I just completely admire all the gay relationships I hear that are lasting for years and years. That is something I feel I have been missing in my life, but I have yet to meet my soul mate. How have you made it work? What stuggles have you gone through from within your relationship and the society around you?
2006-09-11 12:07:00 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I don't know...I just know that we seem right together...not that we're together all the time...but we can sit side by side in a car for 8 hours and never argue(that was a major factor on vacation:))...It's not that I don't see other men that I want to have sex with..I just balance what I have against what I have to lose. When I was really critically ill for about 6 weeks in the hospital this man came and sat by my bedevery day --all day (even for days when I didn't know who he was)...he forfeited his salary,washed me, fed me cleaned up after me..even washed my hair for me while I was still in bed...he gave up everything....How could I ever not love him?...Its been 20 years.
And from what I've been listening to you for months on here...you strike me as a relationship type of person...I think you are...I think it'll happen.
2006-09-11 12:52:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
To find one's soul-mate is perfect. I didn't know I was a lesbian until I met my Best Beloved. We've been together for 25 going on 26 years now. Sure it's been rough in places but we keep on loving. first it was my mother-in-law (I never thought I'd actually have a steroetypical mother in law) who kept telling my darling how all I was doing was mooching off of her and that she should get rid of me...for the last twenty years...sigh. I don't handle money well and did get us into a couple large financial binds. Baby now keeps the checkbook. She drives semi and we both wish she could come home more. The cell phone gets used a lot. Society really hasn't bothered with us. We're pretty quiet yet vocal when we need to be. We're a solid loving monogamous couple and when faced with that most people back down. The ones that don't can bite my furry little butt. We think we've lasted this long not just because of love, but because of communication. We talk a lot. Not just about us but about everything. Communication is very important. When we do fight we don't do it over the phone. We fight in person and we hash it out before we go to sleep in the evening. Going to bed on anger is one of the worst things we found. I hope you do find your soul mate. I couldn't live without mine. Blessings my dear.
2006-09-11 12:44:26 · answer #2 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well - always speaking for my self- being gay is obviously quite harder than being straight. Also there are not as many gay people as there are straight out there. If you are a person who is not into the gay scene,not going to gay clubs and bars to find someone, you are more likely to find it hard to meet someone who:
1. is gay
2. you really like him/her
So when it happens, people appreciate what they have found and they try harder to make it work, harder than straight people who have a wide variety of choice and can experiment and also do things in public. Also, by being gay, just a day out can be quite frustrating since you cant be sweet and intimate with your lover, which actually makes you "miss" him/her.
Of course there is the other pole, where gay people have different partners every night and they dont care about relationships at all....but most of my gay friends are more into relationships and romance.
So I guess, in order to find someone equivelent to what a straight person can find is more rare...Because more factors can play a role to it...family, society, public image etc. So when it works, it is great and it has to be kept that way. Thats the way I think and my mentality. I have found true love, and I think I am the luckiest person on earth, and I know that it is really hard to find a person like my partner out there. So I appreciate it and make it work, and it is mutual. Also, a very important factor is that people of the same sex have more interests in common. A straight couple can understand each other, but it is more likely for a guy to like "football" and the girl to like "shopping" if you know what I mean. And last but not least, being able to understand and not argue over silly things..I never argue with my boyfriend and we know our likes and dislikes and we respect each other, and I dont think we will ever fight since everything is crystal clear.
I wish you all the best and I am sure you will find what you are looking for.
Take care :)
2006-09-11 12:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by Nostromo 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Stop being selfish and self-obsessed. Just joking in a way... but many people who say they want a long term relationship are also totally unwilling to compromise - and that is the basis of any relationship. Physical attraction and sex only hold a relationship together for a short period; then you have to build on common interests and views, friendships and history.
If you don't want to compromise, or you get bored when sex and physical attributes stop being the primary focus, then you will not be able to build a long-term relationship.
2006-09-11 12:59:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been in a relationship for over 23 years...and it is day to day work! Compromise, eating your words, an apology when you think you are owed one, but give one instead, laughing together, common goals, more values in common than not, and the sex doesn't hurt, either. I think that what does most relationships in is jealousy...that one has to go by the wayside relatively early if a relationship is going to survive. Security in oneself is the best bet..when either can stand very well on their own, the twosome is fierce! When one is needy, the relationship is headed for choppy water. Good luck
2006-09-11 12:22:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION!!! We talk about EVERYTHING! Sex, what to eat, what to wear, who needs more time to get ready to go out, etc...And I think there is a lot to be said about being with someone of your own gender and being able to just UNDERSTAND what they are going through and the fact that people of the same sex have a lot of the same thoughts and feelings. I mean, you can have this in a straight relationship, but with someone of the same sex, you can REALLY put yourself in their shoes, and feel what they feel more often. I never had this kind of understanding with a man, and I just communicate so much better with a woman.
2006-09-11 12:32:28 · answer #6 · answered by Robin 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it just happens, even when you don't want it to. That's how it was for me. I had decided I didn't want any long term relationships. But having so much in common with Her and her persistence wore me down, thankfully since we're well on the way to our five year anniversary.
Tammi Dee
2006-09-11 14:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by tammidee10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk. Listen. Don't base your relationship on sex. Be there for each other especially when things are bad. Back each other up.
2006-09-11 13:37:42 · answer #8 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a mystery that I too fail to understand.
2006-09-11 12:53:31 · answer #9 · answered by grumpyfiend 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you take relationships one day ata time.and don't force it.if the person likes you to!you'll know.
cinderellamirage
2006-09-11 13:19:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋