To be the one that wears the pants in the marrage. Iam very opinionated i know what i want and the person i married isnt the same person i met and i fell in love with. so iam basiclly iam at the point where all i do is yell at him. but on the other hand it seems to me that he does sh!! on purpose to get on my nerves.
2006-09-11 12:40:03 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Excuse me! i have already experianced the break down from him and others and it sounds like to me that men are just scared of an independant woman!!!!!! Were do all the REAL men hide???
2006-09-11 12:49:36 · update #1
Wear those pants baby! And tell everyone else to go to hell. I'm opinionated as well and that's how it will always be, deal with it or get to steppin. Doesn't bother me any.
2006-09-11 13:10:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 4⤋
Wow, I'm an independent woman too but I don't resort to cutting my husband's balls off just to get him to make his own decisions. He is afterall, still "the man" and u yelling and screaming at him isn't going to help your situation. The way I look at it, he's probably thinking to himself that you're the one already doing everything ...so why should he have to?
Why not be more proactive and actually help him help himself make some decisions without nagging at him all the time? There is such a thing as communicating and effectively getting your pt across without disrespecting his manhood in the process.
2006-09-11 20:11:48 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRY MARRIAGE COUNSELING
from one independent woman to another, you sound really snotty. You are NOT better than him, and you know what, he probably thinks YOU have changed and are not the woman he married. You need to learn how to communicate with each other, because it sounds like you are yelling at him a lot, and there is nothing productive about this.
There is nothing wrong with being assertive, but there IS something wrong with STEPPING all over your husband. You should be equals, no matter what your personalities are...
2006-09-11 20:19:01 · answer #3 · answered by KB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody wears the pants now that most families are two income. You have to work with your partner to achieve dreams, hopefully if the two of you make a plan together to make both of your dreams happen you will be on the same page. Also stop yelling at him, he probably does do sh## to get on your nerves, then the real issue never has to be addressed.
2006-09-11 19:47:07 · answer #4 · answered by tiger30 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you're doing has nothing to do with being independent. You are only financially independent. Otherwise your false idea of independece or strength is actually nothing more than about being b*tchy, selfish and abusive. Don't mistake independence with your constant need for control. Not everything he does is about pissing you off. Not everything is about you.
You obviously don't respect him. You probably don't respect most people in general. So leave him so that he can find someone who respects him and treats him well and you can find someone who'll stand up to you. Being strongly opinionated and constantly insisting that it's your way or no way is not a good foundation for any type of relationship.
I hope you don't have children until you get some professional help for your attitude and condescending ways. Otherwise you won't be able to be a good mother and your children will suffer for it. Because right now you sound like a nightmare who can't deal with her own flaws and therefore requires perfection from everyone else around her, making it way more difficult for anyone to live with you than it is for you to live with them.
You have to learn to compromise and to want other people around you to be happy too. The world does not and cannot revolve around you. Please get some help because right now you're making yourself and other people around you miserable and it doesn't have to be that way. The way you go about dealing with people takes a lot away from your good characteristics, leading to yourself as well as those around you missing out.
2006-09-11 20:32:58 · answer #5 · answered by Purple 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sure, what ever makes your marriage work, you could say that my mother in law wears the pants in their marriage, and this seems to be something I hear from her a lot but I would also suggest that you try not to let the small stuff bug you, pick your battles, that is what I did to keep my husband from annoying the daylights out of me all the time.
I would also suggest couples therapy, or some kind of marriage seminar. Good Luck
2006-09-11 20:22:32 · answer #6 · answered by cyunos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long til your husband up and leaves you and files for D I V O R C E..... I't fine to have an opinion, but you are being abusive and controlling to your husband and I pity him. I think that he is probably thinking "who the hell did I really marry" What gives you the right to yell at him and say that he does stuff just to get on your nerves. I think you need to grow up lady and get a life, on that dosnt revolve around kicking your man in the balls and giving him every reason and excuse to step out on you. You sound like the average "nightmare" YOU NEED TO TAKE A DR PHIL CHILL PILL AND GROW UP.....you sound way to imature to be married( not to mention disrespectful)
2006-09-11 20:11:51 · answer #7 · answered by Linda 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There's a big difference between an independent woman and a B@##h. Take a look in the mirror and have a serious talk with yourself. Then go apologize to that poor husband of yours.....
2006-09-11 20:13:29 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want him to be the same man then quit crushing him. Build his ego up and self esteem, see the man he becomes again. You are his partner. If he is getting screamed at that he is a piece of sh*t. You are shattering the man who loves you. He is devastated and destroyed. As far as a good man, you have one who loves you to be putting up with you treating him this way.Trust me give it one month of complimenting him, building him up and showing that you appreciate even the smallest of things. He will become again the man you fell in love with. Perhaps counseling would be a wise thing, before you call it quits.
2006-09-11 20:05:07 · answer #9 · answered by galbee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A marriage is supposed to be a partnership! 50/50. Maybe you should try to not be so opinionated. Yelling doesn't accomplish anything but hurt. See a doctor and get something for your nerves if they're so bad you have to blame your husband. I wouldn't be surprised if he leaves you soon.
2006-09-11 20:01:45 · answer #10 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what...maybe hes not doing sh!t because your always yelling at him. You are mentally and abusing him. Im sure you dont realize it but you are. Trust me I was in a relationship with a guy who acted like your saying you do. I adored him, loved him but in the end it just wasn't enough - I could not make him happy. Please step back and think about things, hes probably the same man you fell in love with. The drama is just getting the best of you. Be the bigger person and stop the yelling, it only shows that you are weak. Good Luck!
2006-09-11 19:54:47 · answer #11 · answered by Kit Katt 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋