my soon to be husband keeps on asking me about another child. he wants to have another one. i have allready had 5 kids and i do not have the best pregnancies. i am allways put on bed rest. and i usually have 1 or 2 misscarages befor i hold one. pluss i get such horabble mood swings. i get to the point ware i just want to leave. i have told him all this but i still dont think he understands. he now has all our friends and famely hinting to me that it is a good idea. what do i do?
2006-09-11 07:01:50 · 17 answers · asked by kris s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
just say no
2006-09-11 07:04:31 · answer #1 · answered by GoWhitey33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should wait untill your married , give it some more time for him to think it over and have him relize how much work it is totake care of such a large amount of kids. If they are all young, I do advise you to wait but I cant tell you what to do. So even though more kids means more work, it also means for love. So do what you feel and just be honest with him Good Luck!
2006-09-11 14:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you don't want to have another child because of the physical and emotional strain that the other pregnancies and miscarriages have had on you. I would tell you family and friends as well intentioned as they are that you are not interested in having anymore children. If your fiance loves you he will respect your wishes and drop the subject. Maybe adoption would be an option? Good Luck!
2006-09-11 14:07:33 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really comes down to what you want to do. If you don't want more children work it oput with him now. If it's just because of the pregnancy discuss the option of adoption. You need to work this out before you get married because if you don't you could end up fighting over it and resenting each other for the rest of your lives. People get divorced for much less.
2006-09-11 14:16:22 · answer #4 · answered by Strass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't marry him until you two come to a final conclusion to this HUGE issue. If you do not want anymore children because you simply do NOT want anymore....then you shouldnt be marrying a man that obviously wants one. If your just concerned about your what you go through to have a baby...I say get a good doctor and with the support of your fiancee/husband....GO FOR IT!! In the end...the choice is yours.
2006-09-11 14:08:12 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this. When my husband and i got together. He desperately wants a child. I have three he has one. We finally decided we have kids to take care of. We have four kids, lets take care of them first. I feel for you, my mother in law and my own mother constantly ask us to. But I am content, he isn't but it is my body.I don't know what will ever make it better. All I do is try to change the subject to focusing on the kids we have. So far it has worked.
2006-09-11 14:05:39 · answer #6 · answered by loladoreen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember that it there has to be communicated consent between both parties. (Man and Woman) the outside influences...Discard their ideas and thoughts if they conflict with your own. You make the decision. If you don't wish to have anymore kids, stick with the idea, and don't let others pursuade you otherwise. Tell them why, but stay strong and stick to your wants. You're a persona dn your thoughts should be seriously considered.
2006-09-11 14:06:30 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Brightside 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To thy own self be true.
Then have the situation evaluated by and explained to you both by a physician.
If the physician holds your end of the story and he still wants to have another child, dump him for someone who thinks of you first, not himself.
Children don't equate to a happy marriage.
2006-09-11 14:11:11 · answer #8 · answered by Mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him if you do
he needs to stay home w/ all the other children and put up with you being a bithc all the time
ask if he can handle it
tell him if you get preg and loose this one you don't know how you will handle it also
with the stress of the other kids
say i might need some counseling
2006-09-11 14:13:18 · answer #9 · answered by ez-goin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he have a child of his own? if he doesn't maybe that's why he doesn't understand. maybe he's just looking to have a child of his own with the woman he loves. tell him to wait until you're married. then once he realize how it's like to have houseful of kids maybe he'll think twice. or are you already living together? or the kids aren't around? sorry, i can use more specifications.
2006-09-11 14:07:14 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. JSV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a man's perspective, children are nice, but men normally do not have the same natural desire to have children that women do. If everything is sound in your relationship, you ought to be able to convinence him that you are not interested in children and say "I just want to focus on you".
2006-09-11 14:15:12 · answer #11 · answered by John Archer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋