I first want to appoligise to any males out there who do not scream at families. Now I am waiting to hear from my lawyer and the ex keeps calling my cell. I turn it off but my kids need to be able to reach me. I do not dare to even pick it up to speak to him at all because he is bawling or screaming. I have made appointments for counseling. I have tried to get him to go but he only went once. Doc said he was narcisitic. At the time I really did not know what that meant. Now he is filling my voice mail. I dont know how to block him. This is really difficult to deal with. I can and will deal but I am in a shelter and feeling at a loss. He does not work and can not afford the house. I pay for everything. This is why he is calling. He calls it love. How do I block him?
2006-09-11 07:57:18 · 24 answers · asked by Lynnette G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
can't you change your mobile number???
2006-09-11 07:59:22 · answer #1 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, GOOD FOR YOU for being strong enough to leave. Keep doing what you are doing.
Don't apologize to the men out there who don't scream at their families! If they are nice men, they understand your predicament and don't need to be apologized to. You didn't do anything wrong or hurtful by posting this question!!! This is a classic sign of a woman who has been verbally abused (I know, because I was one.).
NEXT, call your cell phone company and ask them to change your number immediately and to NOT have a forwarding number played when people call your old one. It is important to tell them this because sometimes it is automatic. Explain to them that you are being threatened and need to change the number ASAP. Call everyone that NEEDS your new number (your kids, mom, lawyer, etc...) to let them know of the change. Do NOT give the number to anyone who will give it to your ex and be sure to let everyone know that if he calls them, that your new number is private and is NOT to be given to anyone unless you say it's alright.
If you haven't gone to the police already, go and file a harrassment report regarding his phone calls. Save some or all of his worst voicemail messages and play them for the police. Get a restraining order if you possibly can.
DO NOT make excuses as to why you can't change your number. This must be done and you can figure out all of the details when you aren't being harrassed by this awful man. When I was in your predicament I made excuses and it made things worse. You can get through anything, you just need to do it, especially for your children's sake.
I went through this with an ex. He was the EXACT same way. It is not 'love', it is 'control'. He calls because it is the only way he can control your behavior. He can upset and frustrate you by filling up your voicemail. He would call telling me how much he loved me and was sorry and missed me and couldn't live without me and the minute that I told him I wouldn't be back, suddenly I was a "whore" among other horrible names that no one calls someone they love.
If the house is under both of your names, you're in a sticky situation and need to see a lawyer fast. If it is in your name, you can have him kicked out. If he is persistent, you may need to sell the house and move somewhere that he can't find you.
Good luck. You have made the right first step. Take care of yourself! You're an inspiration to other women trying to get out of these types of abusive relationships.
2006-09-11 08:11:40 · answer #2 · answered by J B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Narcissism is the feeling that you are the most important thing in the lives of everyone around you. Someone with an attitude like that can be dangerous. If your ex keeps calling you, block his number or change your cell number. Constant harrassment such as this can give you the grounds for a restraining order if you want to go that far.
2006-09-11 08:01:19 · answer #3 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a really similar problem, only I have custody of my son, and my ex uses it as a reason to "check up" on me all the time. I have blocked my home phone and only switch on my mobile to make contact arrangements. I don't want him to break contact with his son. Its not fair on our little boy.
My ex continues to harrass and verbally abuse me. He threatens me in front of our son. I have contacted a solicitor. You may wish to do the same. In the UK, if you are on low income it will be covered by legal aid.
I would also recommend contacting Womens Aid to ask their advice, they can also put you in touch with a good solicitor with experience in this field. Womens Aid also offer emotional support and counselling, should you need this. Their helpline number is: 0808 2000 247. Or you can visit their website at www.womensaid.org.uk
Your solicitor may suggest getting an injunction against your ex. This is also known as a non-molestation order. However, it is not easy to attach any power of arrest to it (and therefore any power to it) unless you can prove any threats of violence, or episodes of violence.
Otherwise you could contact the police, keep a diary of events, and press for criminal charges or harrassment.
If I were you, I would get yourself a solicitor first of all. They can give you far better advice than I can.
I hope all goes well for you. It may all seem too hard and too much to bear at the moment, but stay strong, get support, and take charge of the situation. You CAN get through this. x
2006-09-11 08:12:54 · answer #4 · answered by Carys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First get a restraining order and then u can go ahead a change u cell #.
U can continue to do counselling to help u. Trust in God and he shall direct ur paths. It might be difficult rite now but be strong dont give up as least for the sake of ur kids.
Goodluck!
2006-09-11 08:07:43 · answer #5 · answered by Miss-Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order, get a new phone. Keep the old one and keep the messages as evidence if he persists. Don't waste time on getting him to counselling, the authorities will see to it when they listen to all the messages left to you. Who is in the house at the moment? Sell it if you can, and move on. Even if you have lost out financially, if he cannot find you, the peace of mind for you and your children is worth more.
2006-09-11 08:23:06 · answer #6 · answered by Thia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stick in there. I went through the same and he will get fed up eventually. I got up every morning to voice mails and e-mails and my kids got them too. He has now got the message 10months down the line and it is wonderful. Because I have chosen to have no contact it means I have to provide for my kids by myself but that suits me fine I would rather work 24/7 than have to listen to his screaming and bawling. Good luck and be happy.
2006-09-11 21:01:54 · answer #7 · answered by carrie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't HAVE to change your number. Right after you get a restraining order on him, call your cell phone carrier and get them to walk you through the procedure on blocking certain callers. It can be done. But, under no circumstance should you let him bully you into going back. You've done the right thin. Stick by your guns.
2006-09-11 08:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by kj 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save the voice messages just in case you need them in court. You can file for a restraining order against him and call your cell phone carrier and ask them how to block a number.
2006-09-11 08:04:01 · answer #9 · answered by railcar_exp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a new phone., or sim card, you can pick them up for a couple of quid.you should not have left your home ,you get a court order to keep him away from house as well as you and children.you change the locks .you dont say if house is yours or rented .when you do go back if not to late you will be in arrears somewhere along the line sort it out now.
2006-09-13 11:29:07 · answer #10 · answered by smiler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order. In Florida, you can ask for sole and exclusive use of the home.
Change your cell phone number.
The man is going to nuts. You need to protect yourself and your children.
You should see a lawyer. You can get a free consultation.
Good luck
2006-09-11 08:13:39 · answer #11 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋