I left for excellent reason for my health and sanity. I was mentally abuse and tried of it. I been marry for 20 years. not very easy to get over but everyday I pray for guidance of this. I keep asking myself why why did he do these things to me. WHY?
1. take furniture out of the house
2. didn't want to pay mostly house bills
3. lack of communication/
4. not share things he bought, always it mine.
5. treating me (wive) like nothing. just why didn't he leave, why could he had walk out I left amd took my kids with me. I was inconvience. then He moved in back of me in another apartment and pays full of everything for himself. He could care less about his familty. I should let my feeling show but it hurt badly. I need some strong advice about his situation. please be serious in your reply no matter what you have to say.
thanks
2006-09-11 11:06:19 · 12 answers · asked by babymadison61904 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not really sure there is a question there but I'll respond. I was married to someone similar. Not as long, but I know what you are going through. I thought after I left my life was over. But I had the power within myself to pick myself up. Start over; to reinvent myself and become a strong individual, someone that no one could ever knock down again.
I met and fell in love with someone again, married him, wrote a book about my struggles in life and my illness, published it, started a business of our own and so on... Give yourself the courage to get back on your feet! Without your past there is no future. Use it to build a better one. You'll be happy you did.
2006-09-11 11:18:24 · answer #1 · answered by frecklzface 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all hun u did right... his reasons only he knows maybe he just was not raised right who cares...the most important people right now r u n the kids....the hell with him.
get into counceling they will help u get over the rough spots and after 20 years u need 2 get all this **** out in the open. u will never know his true reasons 4 how he treated u n why he did not just leave, but that is not the important thing the important thing is ur sanity n the rest of u life.
life goes on.... trust me 11 years the first marriage. 13 years later I am in a good stable 10 year relationship (yep Im still a little leary about marriage but hey we all have our little hang ups lol)
u will survive this but only if U work at it. and getting outside help like a councelor gives u so much ability 2 work this all out n get a fresh opinion. its hard 2 get the fact that its not all ur fault out of ur head trust me though it was not all ur fault, just like it was not all his fault but u until u relize that u cannot move on.
good luck n stay strong u made the right decision 4 urself now all u have 2 do is BELIEVE IN URSELF
2006-09-11 11:15:37 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that he was trying very hard to get you to move out. It also sounds like he was turning into a very selfish and vindictive person. Not only did he want you to leave, but for some reason he wanted to make you suffer at the same time. I would guess that's why he moved into the apartment directly in back of yours, so he could continue to punish you for whatever reason. Unless you don't want to uproot your kids from there schools and there friends, I wouldn't think twice about moving out of town and away from him. Possibly even consider a restraining order if he's really getting out of control. I would consider counseling for you and your kids. If you can't afford it, go to your local church and talk to the pastor. They are always happy to offer help and suggestions. Good luck to you, honey, and God Bless you!
2006-09-11 11:22:23 · answer #3 · answered by kevin_p0 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all i give you MUCH support for standing up to this poor,unacceptable behavior and seperating you and your children from him. I want to suggest you get into a support group as well as couseling for you to stay strong and not to feel guilt or to question your decision. It has probably been going on for a long time and you have just had it. Your children need to witness what is healthy in a relationship and what is not! You are their role model as to what a relationship is to be.I'm sure it would break your heart to see them going through a similar situation when they are grown.
I wish you much love and support and hope you will seek the proper support and continue to pray for strength and guidance. God bless you and your family. ;)
2006-09-11 11:23:57 · answer #4 · answered by Michele S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to be depressed. Think of "all" you have been through with him and that will help you to know you have done the right thing. Hold your head high and let him be "that" person he is and you be the person you are. Love your kids, take care of them and soon one day there will be someone in your life who will treat you and your children right. He moved in behind you to irritate you. Don't let him. Go on with your life like he is not there. I know, it's easier said than done, but with people like that, you just have to ignore them. I feel for your children as well as you. They don't understand why daddy is the way he is. You will be left to explain it to them. One day, one day, he WILL regret what he has done to you and those children. If you can, get some counseling to help you through this. It always helps to talk to a bias person. He will get his just rewards in the future, so don't worry.
2006-09-11 11:20:42 · answer #5 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt feel guilty, hovever you might consider therapy for yourself to help you deal with this guilt. You might also consider moving away from him maybe a new town. You didnt say if kids were envolved but you do have to consinder them also. If not a factor "get out of Dodge" and dont leave a fowarding address.
2006-09-11 11:11:44 · answer #6 · answered by mo_nut53 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you did the first step leaving someone that was bringing you down. It will get better just take care of yourself and your family and be strong , now you can live your life do what you never could do. You will overcome this like they say god never builds a mountain you can't cliimb.
2006-09-11 11:13:38 · answer #7 · answered by annie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put that joker out of your mind and move on.If he can do the bill thing now he could have done it before. I do hope there are no children to consider that could slow down things. I am sorry
2006-09-11 11:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by Sugar 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you drove him out, did you gain a bunch of weight or nag him to death? were you a good wife or just sit there in a filthy house, no job, complaining all the time. sounds like he had to escape
2006-09-11 11:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by John 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should of left him a long time ago .
you should be happy he's gone but i bet in 4 month or less you will be back with him .
2006-09-11 11:13:52 · answer #10 · answered by easymoney 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋