Is it stupid to marry a gambler?

Question

I have been dating a wonderful man but he loves to gamble. He wants to marry me and said we could put so much money in an account and I could pay the bills. It is plenty of money to pay the bills but is it stupid to marry a gambler.

Answer 1

Absolutely, positively stupid to marry a gambler. Gambling is an addiction...would you marry a drug addict? Education yourself on the sickness. He's willing to let you put money in an account so he doesn't gamble it away but he's not willing to get help for his gambling problem? Does that sound reasonable to you? This guy is under the influence of an addiction, he will say or do anything he deems necessary to 'feed his need'. If you marry him you will have earned every problem you have. Not to mention you are dooming yourself to being broke for a lifetime. How much fun would that be? Aside from that marriage is a big deal and love really isn't enough to make a marriage work...ask anyone who has ever been divorced...they 'loved' the person they married too.

Consider marriage when you have been together long enough to be out of the infatuation stage. When you have discussed ALL the issues involved in life after the wedding like finances, division of household labor, children, in laws, where to live, jobs, time away with friends, sex (how much and how often) and a million other things you haven't thought of. After all of that you consider each part of the vows, and what you consider is the difficult side of them, anybody can be happy when things are going well so,

richer or poorer....still want to be with them in a shack with crackers ala peanut butter for dinner...for the fourth night in a row?

sickness and health...they develop a chronic physical or mental illness and can't get around and can't work, still want to be there?

better or worse...they are in a car accident and you have to spend the rest of your life feeding them and changing their diapers, still want to be married?

keep yourself only to him or her, can you REALLY only have sex with only that person until you die?

THIS is what marriage is, not a fairy tale where everything goes well everyday, the one guarantee you have is that things WILL go wrong. Remember, you answer all these questions after you have passed infatuation, after you know what their bad points are (yes they have some and so do you) and still consider it anyway.

If you think you are up for all of this then maybe you should think about it. Don't forget to consider whether they would stick by you if it was you in any or all of the above scenarios. Check out the question posted here by married people and keep in mind that all of them thought this was the thing to do and the ONE for them when they got married too! There is a book called Lies At The Altar by Dr. Robin Smith, it helps you answer all this and go in to a marriage with your eyes wide open, if you aren't willing to consider all that then what you really want is a pretty ring and a nice party and lots of attention, have them but don't make that a basis for a LIFE. Good luck!

Answer 2

To my point of view no it not stupid to marry a gambler it stupid to let a gambler take over of what y'all have earn together. It stupid if you let him ruin you out a house and home. But it is stupid if you don't marry him because he's a gambler instead of marrying him because you love him think about it and make your decision.

Answer 3

Gambling is an addiction...Would you marry a man with an addiction? Of course not....With gambling, one minute you have money, security and food on the table, the next you're wodering how you are going to eat and where you are going to sleep. Don't be foolish, you know you should not be involved in this relationship with someone who is a gambler. You deserve security and dependability. If you didn't already know this in your heart, you wouldn't be asking this question. Doubt is the biggest marriage killer, next comes addiction...Make the right choice, take care of you...

Answer 4

Never marry with a gambler.My friend,she is marry with a gambler.Can you imagine,he spent more than two thousand dollars every Saturday gambling?she now is ready to get the divorce (2 years married with this gambler).He is working with an Oil company.He gets good income,but he spend all his money gambling.Think good,do not marry with a gambler.Why? Because you have not future.

Answer 5

I would say be careful! When you marry someone you want to build a life with them, financially, family wise, etc. If someone gambles money away without a thought, many times the gambling will come before family. There is nothing wrong with doing it in moderation, but someone who can not, will usually gamble away their family too. My grandfather was a compulsive gambler and my mother remembers living in huge homes than moving into shacks, because everything go gambled away. You want your family to be stable not a roulette spin everyday. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Yes, it is stupid to marry a gambler. He has a great plan but will he keep to it.

Answer 7

Yes hon.......think abt it if u decide on marrying him. Gambling is a dreadful addiction any male/female could adapt. It causes pain and suffering both in a home and business area. Im sure there's alot more outstanding guys u can meet later on rather than settling for some loser....u deserve better. Remember it's only u can make the final decision.

Pls i hope u make a good decision.

Goodluck!

Answer 8

Well I would say you cant determine when his gambling is going to get out of control. Life is hard enough as it is so I would suggest not making it more difficult for yourself. Wouldn't it be a damn shame if 10 yrs from now your broke and owing lots of money looking back wondering what you were thinking ?

Answer 9

Marring him sounds like a gamble...
What you should consider is that gambling is an addiction. That is a fact. Its like doing recreational meth. Maybe you should go to a gambling anonymous meeting - that might be quite an eye opener.
Its great that he wants you to handle the money but as with any addiction if he needs what you have HE WILL find a way to get it! Don't be foolish enough to think that the money he contributes, nor your money is safe from his habits.

Answer 10

Yes it is, he will gamble away all your money, put you into debt and take off. Have him checked out, I sense a repeat performance here.
If you are stupid and marry him, put all the money in your own private account, no joint accounts! Don't allow him access or give him any info about it, because he will swipe clean on you.