This is a poem I just wrote. I know the layout is wrong, becuase it's just a rough draft. But tell me what ya'll think of it......
The Unforgotten Love.
I thought I was over her,
I thought I was threw,
I thought I was happy,
I wished I was,
Honestly I wanted to be,
Deep in my mind and heart,
I truely wanted to be,
But she is all I can think of,
Why can't I get her off my mind,
Why can't I just let go of her,
Like so many in the past,
I knew we weren't ment to be,
But I truely wanted us to,
I have tryied to get her off my mind,
I've tryied all I can think of,
But no matter how happy,
They use to make me,
My mind keeps comeing back to her,
Her wonderful smell,
Her beautiful smile,
Her astonishing beauty,
Her extermly soft skin,
Are burned into my mind and heart,
I can't forget that she once was mine,
My heart doesn't want to,
But my mind wants to move on.
2006-09-11 11:10:07 · 13 answers · asked by sawboy_89_3 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
It's a raw jewel. Polish it, now. You need to improve your grammar and spelling, and work on rhythm and melody to make your message sound more piercing. Otherwise, you'll have just emotions gushing out in a piece of paper. You have the potential to write awesome poems, get to work.
2006-09-11 11:41:44 · answer #1 · answered by Lucy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a very good poem with lots of emotion, anyone who has been in a similar situation can identify with the author. Great work! The only issue I had is that there are some spelling/grammar errors. It should be through instead of threw, truly instead of truely, meant instead of ment, tried instead of tryied, used instead of use, coming instead of comeing, and extremely instead of extermly. Otherwise it's awesome!
2006-09-11 11:21:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You right now get a copyright via putting Copyright(the date)(the call of the author). All Rights Reserved----------------------on the backside of the piece of writing. What you do not have is the piece registered on the Library Of Congress, so as that a thief does not scouse borrow the piece as their very own, or extremely substitute the wording and declare it as their very own, and get away with it. If it relatively is registered you could look after your authorship, and watch them take the plagiariser away. during the snailmail one poem copyright may be registered for around $60.00--sure it relatively is precise---it is not actual low-fee.you additionally can pass electronically over the information superhighway for form of $35.00 a poem. Now right here is the area i'm constructive you're attracted to. you could submit a team of poems under a single call for much less money, and it relatively is (precious) much less money. There are additionally registering agencies beside the Library Of Congress, which would be extra low-fee. i'd google the Library for finished info. additionally, do no longer use a foul (daughters) auh mans copyright--(sending the piece addressed to your self as a fashion to get a postmark on the envelope and then no longer commencing it up--as a fashion to coach date of authorship) those do no longer postpone in court docket.--besides, till your daughter is Roberta Frost, and you be attentive to the poems are golden, you will desire to think of approximately which of them you relatively need to guard. If there is of undertaking somebody will pay to print the poem or poems then sure via all potential sign in them. in any different case it relatively is sort of pricy. besides, desire This enables------------william
2016-09-30 14:26:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice
2006-09-11 11:48:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are MOONSTRUCK how lovely....I know the feeling,,it hurts, does'nt it ? It is life, enjoy it or hate it, it'll come back again, to hunt you.But next time around, you play with somebody, remember the hurt.As for your Poem it is not unusual to be loved by someone.
2006-09-11 11:25:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SAWBOY, THAT WAS A WONDERFUL POEM. YOU SOUND LIKE YOUR'E HURTING INSIDE AND I'M VERY SORRY, BUT AS TIME GOES ON THINGS WILL GET BETTER BELIEVE ME I KNOW. SMILE SMILE SMILE IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER.
2006-09-11 11:16:26 · answer #6 · answered by tinkerbell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
country songs aren't poems.
but writing is a good way to deal with emotions.
2006-09-11 11:14:07 · answer #7 · answered by phalsephasod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice poem. Hope you can move on.
2006-09-11 11:13:37 · answer #8 · answered by Cactus Dan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats really nice.
2006-09-11 11:17:31 · answer #9 · answered by jumpingjellybean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think this is a really good rough draft dude but you should spellcheck your stuff.
2006-09-11 11:17:15 · answer #10 · answered by normal_cody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋