My husband of 8 years never says I Love you, I tell him this makes me feel bad, he says that he thinks its stupid to say this. If I say it to him he will mumble it back to me reluctantly. He is not an affectionate person to begin with, but in private I wish he would just reasure me. Am I wrong? Woman would this concern you or am I over reacting to this, it really bothers me!
2006-09-11 07:52:22 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Note** I am not settling. He is a good man, except for this. He does not say this to anyone, including his children, parents or anyone....Counceling is not a option. He's not a talker either.
2006-09-11 08:21:23 · update #1
I don't think you are wrong for it. I would be upset too. Some men are just not comfortable showing their emotions. It could be because they never saw enough of it growing up, so it seems unnatural to them. I think he feels that he doesnt have to say it because if he didn't love you then he wouldn't be with you. But you have to make it a point to him that its something you really want and maybe he will give in.
2006-09-11 07:57:00 · answer #1 · answered by NAQ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MARRIED WOMEN! You MAY be able to get that sonuvabitch to actuallly SAY It..but the REAL questons are: a) Does he MEAN it and B) Why hasn't he said it in a long time???!
First test: If YOU HAVE said and he hasn't....you either have a witless boob as a husband or b) he doesn't love your, even if he says it now or c)He's saying it just to "appease you"..to keep you hanging onto dream, doing his laundry, raising his young'uns, plowing his fields (okay...maybe only SOME Of you do that)...UNTIL hew finds a new "chicky-bump).
Sorry, but men are basically in it (Life) for the thrill of sex and getting away with HAVING IT whenever they can, no matter how much it hurts their wives, THEIR CHILDREN ! and even themselves...until they're caught w/their pants down...almost literally!
MY advice? Tell the S.O.B. that: IF you ever catch him, you will ...(be very very sure on this, both in what you say and what YOU KNOW YOU WILL DO!) make his life a LIVING HELL...child custody, divorce, child support, dredging up everything he's ever done, inclunding domestic and DUI's...ruining his career and disgracing him...UNLESS he is faithful...TO YOU!
Bear in mind...you MUST be prepared to follow through on ALL of these threats! Because, chances are, the idiot will not believe you and will break one or all of his so-=called promise.
See...men think women are IDIOTS and TRUSTING FOOLS (usually because that is EXACTLY how women behave...I'im sorry..but I have no pity for doormats) and women just keep on proving the bastards right. So YOU must be the one who does NOT fall for his crap!
Don't do it...or guy after guy after guy will run roughshod over you like the doormat to an RUV!
I am NOT kidding!
BTW - the phrase "RUV" was intentional: "Recreational Utility Vehicle"...that's ALL you'll ever be to him unless you demand respect.
2006-09-11 08:21:58 · answer #2 · answered by Gwynneth Of Olwen 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not married, but since I'll never be, I'll answer anyway. I tell my girlfriend I love her and adore her several times a day, every single day, and she tells me she loves me just as often. Even if we're not together, I will message her telling her that, or she will message me and I'll respond. But you know, it might be harder for some people to express it, but it doesn't necessarily mean they don't feel it. If you're worried your love has faded and is no longer the same, try to ignite it again. I think it's safe to say no one knows your husband better than you, so you'll probably know how to.
2006-09-11 08:08:42 · answer #3 · answered by Ricardo P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I rarely tell my wife that I love her without her saying it first. I love my wife with all of my heart and soul. I just thought she knew that I love her, that is just the way us men think.
I lost my wife a week ago, she left me while I was at work. I never abused her physically or mentally, I abused her through neglect. I didn't spend as much time with her as I should have and I didn't make love to her as ofter as I could have. I didn't tell her that I love her like I really did. Now she is gone. I am in so much pain and I miss her terribly.
I tell you, if my wife allows me back into her life again, I will love her like she has never known. I will tell her I Love You every moment that I get, I will make love to her every chance that I get. I will listen to her feelings with great passion. I do love my wife so much but us men do not understand that women need to be reassured that we love them every day of the year.I have learned my lesson and I hope my wife knows that in my heart I have really learned and allows my back in her life.
2006-09-11 08:29:39 · answer #4 · answered by sharkscue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, this would bother the heck out of me!!!! I can understand not wanting to display affection in pubic, but in private? Perhaps he has some childhood issues. I would keep up with saying you love him and letting him know how much it hurts you for him not to say it to you. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you, he just has a hard time saying his feelings out loud. If it bothers you then ask him to go to counseling or take a partners class together. maybe even a couples retreat.
2006-09-11 07:56:49 · answer #5 · answered by silver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, everyday for 16 almost 17 years now. My wife asks me if I'm ok when it's in the evening and I haven't said it yet. I sometimes wait to tell her because I love to see her face when she asks me if I'm ok. I say because I love her and not just because it's something just for the heck of it. I really do mean it each and every time.
Love YA !
2006-09-11 08:03:15 · answer #6 · answered by This, That & such 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it would bother me. I have been with my husband for 6 1/2 years and he tells me numerous times in one day. When we leave for work, anytime he talks to me on the phone, when we get home from work, just beacause, when we go to sleep. It makes a person feel better.
Try not to say it to him and see if her starts to react different. This maybe a sign it is starting to come to an end. Good Luck with it.
2006-09-11 08:00:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not normal. you are settling. i personally advise you to start looking into divorce. you are not happy. read the books by iylana vyzant (not sure of spelling) in the meantime , and her little red book about journeys. Her books on advice about love makes you think. No lie i made a decision to leave a certain person alone and go with the next one. You are in the meantime, settling. here's something to grow on, if i wake up in the morning and want a sausage biscuit with cheese, i am not going to settle for french toast. i will go and get what my stomache desires. on the same note i will go and get what my "heart" desires. He's like a pair of old shoes. they don't fit right anymore, GET A NEW PAIR. SMILE
2006-09-11 08:09:55 · answer #8 · answered by sexy c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men just don't share their emotions. They think it makes them weak or vulnerable. I've been with my gf for 3 & 1/2 years and I tell her that I love her quite frequently. But I'm also affectionate. I'm comfortable with myself (my masculinity) and If I was going to make myself vulnerable to anyone it would be my gf.
2006-09-11 07:58:51 · answer #9 · answered by gozedown 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you are over reacting. I think women need to hear I love you now and again. It really makes a woman feel good.
2006-09-11 07:56:47 · answer #10 · answered by jeter2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋