New and first time moms?

Question

I am a new and first time mom of a 5 month old girl. I am having a hard time adjusting to staying home as i love and miss my job very much. My husband and i are constantly fighting over the fact that he gets to leave the house to go grocery shopping, going to get tea and leaving us at home as it is just easier that way. DO any of you new and first time moms find that you are more irritable, upset due to the fact that he leaves, miss your job and find it difficult to adjust to staying home? Are any areas of your life suffering?

Sorry I am not saying i dont get out of the house. I mean i am having a difficult time adjusting to the stay at home thing.... My husband wants to do things for me when he gets home such as pick things up that we need. I Love my daughter but i rather be at work and see her when i get home, unfortunately i cannot go back to work as of yet as i work the evening shift which complicates things further.

Answer 1

I'm not a first time mom, this pregnancy is #2 for us. But I resent that my husband gets to get up in the morning and go to work. Then when he comes home he relaxes. I do all the housework, 99% of the cooking, and I do almost everything for my daughter. My job doesn't end at 5, I have to work until she goes to bed and then I'm on call all night, every night. And I do it with the aches and pains of pregnancy.

It's hard and you have to weigh the pros and cons. If you aren't adjusting well to being a stay at home mom, then go back to work. Don't feel guilty about placing your daughter in a quality daycare. If you feel that home is where you belong you have to come to terms with what bothers you about it and find a way to deal. Find a friend to vent to or insist on doing the grocery shopping, let him stay home with the baby once in awhile. There is no shame in needing some "me time".

Answer 2

Well it could be worse (o: I am a stay at home single mom. And before I was pregnant I was a get up and go person. ALWAYS on the go rather it be working, drinking with the girls, shopping, traveling or just whatever!! And I had to quit working at my 5th month and now he is 1 month old and I am about to go B O N K E R S!!!! i cannot stand this whole stay at home thing, but i dont have a choice. And the fact that I am breastfeeding makes it harder. But however, my advice to you is to SUCK IT UP!!! get out of the house and go to the post office, drive around, go buy some new clothes for yourself, get a pedicure. I thought that having a baby meant that my life had to stop and ohhhhh i was wrong. And I just started getting out about a week ago and lemme tell ya... i feel SOOOOOO much better. I feel like I am slowly starting to get my life back. VERY slowly. Just with someone new in it!! And start lookin round for daycare/babysitters and get back to work. And when your husband gets home from work make him stay at home and you get out and do whatever you want... whatever makes you happy (o: Just know that your life hasnt ended... it has just begun!! ENJOY IT!!!

Answer 3

oh my gosh, yes!!!!!!!!!! Especially when my son was very young like that. The feeling of isolation can overwhelm you, especially when you don't have many people around that you know, and it's the dead of winter, as was my case! But I promise things do get better as they get a little older: you'll see all the cute things he misses while he's gone. Also, I really, really, really advise you to get something that's JUST FOR YOU. Maybe a part time job, an exercise program, book club, whatever! Something you have to look forward to, something that gets you out of the house. It will give your husband and daughter some time to bond, and you a well deserved break! Good luck, God Bless, and remember, you're not the only woman who's felt this way, and you won't be the last!

Answer 4

You need to get out of the house. There's no reason why your husband can't stay home with the baby while you go and do the grocery shopping alone. You should be able to get out and do what you want a couple of times a week. Even if it's just for an hour between feedings. And you can go out with your baby too.

Answer 5

Oh I am a second time mommy and I know exactly where you're coming from. Believe me its been 6 years since I last had a baby and now I have a 2 mnth old. I miss working sooo much. I get irritated with my husband sometimes because he's always working. One thing you could do is go out with the whole family you just have one baby, go out and get stuff you need together so that you could spend time together and get out of the house. Whenever I get irritated with my husband he says okay time to go out somewhere and we'll bring the kids and have dinner or go shopping which we do just about everyday. I get tired of cleaning house. I do laundry one day and its back again the next. I put stuff to go in slow cooker so I could avoid cooking. I yank my hair sometimes and don't know why. POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION without the postpartum part! On weekends get a sitter and you and your husband go out and do something special just the two of you!

Answer 6

It does seem hard to adjust to a new baby at first. Even though I'm not confined to the house, it's still irritating because you know your life is now forever changed. Try going somewhere with your baby where other babies might be also. Sometimes letting a close friend or family member keep your baby for a few hours or the weekend gives you time for yourself. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

I wish I could stay home with my 3 month old son but I have to work. Try taking your baby for walks every day. Go visit friends. Find other stay at home moms in your area and do things together. Also there is no need for you not to go to the store with your baby. Unless your problem is with transportation. My fiance and I take our 3 month old everywhere we go...even on "dates". Babies shouldn't change your life completely! You are allowed to still have a life...you just share it will someone else now.

Answer 8

Babe, Call it a break you need to get your stroller and dress the part of a super-fly mom and get up and go be mother and daughter. Don't be upset make it work in your favor that's women of the this 21st Century parenting is all about. Act like you know and bring a can do attitude with you. Hell I wish I was a stay at home mom taking care of one child I got a 3yr. old and 2 yr. old they drive me up the wall and I work 40hrs plus. Call it a blessing and keep on stepping. And if all doesn't work send you child to childcare and do what you want too.

Answer 9

Why can't you and baby go shopping too??Or just you and dad stays home with baby? how is that harder??? Most stay-at-home moms do the shopping, so whats the big deal. You need to get out of the house once and awhile. I understand how you feel. I hate sitting around at home, I miss my job terribly. I usually use shopping as an excuse to get out of the house-with my baby.
Oh and dont get my wrong-i LOVE staying home with my baby-I love spending my time with him, I just miss my job lots too

Answer 10

i wonder why he says it's easier for him to do the shopping, etc. easier for who? when he comes home from work, just say very casually, "sweetie, i'm going to run to the store - is there anything you need?" make sure he knows that YOU are going, and that you're not asking him to go. tell him you're getting tampons or something - no guy wants to pick those up.

sometimes i feel caged in my home, so i just throw the boy in the car and go to the mall, go for a walk, etc. do you have a car? use it! if not, grab the stroller!

find yourself a mom's group so you can talk about these things with other women who know EXACTLY what you're going through.

as far as work goes, talk to your hubby about going back to work part-time. tell him it's important for your mental well-being to continue that job that you loved so much - this will make your time with your daughter that much more special.

good luck!