My wife is gone all the time. She leaves out at 7:00 am and doesn't get home till 6-7:00 pm. A certain amount of her time is spent with men that she says is business, but she has hidden the fact from me that she went out of town with a man. I wouldn't have had a problem with it, but she failed to mention it, and I found out later from someone else. Her reply was "I thought you would get man". She goes to lunch quite often with men, and fails to tell me that either. I don't like her going with men, but for her to hide it, seems shotty. What has really concerned me is the fact she has changed, and doesn't spend any time with me. She has went from a very good sex life, to a nearly non existant one with me. I trust her, but her actions have given me a lot of doubt. How do I get back what was once mine? She got me nothing for our anniversary, or valentines day, and scoffed at going on a trip for the occasion. Am I correct to assume she is up to no good?
2006-09-11 06:52:31 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
With all the information you gave. Unfortunately, she is definetly cheating. I think you need to confront her, or hire a detective. The lady is playing with your emotions. Why should you sit back and close your eyes to her running around on you. You deserve to be happy and with a woman who will be faithful. Hope everything works out for you!
2006-09-11 07:33:13 · answer #1 · answered by 2cute4u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't assume the worst yet. Just remember, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Show your wife that you have a life too. Not to make her jealous or anything, but let her know how her behavior looks from a different point of view. I think that once she sees you having lunch with "friends" she'll see the error of her ways. Also, have you asked if you could go to lunch with her and these friends? It may be nothing. So, to answer your first question, spending time with someone is not cheating unless feelings are involved. And only she can tell you if there are.
2006-09-11 06:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by vitamin D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We treat people how to treat us. You must demand that she show you respect and be honest with you. Nothing kills a marriage faster than doubt. If you are doubting her faithfulness, then you have a serious problem. Tell her that you won't put up with her dishonesty. She needs to tell you everything, regardless of how she feels you will react to whatever she is doing. If you don't show some self-respect and demand honesty from her, she certainly will not respect you. She is going to have to be an open book until you can once again begin to trust her. If she can't do this,and tell you eveything she does and with whom she is spending her time, then your marriage will never last.You've got to have communication before you can start working on getting the intimacy back into your relationship. Once you are communicating again, maybe surprise her and take her out on a date, maybe go the the place you first met. Returning to the place you first fell in love may rekindle a few of those feelings that you seem to have lost. Try to remember what it was that made you fall in love in the first place, and see if those qualities still exist, if so it is worth the search. Love is a choice, if you choose to love her, do everything you can to save the marriage before choosing to leave her.
2006-09-11 07:08:20 · answer #3 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are losing trust, then something's not right... Have you tried to talk to her about it? If there is still the same amount of love and trust you first had when you were married, you can work this out. Tell her that you love her and that you are worried about your relationship but you don't want it to be over... if that's really the case. If she loves you back, and you push her to be honest and work this out, she'll love you more in the end. Sometimes, with the way our society is today (and I personally think this sucks) it's made so easy to flirt with and have relationships outside our marriages and no-one really stops to think how it is hurting the other person(s) involved. Maybe at some point she didn't feel as if you really loved her and she reached out to someone who gave her attention, that's usually how it starts... Good Luck and God bless...
2006-09-11 06:58:48 · answer #4 · answered by rnash0305 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately , you are correct in assuming that. It's nice that you trust her and everything, but if she doesn't tell you something, obviously, there is something to hide. I know that from experience. You can't make a good woman out of a cheater, there's just no way. Maybe she is taking advantage of your trusting her so much. The only way to know for sure is to catch her doing something wrong yourself. I mean, maybe after all, she's not doing something wrong, highly unlikely, but maybe. You should find out where her next business trip is going to be and scope her out. A lot of people may not agree, but that's what I would do. I did do that actually, and now I am going through a divorce, so needless to say,,,,,,,,he got busted. Good luck!
2006-09-11 06:58:01 · answer #5 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be concerned. Regardless of if she is up to no good or not, you have a serious problem with your relationship. You need to find time to sit down with her and talk things through. If things continue the way they are going the distance will only get bigger and eventually you will have no hope of salvaging thing relationship. Remember, don't assume anything and don't accuse her of anything. Instead tell her how spending less time with her makes you feel, and how you hate the fact that she feels she can't trust you and tell you things. Tell her you want to try and change that.
2006-09-11 06:57:51 · answer #6 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's doing these things, she's up to no good. It should be OK to work with men as long as she's open about the issue. She has long hours, that shouldn't be a problem either as long as she finds quality time for you. When it comes to the bedroom time, then this is a true give away if nothing is wrong with the marriage on her behalf, so you need to find the time to discuss this with her to get what she wants to from you.
2006-09-11 06:58:47 · answer #7 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im a divorced women all i can say is if u men kept up with the romance and told your wife u loved her that it would not happen such as men always think everthing is ok once married a women like 2 no shes loved take her 4 dinner tell her she looks beautiful even if shes havin a bad day and keep the romance alive in the bedroom and good sex massages u no love diane 43 f uk single
2006-09-11 07:52:59 · answer #8 · answered by mufcdiane69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is hard. It sounds like you two need to really connect again. Why isn't she spending time with you? Is she happy? Are you happy? I am married and I would be very hurt if my husband was acting like that. I don't' think there should be secrets. And I think that if your doing something you cant tell your spouse about-maybe you shouldn't be doing it. I think you need to talk to her.And spend some time together.I think you are correct to assume she is up to no good You may want to really examine your relationship and see if this is what you want. It doesn't sound like she is happy either. A happily married woman does not act like that. BUT reconnect and bring back your love.good luck.
2006-09-11 06:58:44 · answer #9 · answered by loladoreen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you all ready have a gut felling about it then you should go with that saying always follow your gut. But to be absolutely sure you should maybe call one of her girlfriends or guy friend at work and ask.I could assure you that someone will drop a few hints.And if she is going to lunch with just one guy then yeah you have to ask her straight to her face.Also if she is sleeping in another place different from you then she is up to no good.
2006-09-11 07:03:48 · answer #10 · answered by TC76 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋