How to think positive about my LIFE and find hope again?

Question

for about 2 years i have been suffering from having some career disapointments and emotional as well.. i spent alot of time with no hope and still.. and this makes me un able to put my self together back on track again.. now i m many steps after my colleagues i graduated with.. and also younger colleagues too.. and most are married now.. and i m not.. and because all of that i didnt gain that much success financially.. all of these ideas furstrate me more and more .. they work as a cycle of thoughts wich each leads to the next.. i realize that this is very wrong thinking pattern.. but when i stop it.. it comes back again.. i cant stop feeling depresed from these ideas..

How to stop this thinking pattern?
How to feel hope in my future again? realizing that i m steps away backward from my colleagues?
How to love my self again?

Answer 1

ok, you may think I'm totally anal-retensive but I've beeen there...I planned my life in 5-year increments in terms of goals and dreams. Did I achieve them? No, life gave me a lot of lemons but enough to make lemonade...add some sugar (focus on some accomplishment) though to make things sweeter/bearable.

yes, many of my friends have achieved in many areas that it seems I've not but I had to come to terms w/ the fact I can't live life measuring myself by others' success (boy, I admit it did that take some mental adjustments) I started to re-defined success...create sm. objectives where its completion moves me closer to goal. Continue to do things that are productive.

hey, it's good you had goals and dreams...but success is not always immediate...everytime you believe that your actions, no matter how insignificant they may appear to be, can have an impact, you can have hope in the future.

Answer 2

I know how hopelessness feels, I went through the same thing during college. I know what you mean by a cycle, one thought leads to the next and so on. The best way to attack the problem is to replace your mental habits with rational ones. Feeling as if you are left behind your other colleagues is irrational, it doesn't make sense and is going to mire you down in negative thoughts. Concentrating on that aspect can only cause more depression and possibly resentment between you and your friends/colleagues. You need to look at yourself. Are you in the job or career you want to be in right now? Have you completed as much school as you want to right now? Whether small or large we all need a few goals to work for, when we attain them we feel good, we feel like we are making progress.
As far as financial success goes, you will never feel truly successful until you are satisfied with your work.
And for loving yourself, this is very hard, b/c we can see the version of ourselves that we want to love but we haven't attained that. Stop looking at the "future" you and look at the present. You have to find satisfaction in what you do, careeer wise, socially, etc. If you don't let yourself love yourself, you won't. I have been through this, it feels like it won't end, like you will always be unhappy. IT ISN'T TRUE!!! It can and will stop, and it will get better. You just have to be willing to make the changes and effort to get better. If you really need help you might want to talk to someone(psychologist, psychiatrist). Its a hard realization to make, that you may need help, especially with your head...no one wants to feel out of control of their mind. It took me a long time to accept it and seek the help I needed, but if I hadn't I firmly believe I would still be stuck in the same rut.

Answer 3

Write an appreciation journal. Keep it simple.

Right now, write down ten things you are thankful for.

Clean water, freedom from oppression, freedom of religion, your car, your health, friends, family, love, people who admire you, people you are about to meet, your next job, your future in heaven with a Father who would never forget you?

Friend, you can't afford to be depressed- and with all of the reasons for being happy, you can change your focus, stop comparing yourself to other individuals, and start dancing to your own beautiful drum.

God made you to do something no other person will ever be able to do, and you will not fulfill that thing, if you're beating yourself up over inherent differences.

You are not what you do, you are who you are. Keep your occupation, and your net worth separate from your value as an individual person.

God wants you to be overwhelmingly happy.

Do what you love to do, and find a way to make it pay- in that order!

Answer 4

For just one moment, forget about what any other people expect from you and think about what you want for yourself. Find a first step to take. Make sure it is a step that is possible. It doesn't have to be a big step, it only needs to be something that you can do. Repeat this process every day.
Use God as an intermediary step toward loving yourself: love God and allow God to love you. Pair this with doing what is possible on a daily basis and things will improve.
Or find something else to love. Art? Music? Family? But don't make your love for something depend on the love you get back, just love what you are able to love and be patient as you wait for the return on your investment. Meanwhile continue to do possible things every day, continually looking for bigger and better possible steps to take.
It works.

Answer 5

I don't know I have the same problem. Just know your not alone, I guess what I've been trying to do is kind of go after one goal at a time. I don't know how to get rid of the thinking pattern because I have the same one and have been trying real hard to change.
I just want to see if anybody else has suggestions.

Answer 6

I can totally relate to what you're saying. I graduated in May with a degree in marketing. I'm working as a receptionist/admin asst....far from what I'd really like to be doing. They say they are going to promote me to the mrkt department, but people say lots of things. The only thing I can tell you is that the Lord didn't bring you this far to leave you. You may not be happy with the way things are going, but he hasn't abandoned you. He has empowered/educated YOU to change YOUR life. Whatever you don't like, whatever makes you unhappy--you have the power to change it. Who else but you? Are you so defeated and down trodden that you just accept life as it comes? Or, do you say, I'm smart, capable, young, with a GREAT life to look forward to. You can't let your past mistakes, choices, set-backs,etc....define who you are. You have to keep living and moving forward in order to be the person you want to be.

Answer 7

everybody has problems, don't think about what the others
are doing you will get there it just takes time for others , but think
of what you do have because lot of people don't have what
you have and wish they did . be happy with what you have accomplished, some people are wishing they graduated, and about your love life that person is probably there you just don't see
it yet and it will come to you , hang in there , i even get depressed
but then i thank of what i have ,.and you have to love yourself to love others, your perfect because you are you, your not anyone else. i say we are all special in are own way , well in some.

Answer 8

There is one answer that can solve all of your problems.....but don't think I'm preaching. Jesus. Putting your faith in the One who is bigger than you and me, the One who created the heavens and the earth. He cares for you, loves you and wants you to want to love Him. These verses are proof of this: John 3:16, Romans 5:8, Romans 8:1, Romans 8:18, Romans 8:28-30. I hope this helps. if not, at least now you know. E-mail me if you have any questions.

Answer 9

You need to see a counselor for the depression. Support groups and empowerment classes. Also I suggest taking a cooking class just for the fun of it. Don't expect much, even you don't cook that great. It is just for fun and a time to be with fun people who enjoying creating things.

Answer 10

i'm so sorry you're battling this, yet rather I, observed I stated i've got faith that dogs do circulate to heaven so i've got faith you will see them sometime. i've got faith they have souls with the aid of fact they might teach love and different thoughts and can teach that they care approximately you. do no longer think of roughly them in a cage, think of roughly them in a house surrounded with the help of kin who loves them. i comprehend it rather is stressful to stay without somebody which you like, yet time will ease your soreness, i comprehend you do no longer think of so in spite of the fact that it rather is going to. possibly sometime you may get new doggies in a sparkling abode, i comprehend it heavily isn't an identical in spite of the fact that it might make you sense somewhat extra appropriate. you nevertheless ought to concentration on doing all your homework and doing properly at school, with the aid of fact college is quite important after all. don't sense undesirable in case you should cry in front of your people with the aid of fact i'm specific many others could which contains me! God bless that he will placed your little heart relaxed. <3