yeah takr the p i s s out of me if you want i need a laugh
2006-09-11 11:55:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Black tarmac and red tarmac having a drink in a pub when a lump of green tarmac walks in. The red tarmac dives under the table and black tarmac says "What's up with you?"
"See that green tarmac that just came in?" says red tarmac, "He's a bleedin' cycle-path!!!"
2006-09-11 12:00:41 · answer #1 · answered by blank 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One. The President looks at the Vice President, chuckles, and says, "You know, I could throw a $1000 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."
The Vice President shrugs and says, "Well, I could throw 10 $100 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Not to be outdone, the Secretary of Defense says, "Of course, then, I could throw 100 $10 bills out the window and make a hundred people happy."
The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, "Such arrogant asses back there. Hell, I could throw the three of them out the window and make 56 million people really happy."
2 days ago
2006-09-11 19:03:39 · answer #2 · answered by westgaliberty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A stupid joke????
There was a newly married couple and the new husband was very niave and shy so after the wedding when all the guests had gone they went to their hotel room but were quite tired. the bride went into the bathroom to take off her makeup and loosen her hair and generally get ready for bed and her husband.
the husband was very shy so quickly got undressed and got into bed. The bride comes out of the bathroom and gets into bed anticipating what was to follow. the couple lay in bed for about an hour and nothing happens so the bride says...."Jimmy come over to this side of the bed" the bridegroom gets out of bed and walks all the way round the bed and gets in on the other side. They both lay there again...doing nothing for another hour or so. The bride again says "Jimmy come on this side of the bed!". Again the groom gets out of bed and walks all the way round the bed and gets in on the other side of the bed. He wonders while he is doing this why his bride wants him to keep changing places but he is a quiet guy and says nothing. Another hour goes by and the same thing happens...he gets out and walks round the bed patiently and gets in on the other side of the bed. the bride by this time is fed up and again asks him to come to her side of the bed. Just as the groom is about to get out of the bed and walk round the bride says to him..."No Jimmy not like that! Come across me"....so the groom tries to cross over his bride and when he straddles her she grabs him round the neck and says....."Jimmy...please do something funny to me" Jimmy then says "Ok hunny......oooowooo oooowwooooo""
Sorry its a bt stupid and difficult to explain on here. Hope it made you laugh and not say aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!
2006-09-11 19:10:07 · answer #3 · answered by beyond paradise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to Ann Landers (help columnist in the states), what are two things you should never do in the bedroom?
Answer: Point and laugh.
2006-09-11 19:24:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
old mother hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor doggie a bone, when she bent over the dog jumped up her and gave her a bone of his own.
what sex position produces the ugliest babies ???? ask yo mama
2006-09-11 19:05:25 · answer #5 · answered by mentor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, i heard a joke tonight (may be a bit harsh, but don't shoot the messenger!)
Steve Erwin released his own brand of sun lotion. It had to be removed from the shelves, cause it doesn't protect you from the rays.
2006-09-11 19:14:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
(in denial) is an Egyptian mummy who died last week and has gone for a swim.
2006-09-11 19:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im a useless twit who cant make people laugh.... sorry cant help lol
weide that made me laugh so dont know about u lol.
2006-09-11 19:00:38 · answer #8 · answered by alan h 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
awwww
2006-09-11 19:00:27 · answer #9 · answered by Petal62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know what "PETA" stands for?
PEOPLE EATING TASTY ANIMALS!
2006-09-11 19:01:20 · answer #10 · answered by the_saint1963 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋