We have been dating for 8 months and just found out last week I am pregnant. We both come from religious families and believe in God, but are not vigilant about it. Our families think we should get married before the baby is born, but we are unsure if it is more important to marry for the well being of the baby, or if we should be so much in love we would want to get married anyway. We want to have the child and stay together to raise it and possibly get married eventually, so is it better to wait or go ahead and take the plunge?
2006-09-11 07:10:05 · 12 answers · asked by Les 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Really, that is something that should have been thought about before you got pregnant (I have no problem saying that because I was in your same position at one time) Since you are pregnant, don't compound the issues. Do what you think is best for you, the daddy adn the baby. Don't let everyone dictate your life. If you marry because everyone wants you too then end up divorced, who will suffer......... ALL OF YOU
2006-09-11 07:55:05 · answer #1 · answered by kmday1130 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending where you are truly at on a religious point will ultimately bare down on a decision you both can live with.
The fact that you are already pregnant before marriage cannot be changed no matter if you get married months or years later.
In order for a marriage to work, you have to have love, trust, and honesty not to leave out compatibility and communication to make it worthwhile because you can get pregnant if contraceptives doesn't work properly or as a result of unprotected sex well before you even get to know the person your with.
You have been dating for only 8 months which isn't really enough time to date and get to know someone better. You can be with someone for years and not know them but 8 months wouldn't be sufficient enough time for me.
Again, think long hard and carefully at the decisions you are going to have to make in life and if your an adult, it is ultimately your decision whether you get married before or after the birth.
Marrying for the well being of the baby is only fundamental if the two people getting married truly want to be married if the don't, your starting out heading for marital problems which the baby will be exposed to. Good luck.
2006-09-11 14:20:43 · answer #2 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Loving don't last. Good cookin' do." Old saying.
If you aren't "in love" you should not have been making babies together. Listen to your families. Arranged marriages have a higher percentage of lasting a long time than love (lust) based marriages.
The purpose and meaning of marriage is to form a stable home to create and raise children. It's not about loving each other. Its about the kid and your family. Its important to be married before the baby is born, to have the safe stable home created for him/her to be born into.
2006-09-11 14:42:33 · answer #3 · answered by bobx23456 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you made a referrence about the bible, it states you are supposed have sex only after you are married. So you are all ready doing things backwards. If you do not love the young man, do not marry someone to please your or his family. Beacuse you are the only two people who has to live with each other and your decision.
2006-09-11 14:45:54 · answer #4 · answered by TBobb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get married when YOUR ready. Do not let the bible or your families decide YOUR fate. If you live your lives for others...whats the freaking point of having a life in the first place? Good luck to you!
2006-09-11 14:15:34 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had four children with my husband before we got married. Don't get married because your pregnant. You will feel trapped or he will. Wait and see how it works out. I have now been with my guy for 18 years and we have had our ups and downs but we are still together and happily married with kids. good luck...
2006-09-11 15:37:23 · answer #6 · answered by lighthouse lover 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Bible does not say you have to get married just because you are pregnant. The Bible states you should not have sex before marriage. Too late for that...
If you get married just because you are pregnant, you will probably regret it. I would say 90% of marriages that start that way end up baddddd.
2006-09-11 14:31:21 · answer #7 · answered by Darin S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont rush if you are not in love with him dont marry him...
However, think about what you just said... you had sex with some one without a condom that you are not in love and when you say that you are not in love you mean that do not know the person you had sex.........Take your time and you are lucky that it was a baby and not something else(herpes, HIV etc)
Good Luck...
2006-09-11 14:29:35 · answer #8 · answered by Tee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOUR NOT IN LOVE YET, IT IS BETTER NOT TO GET MARRIED YET. GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER FIRST AND THEN IF YOU FALL IN LOVE GET MARRIED THEN. IF YOUR NOT IN LOVE RIGHT NOW IT COULD CAUSE A LOT OF PROBLEMS DOWN THE ROAD.
2006-09-11 14:19:01 · answer #9 · answered by terri jo 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
by the time the baby gets here...yall might be ready! if not, don't do it just for the baby...it's not fair to him/her!
2006-09-11 14:18:24 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋