Help Im a Married Woman who recently had sex with a married man?

Question

The other man is a coworker we known each for about 3 years and have been innocently flirty online, my company transfered me out of state but we kept in touch, since we still work for the same company recently i went back to my old site for some training, (and i will continue to do that probably every 3 months), when we saw each other we got very happy and planned to meet after work, we ended up in a hotel and had sex, not very good sex, he orgasmed too fast, i wasn't at all satisfy, it was kind of and akward moment, before this i have never cheated on my husband (i been marry for 8 years, and him 4), and he claims that he never cheated either. In the last 3 years aside from the flirting we had had a nice friendship, fun and stuff, but now after we had sex things are just akward, we haven't spoke to each other (it was about a week ago), i left without saying goodbye, and now we are both online and haven't said a word to each other, but i want to talk to him, please advise

Answer 1

The best course may be to talk to him and acknowledge the awkwardness of the situation. For the sake of the friendship that you did have, apologize for ending things badly. Unless you must work together, it is probably best to end the friendship in the most gracious way possible.

As for your marriage, I think you need to ask yourself why you strayed. Was there a need that your husband wasn't meeting? If so, what can you do have have that need met at home? If you don't fix the problem, this may occur again. Next, you have to decide if you tell your husband. If you don't tell him, can you live with that? These are some tough questions. I wish you good luck.

In closing, I feel the need to apologize for others that seem think this is a forum for judging and chastizing others. This situation is difficult enough without the others making rude, degrading comments towards you. Ignore these ignorant people. They obviously have some serious issues if they must drag others down. Sadly, this is probably the only way they may experience a feeling of self-worth, however false it may be.

Answer 2

I don't think I need to steer you toward the guilt end of this, you no doubt have that covered. It was a mistake. A big one and not one that needs to be repeated If you want to and can remain friends with this man, that can never ever come close to happening again. I am not speaking as someone who has cheated because I have not but I know a married man who has. He felt horrible, it was a one night thing and it never happened again. People make mistakes. Don't let this one ruin your marriage even if it ruins a friendship. You only know so much about this man. You know you've never done it before, that doesn't mean positively that he hasn't. If this was as big a mistake for him as it was for you, good. I think you should talk to him and get everything understood clearly between the two of you. If things don't work out for the friendship, walk away. Your husband is worth more than that particular relationship.

Answer 3

Telling him only hurts him and help you with your guilty conscience so pray the he can forgive you, so with that being said you need to leave this guy
alone. Fix what ever made you cheat in the first place, I know you didn't say anything was wrong within your marriage. But I can't believe it was just the simple & easy for you to end up in a hotel room cheating, when things are fine between you & your husband. Also a good idea is to get tested for STD's just in case. Last thing you want is him to find out about your affair because he gets a check up and comes back positive to find out you gave him something from the choice that you made.

Answer 4

so let me get this straight you are upset cuz you can't talk to this guy now after you had bad sex and cheated on your husband
you've got to be the most cold hearted piece of white trash that has ever been born. What about your hubby ? don't you give a crap about what you have done? do you even care? you cheated on your husband your mate for life and you are pissed off cuz he came to soonand didn't get you off your special !!!! please do us men a favor and go play on the freeway you get 20 points if you get hit by a semi Wow wouldn't your hubby love to know that you didn't have a good **** fest while away, well there is always next time you go there, may be he can bring some Friends alone to do as well so you can be satisfied

Answer 5

You're asking strangers' opinions because you're looking for some empty validation? You're going to get the opposite from me. I hate women like you, who betray the Sisterhood! Sure, it took a cheating bastard, but we're talking about YOUR commitment here. First, there is no "innocent flirting online" when YOU'RE MARRIED. If it's so innocent, why didn't your husband know about it? Second, the guy was a pro: NOT his first time. Third, you're too selfish and needy to even care. Fourth, get a vibrator that plays this recording: "You're so sexy. If you were mine, I'd treat you like a queen every day." That should suffice for someone with your brain and morals.

And . . . If you don't have children, please leave your husband to find a decent woman.

Answer 6

Damn u people are nuts, do u know that? Here u are, you're both married and you're here asking a bunch of strangers what to do.
Well I can only tell u that u can start by telling the very people u gave your vows to that you're both having an affair with each other. Then u can both proceed to divorce court because at this point, your spouses don't deserve to be married to two selfish, stupid people who only care about themselves.

So go ahead, what's stopping u from being together? Because the way I look at it, u both deserve each other.

Answer 7

It sounds like you won't be hooking up with him again. It would be hard to keep this a secret from your husband - but if you honestly feel shame and regret, and you won't do it again, bear the burden and don't say a word. It was a big mistake, but by telling your husband you could seriously jeopardize your relationship with him. Just make sure you don't plan on doing it again - if it becomes chronic, then YOU MUST BE HONEST WITH HIM.

Answer 8

Wow .Lindsay got some real anger issues. Obviously you have something wrong in your relationship if you have been flirting and talking to this man for 3 years speak to him tell him it was a mistake and find out if you want to work on it with your husband

Answer 9

If you continue you will be in the same situation of cheating again. But then you will not be able to ask your husband to "forgive you since it only happened once." Your marriage definitely will be gone and so will his. Now you can at least break it off and try to get forgiven by your husband (unless you are happy to be cheating).

Answer 10

Best to leave it that way, it was wrong for you to cheat on your husband, and if you stay away from him, perhaps your husband will never find out. The sex wasn't worth the chance, except it as a bad mistake, and go on with your husband and life.