Do married men expect their wives to look perfect? How do they view their flaws, like cellulite or extra belly flab from pregnancy, or wrinkles from age? Do men secretly want to be with supermodels or perfect, younger women? Do married men love their wives despite their flaws? Do they fantasize about other (younger, more beautiful) women while making love to their wives? I know it's not as much of an issue for women because we are less visual. I personally don't mind my husband's flaws, but I wonder if my husband would rather be with someone else. I'm approaching 40 and take good care of myself, but there's only so much one can do after having a few kids (and no money for plastic surgery). Is there any hope?
2006-09-11 12:04:34 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men are very definitely visually oriented, but not at all the way you think. Our image of you has very little to do with what you see in the mirror. At first, all we see is the outside; the physical. But as time goes on our image gets colored by memories, emotions and thoughts. Warm memories warm our image. Wonderful feelings soften it. Over time, we build years or decades of this. Your image in our eyes is colored by all the life we've shared with you. Good memories and shared joys brighten the image. Harsh times and bitter thoughts darken it. A critical, demanding, cruel woman becomes ugly, no matter what her body looks like. A loving, caring, joyful woman becomes beautiful. Again, no matter what her body looks like.
This is why an old man can look at an old woman and think she's the most beautiful woman on the planet. He's not being kind, and he's not being blind. He literally sees her that way. Because his image of her is, by then, so little of the physical, and so much of the emotional.
If you've spent a lifetime making great memories, shared love and shared life, your husband will see you as wonderful; regardless of the wrinkles. I doubt he'll even notice.
2006-09-11 13:05:20 · answer #1 · answered by antirion 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Each man is different, although I can so that a husband who is in love with his wife won't matter what will happen to her body. Yes, a young, fresh, tight young body will look good on the arm of any man. However...
If a man doesn't recognize the flaws of his wife to begin with, there should be no marriage. No man is perfect nor is any woman.
Pregnancy is 9 months of vomiting, heartburn, and being uncomfortable. After that much discomfort, we have to endure labor. If a husband didn't respect a woman for doing that alone, he's not worth the time of day.
If a husband fantasizes, that is the business of the couple. It's not ours.
If your husband would rather be with someone else, he would tell you. If you are worried, ask him.
I am about to get married and had a kid 11 months ago. My fiance could care less about how I look, as long as I am healthy. A supermodel isn't healthy--someone who believes in herself is. It doesn't matter what size of clothes or how much make-up a woman wears; it's what is in her heart that does matter. True beauty comes from KNOWING that you're gorgeous and KNOWING that your husband doesn't have to validate you to make you feel good about yourself.
2006-09-11 12:09:35 · answer #2 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough.........men should love their wives unconditionally and some do. However, to avoid the wandering eye, I suggest women take care of themselves (physically) and try new stuff in and out of the bedroom to keep it interesting. Remember most men have huge sex drives far after ours have dwindled down. It takes alot of effort to make a good marriage great.
2006-09-11 12:09:05 · answer #3 · answered by honeyinthelexus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just asked my husband all your questions. :) Don't know if I got a straight answer about fantasies during intercourse, but he said he would definitely NOT want to be married to a supermodel. Men have their own insecurities, too.... I don't think married guys pay attention to extra inches here and there. I think the average guy would probably be happy if your hair was combed and you brushed your teeth and got dressed in clothes that fit. :)
2006-09-11 12:12:29 · answer #4 · answered by bibliophile31 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife is still beautiful and sexy as all get out. Now if she would just put out once in a while I wouldnt be racking up so many points on here
2006-09-11 12:49:22 · answer #5 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhm it all depends on the man. I love my wife, in fact i adore her. She has given me two beautiful children and I love her body, even though she thinks she's fat after she had our 18 month old. I don't ever fantazize being with other woman because she gives me what i need sexually, mentally and physically. We are very happily married.
2006-09-11 12:07:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh good grief. You are 40 and you are thinking like this? Of course men fantasize but about their wife. If you are worried start working out and spice up your life.
G.G.
2006-09-11 12:06:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
this is something my husband and i have talked about,he says he loves me no matter what,we except each other as we are,but their are men that want the perfect wife and there is no such thing.
2006-09-11 12:07:52 · answer #8 · answered by nanny2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my wife was beautiful in all ways, regardless of the weight she gained from having a child. her personality was beautiful and everyone loved her!
2006-09-11 12:06:40 · answer #9 · answered by City slicker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh man if I answer this one I will get into big trouble...lol
2006-09-11 13:12:11 · answer #10 · answered by Wicked Wytch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋