I've never been considered a dyme or anything, I'm not ugly but I'm not a girl you would see on the street and go damnnnnnnnnn she's fine. Everytime I see one of those girls I remember that I'm not her and probably never will be. I'm a plus size girl this is an issue, I'm biracial this is an issue, and I'm officially an old maid this year~~no kids and still not married. I'm feeling pretty low about myself today, especially at the start of the Fall trimester and these beautiful 21 year olds are gracing the hallways of school. Whats a vette to do?
2006-09-11 07:57:52 · 22 answers · asked by Fairy 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Start by realising that you were born fine, not imperfect. You were born with good qualities and special talents which nobody else has. You are unique. Remind yourself of that.
You say you have low self esteeem, and a poor self image, but really these are just thoughts you have about yourself, and ALL THOUGHTS CAN BE CHANGED. Start by making a list of your positive qualities, and remind yourself of these often. Do this especially when you see one of the ´conventionally´ pretty girls.
Next thing is to take a couple of the deepest thoughts about yourself, and turn them into their positive opposites. A thought repeated often enough becomes a belief, and the deeper it goes into your mind, the more you will feel it. If you believe that you have a unique beauty, and a lot to offer the world, you will after a time start believing these things. There will be no need to be jealous of other people´s beauty, because you will be RECOGNISING YOUR OWN.
Every belief you have ever picked up started off as just an utterance out of somebody´s mouth, or words on a piece of paper. Maybe people told you when you were younger, that you were ugly or inadequate. Maybe you picked it up from magazines or other parts of the popular media, but you don´t have to hold onto them any longer.
When you think positively, and feel good about yourself, you radiate different qualities. It´s as if you have a newfound X-factor or something. I´m not sure how, but whenever I have done this, people have always reacted really positively to me. Try this yourself. Try approving of yourself and you will be amazed to see what happens.
All men like beautiful women, there´s no doubt about that, but if you are going around feeling good about yourself, people will think of you as a BEAUTIFUL AND ATTRACTIVE LADY, and you will definitely be one. After a while of working on your self esteem, people will see you and think " DAMNNNNNN SHE´S FINE! "
You will also find that when you start feeling good about yourself, there is some kind of spill-over effect, so you also start feeling good about plenty of other things too.
Society brainwashes people into thinking that the only time you are attractive is if you are young, slim and have good skin. When you see those ´beautiful´ 21 year olds they may well have spent ages getting themselves to look good. They might be paranoid about their looks, or they may spend their whole lives on diets, worrying about piling on a tiny bit of weight. That´s no way to live.
Also, try thinking of the beautiful girls as being ´conventionally´ beautiful, whereas you could be únconventionally´ beautiful if you wish. You are simply packaged differently to them, but have inner beauty JUST LIKE THEM.
I can think of a girl in my workplace who is plus size, but she also looks fantastic, and has just as many suitors as the pretty girls (because she´s one of them). The reason being is that she is radiant, loves life and feels good about herself.
Being biracial needn´t hold you back. Look at the Pussycat Dolls or the Dan Reed Network. Lots of the beautiful women on US television are biracial.
Being older needn´t hold you back either. You can be happy and enjoying life at any age. It really IS a state of mind more than anything else. Last year, there was a talent search reality show on British TV called ´X-factor´ and one of the contestants was biracial, mid 30s and plus size, and you know what....? She let the world see what she was about, and she REALLY FLOURISHED. She put in dynamic performances on the show, looked fantastic, and really enjoyed herself. Although she didn´t win, she has had a lot of success since.
You can do the same. I don´t know what age you are, but I would guess you are not 21. It really doesn´t matter either, because you can be full of life at any age.
Do as some of the other responders have suggested. Go for a make-over. Something as simple as a different haircut can make all the difference. If you have a bit of money, go through your wardrobe, and get rid of all the outfits you don´t like, or have lost their appeal. Then go out and treat yourself to something really becoming and classy. This too can make all the difference.
But the most important thing is to change your thinking to more positive things about yourself. ANY THOUGHT CAN BE CHANGED.
Go fir it, you can do it!
2006-09-12 10:08:24 · answer #1 · answered by The Global Geezer 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not all about looks. The guys who go after the hotties will soon realize they are lacking something, be it a personality, brain, good conversation, something. Nobody is perfect, but you have to look inside you and focus on what you do have. The more you believe in yourself and love yourself, the more others will see that shine through.
I bet there is tons you have to offer. You are probably funny, easy to talk to, and a good conversationalist.
Biracial people, no matter what their size are very pretty. They have a nice color to them, a hint of tan all year long!
Just because you aren't married and don't have kids doesn't make you "an old maid" it just makes you even better for the man that will come along.
You have to live for you, stay focused on your career, school, and being happy with who you are and one day someone will come along and you will forget all about these worries!
2006-09-11 08:26:59 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer T 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you'll be out of School one day and into a whole new world. Don't worry so much about your looks either. Of course try to take good care of yourself which I'm sure you do. Join a place so you can lose some of that weight on you, that will make you feel a bit better to. Then learn to love who you are no matter what. You was made in the likeness of God. Be happy that you can walk, talk, see, hear, you have no neurological problems, your OK, So Praise the Lord. You can lose a little weight. Life is about Change, so make it a positive change when you go on your diet. I just don't eat when I lose weight. Then my stomach sheiks and then I start to not want to eat, next thing you know that weight is falling off of you and then you can look like those pretty girls and have the humble sweet heart that you seem to have so that you can walk all over them one day. I know you'll do fine! All this stuff your sweating over, does pass. God Bless You!
2006-09-11 08:09:29 · answer #3 · answered by SecretUser 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start finding what is beautiful about yourself!! The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to ANYONE...whether it is by their status in life, their outward appearance or anything. Comparing can only get you into trouble because you can only see so much about a person without knowing them (and even then it is a coin toss)...they could be horrible inside and a mess. If you are comparing yourself...you will ALWAYS come up short because you can't be objective about yourself and can only see them at face value.
Also, what century do you live in? An old maid? What is this? Apparently you are in college...working on your education to better yourself...you have THAT going for you. You have your entire life ahead of you...and plenty of time for marriage and children in the future. Let this time be just about YOU and what YOU want.
Work on the way you feel about yourself and stop worrying about how other people look in comparison to you. It is a never ending battle that will only make you feel lower. When you see these so-called beautiful girls just think to yourself "Well I have (insert a positive thing about yourself) going for me and I am still a beautiful person." We are all unique and beautiful...in appearance, personality and just being who we are. Good luck!!! : )
2006-09-11 08:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is easier said than done, but it's all about SELF CONFIDENCE.
Self confidence is the most attractive quality there is. If self confidence wasn't the most important factor in being attractive then 95% of males never would find a girlfriend.
look at wearing hats. Why do some people look great in a hat and others feel and look dorky to themselves in a hat? Self Confidence.
In starting to build back up your self confidence pick something unusual to claim as a symbol of who you are, and be proud of that one new thing.
Over time add more and more things to the list of things that your proud of. And pretty soon you'll have a massive amount of self confidence and you'll be a lot more attractive than the average person.
2006-09-11 08:29:18 · answer #5 · answered by TopReviewer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see any of your issues as negatives!
You are a plus size girl....what is wrong with that??
You are biracial...so what? You get the best of 2 races.
You are an old maid...That is a catch to some older, very good looking bachelors!!!
Love yourself for who you are. If you are a good person, you will find the right person and they will think you are as beautiful as those 21 year old beauties. Even if you don't
Trust me, I found one!!
2006-09-11 08:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by menkiedog 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Learn to be happy with yourself. Accept who you are & be proud of the things you've done with your life or how you've made a difference in someone elses life. Beauty isn't all about the way you look on the outside but the way you are as a person. People see a beautiful person that is humble, respectful, conciderate, kind, and unselfish. Don't worry so much about what you do or don't look like...beauty fades with age...beauty is forever in the heart.
Those "pretty" girls lose their looks eventually and worse...have a bad attitude to go with it. Not attractive in any way what-so-ever huh?
Hope you feel better!
2006-09-12 02:34:36 · answer #7 · answered by paigenstuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to yourself.... seriously and with emotional awareness.
Please answer this question: What is the purpose of life?
Until you can answer this, with sincerity and Knowledge, you will not find peace in your life.
The purpose of this life is not for you, as you see yourself in a mirror, or next to yourself in a window walking down the street, or as displayed in your shadow. The purpose of life is for your Soul to discover what it has always been, but has forgotten. And, your Soul is an absolute stranger to your MIND, and your ego, and has precious little to do with what you think.
Your MIND will never know Love, as this is the domain of your Soul, and of your Apapsyche [consciousness]. And what passes for love on this plane is, at best, short lived.
You are not your body, nor what you think, good or bad. Nor are you anything your intellect can conceive, alter, or improve. You are a Soul, and that Soul is Perfect... and has never not been Perfect. The only thing you lack is an appreciation of who and what you are within your physical body.
How do you suppose humility is acquired? Humility is a virtue, and it comes at a terrible cost to ego. In fact, the birth of humility is born out of the death of pride, and self importance. Be not jealous of those who must, sometime, discover the shallowness of vanity and pride. Let yourself feel some compassion for these folk who will suffer terribly for loss of delusional beauty.
Do not spend any more time on attachment to the illusory things of this plane than absolutely necessary. Repeat continuously within yourself a ringing thankfulness for a slap of awareness of that which sets one up for a crushing fall... vanity, pride, ego, and a sense of being something special. Accept as Grace a sense of reality that you are reluctant to embrace... as you cling to a delusional idea of who you are. You will never be able to repay the Grace shown to you.... but you can try by practicing love of Self.
Peace
2006-09-11 08:39:56 · answer #8 · answered by docjp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some inspiration from your curvy sisters! Have a look at AmaZe Plus Size Magazine online:
http://www.amazemagazine.com
Look at the current issue as well as the archives - you will see amazing women thriving in their curves -
Also, I have been an acting teacher for years and you would be very surprised that a size 2 has as many body issues as a size 22 - it all has to do with how you feel about yourself, with curves or without...
Hope this helps :-)
Keep thriving...
Valery ~
2006-09-11 08:08:47 · answer #9 · answered by valeryvie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get prettier. Let an expert help you. Really great looking women make looking really great a full-time job, hon. But, you might also consider focusing on your health. Get in shape. Eat right. Learn martial arts. LIVE. You'll glow with real beauty then, the kind of beauty that the truly interesting people in the world notice and appreciate.
2006-09-11 08:12:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋