After a hard break up is it wise to still try to be around that person?

Question

I got a friend who got dumped by her first boyfriend. it has been a month since they broke up, and the guy has made it very clear they have no chance in the future. She says that she is still clinging to a hope that they will be together someday. She tries to put herself in situations where they will be together, and everytime she begs for him back and sinks deeper into depression.

Answer 1

sorry girl but no,i was in that situation,never beg,u can b friends but no begging,it makes u seem desperate,she needs to lay back,pamper herself for awhile and check out other guys,if i guy breaks up w/a girl he almost NEVER takes her back,she needs to totally simmer down,shes making the mistake i did,it only ended up w/me losing their friendships w/no chance of getting back together.jus think of all the thigns she dosn't liek about him n find the opposite in other guys.good luck

Answer 2

No, your friend needs a break before her boyfriend hangs around her again. It's not as if her boyfriend should avoid her, but he shouldn't always try and look for her. I suggest that he doesn't hang around him until she's totally cleared up and feels a lot better - maybe even when she has a new boyfriend. Break-ups seem so hard, especially when the "dumpee" still wants to be together with their ex. It's very stressful to be broken up with someone you care about, especially when it's a romantic relationship and it varies of how much time it takes for them to move on. So if I were you, I'd tell your friend's boyfriend to not hang around for a while until she cools down from all her stress.

Hope she feels better soon!

- The Cake Demolisher

Answer 3

Obviously your friend has low self-esteem if she can't let go willingly. True, the pain doesn't go away in a day, but she's only hurting herself by clinging to a relationship that would never happen again. And begging him is only going to keep making it worse. Why is she begging? My motto: what one won't do, the next one will. She needs to find someone new so her ex will know she does not need him

Answer 4

Oh, I can feel the pain she is going through. But am I the only one that is thinking it is now self inflicting? There is nothing worse than self inflicted pain because you can not escape it. Wow, I wish I could give you some shred of hope here but she and she only can decide when she has tortured herself enough. As a friend I would tell her she is only torturing herself and she really needs to give herself some time to heal. Remind her of the oh so cliched saying of letting something go....and it coming back...only in this case accepting it never was hers in the first place but what she is doing will for all time drive him away.
It is so sad and the pain is so real and physical that she can not breath at times. Anyone who has loved and lost knows this pain and that truly only time will make it better.
I will pray for strength for you to help her and for clarity for her to see what she is doing is not helping.

Answer 5

She is stupid. I swear sometimes I wish there would be a law that will alow some sort of restraining order for someone you just broke up with.
Breaking up its a nice way to say: Seriosly, I dont want to see you, hear from you or be anywhere near you.... maybe in the future but for now and probably the next months could you dissapear?
Some people just dont get it

Answer 6

Under these conditions it's not wise to be around the person because all she is doing is setting herself up for future disappointment and preventing herself the time to heal so she can be able to move on and eventually be happy. Of course when she's so close to the situtation and so much wants to be with him it's going to be tough for her to see that. Good luck.

Answer 7

I think that if the situation was a break up ,best to just let it go.
if it was meant to be, they will find themselves back in each others arms, we all meet people for reason ,and sometimes just for a season, lifetime, sometimes we meet because of a lesson and other times for life,though it be a friend or lover,spouse,or just someone that teaches us valuable lessons in our own lives. Love is beautiful when you give all you have even if it ends in tears enjoy and remember those lessons ,but do not ever hold hatred it will kill you inside.

Answer 8

I hate to say it, but too many times women think that just by getting near them and "bumping" into the old flame that they'll find them desirable again. Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is that they're either just searching to add a little more drama into their lives and they ultimately just look really desperate. It is a sad thing for anyone to lose who you love, but if they don't love you, you can't make them.

I know it is hard, but you've just got to move on and learn more about yourself before you try again.

Answer 9

Where is the PRIDE!!!! What does he have to do to keep her from making a fool out of herself.What if he took her back,married her,had kids,does she think a loser like this they would stay together? I once was told marry someone that loves you more than you love them.Think about that for awhile.Hurt and heartbreak can last a lifetime and we only have one life to get it right and be happy.No Two people can love each other equally.

Answer 10

Since there is no hope for a reconciliation, she should get counseling. She doesn't want to go through life thinking "if I had just done this or that, he would still be with me." I know a lot of people like that and believe me, they don't go on with their life.