divorce rate is too high and people tend to end their marraiges too easily. Good Luck.
2006-09-11 14:25:46 · answer #5 · answered by galbee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i guess it depends.if u 2 r going to b 2gether than there has to be a happy medium you both have to understand each others culture if u want your relatonship to work.do some things from his and he needs to do some things from yours .my husband and i are from the same culture and we dont always get along either i am very open minded and will try anything once.he keeps to himslef and like the same thing over and over.no relationship is perfect and if someone said it is they are lying to you and themselfs.so think about what you do like about his culture and tell him you agree with that part of it and u will try to work on the rest.you both knew when you got together that you came from different cultures you both took that risk now try to make it work especially if u love him like you say you do .ITS WORTH IT.
2006-09-11 14:25:25 · answer #6 · answered by queen4clewis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In general, NO.
But when it comes to this kind of diversity, you both need to be as open as possible.
If you see your "discussion" leading to nothing but more fighting, stop right there.
If you can't seem to have a discussion in the first place, I say you ask a pro :)
2006-09-11 14:14:54 · answer #7 · answered by E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it was the foundation of the marriage, wasn't it? so it should last. once it's gone, so is the marriage.
what would be the sense of being together if you no longer love each other? better to live out your own separate lives.
2006-09-11 14:17:08 · answer #8 · answered by jewel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, unfortunately it can't. You have to be on the same page as far as what you expect out of the marriage, your future together, where you see yourselves in the future, kids, money and communication...and last but certainly not least, sex and intimacy!
2006-09-11 14:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no u need 2 have a friendship there a person u can share everything with love is good but u have to have all these other things
2006-09-11 14:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋