I've been working with children for quite some time and I support the use of logical consequences. With this type of consequence, you usually search for something that would teach them. A simple way of looking at this is finding a punishment that will fit the crime. What are some of the logical consequences that you use for your children?
2006-09-11 11:16:33 · 7 answers · asked by rwedifferent 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
This is a complex question. You have to understand the child, because different children have different economies. Once you understand how the child goes about ascribing worth to events then you can evaluate the percieved worth of the "crime".
In order to make it a break even you can find a consequence that equals the magnitude of the crime. Thats not a winning strategy, because the cost to you of implementing a consequence can be an incentive to them.
I have found that putting an integer multiple in front of the cost helps. There are "high crimes" lying, theft, defiance, hitting that are an instant 2x multiplier to cost for each instance of the crime. If they lie, and then lie about lying, and get caught... its a cumulative 4x multiplier. Once understood this significantly reduces issue.
The hard part, the complex part, is really being connected enough with the child to understand the economy. If you are that connected often the child isnt acting out as much anyway, but you have to spend time and energy getting the data, and then time and energy understanding what it means, then time and energy testing to verify it, then time and energy tracking how the childs economy changes over time.
I know of situations where a child who has stolen money from a parent is brought with their valuables to a pawn shop where the valuables are pawned to repay the theft, then the child is given the paperwork with which they may be able to, after earning money, pay off the pawn and get their items back. It gives an immediate consequence and loss. It is, in my opinion, a much better option than the parent being "paid back" slowly. I think that is how you teach a child they can steal, and get away with it.
Friends can be also a powerful economic incentive. Grounding doesnt always work, but a well-engineered peer-pressure reorientation can be powerful.
Everything I have seen says: Understand! Understand! Understand! If you want to be effective then UNDERSTAND them. When you understand them then you can act from a position of power. When you DO NOT understand then you can attempt to act, and have it fizzle or even catastrophically backfire. Its a lot like international politics that way.
2006-09-11 11:36:41 · answer #1 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion. There are times that logic just doesn't work. You need to learn to say "no"--I mean "no" end of discussion. If not, you could be there 2 weeks discussing the issue. I had a large home made paddle on top of the frig. and 99% of the time it was a threat but I did use it if necessary. I know "You don't do that" Well, I did and I would do it again--and today my children would not criticize what I did. Never. And not just to save my feelings. Enough said.
2006-09-11 18:34:25 · answer #2 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they lie abed to late to catch regular transportation to school they have to call and pay for a taxi.
Chores have deadlines, as in the garbage has to be taken out, or the laundry started, before supper. So the logical consequence of not getting the chore done is that their supper is not on the table.
If they are out beyond curfew then the overtime is deducted, ie. they have to come home that much earlier, the next time they go out.
2006-09-11 18:33:56 · answer #3 · answered by bonipin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most wrong actions lose them Cell, TV, and Computer privileges, donation of the week's allowance to the Church, or an assignment writing an essay on their actions and what they will do to change their behavior in the future. Communication is key at their age an to remove them from it for a little bit will give them time to learn from their mistakes and focus on school work.
2006-09-11 18:27:25 · answer #4 · answered by Sirius Black 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loss of privileges seems to work well I think. No phone, No internet, No TV, In earlier from hanging out with friends, NO hanging out with friends, Grounding them. Extra chores. Those seem to work well if you have a affirmed yourself as a parent they can respect.
2006-09-11 18:23:47 · answer #5 · answered by TBONEZAP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should hit them. It works in many countries!
I'm serious.
2006-09-11 18:20:01 · answer #6 · answered by . 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just slap them
2006-09-11 18:21:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋