My friend (sister-in-law) are really good friends since we have daughters about the same age. About 7 months ago she got seperated with her husband(my husbands brother) he actually cheated on her with a girl he works with. Since I'm in the family I see and hear a lot of things her ex husband does, and trust me I dont think he plans to get back with his wife again. Although they are still not divorced yet. I tried explaning to her that she needs to be strong for herself and her daughter, but instead she runs to anything her ex husband ask and then of course he treats her like crap, not to mention she's to busy clubbing late at night 3-4 nights a week. In the end, she calls me complaining of how he treats her when all along she knows the situation. Hello! he's with another girl! and actually he's talking to more than 1 girl even his ex-girlfriend!!! What should I do? I think I need to stop talking to her because she doesnt get it. I guess it takes time to realize your mistakes.
2006-09-11 05:59:04 · 12 answers · asked by ♪♫♫♪ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is time to back off as hard as it may seem. There are women not ready to give up on a marriage or relationship even after a couple separates. I tend to think she has some hope in the back of her mind that they will reconcile for the sake of their daughter. Also, I tend to think she might have a hard time believing that he is cheating on her at this present time and has in the past. My best advice is just be there for her because she needs someone to be there for her during this time of trouble.
2006-09-11 07:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by dawncs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would advise you not to get too involved...it is clear you have done all you can to help her. i mean, it is her that needs to realise that he is over her. she knows he cheated on her. and that he fancies other females. the reason she is behaving this way, is that she has probably not accepted the fact that he does not love her anymore. therefore, it is only time that will heal her. her clubbing is another way of dealing with the situation. she needs to feel that she is still attractive, that men still need her. and clubs are the best places for this, even though if you think about it, the men there are usually not really looking for love. but they will make you feel good, by flirting, buying you drinks, and flattering you all out, usually to get in your panties. but right now, she'll do anything to feel wanted again. try find something else for her to do beside the clubs, or she will end up more hurt than she is right now. keep her busy with girls nights, movies etc. all the best to her
2006-09-11 06:08:33 · answer #2 · answered by abstract 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! That sounds like a rather unpleasant situation for you to be in. If her soon to be ex husband is as trashy as you said, she is stupid for continuing to go back to him. Also, why is she clubbing 3-4 nights a week with a daughter to look after? Your brother in law is a pig, and your sister in law is a flake for not doing the responsible thing for herself and her daughter. Sounds like it's time for some 'tough love' advice from you to her. If she ignores that, ignore her and get on with your life.
2006-09-11 06:06:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do not have to stop being her freind because she is not willing to accept the fact that her ex man, so to speak does not want her. Your best bet is to tell her that you do not want to talk about it because you said what you had to say about it. Then if she wants to call it qiuts so be it. A frien will tell itlike it is no matter what the situation is. Hang in there she MIGHT come around. If not her loss
2006-09-11 06:11:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you made your pitch, all you can do is be supportive when she needs it, perhaps the best thing to do is stay out of it. she wont do anything til she is ready and you cant motivate her, you are looking at it logically, she is looking at it emotionally. until she is fully fed up to act on it, nothing will get done. you can be there for the daughter too, but i caution you not to badmouth either parent and if she does, then remind her that they are going through some rough times and let it go at that.
2006-09-11 06:13:25 · answer #5 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
surely actual! (and now and back, some extremely sturdy Italian pasta and tomato sauce does not injury the two!) A reasuring presence, ... a easy whilst cases are darkish, A hand achieving out, ... Is what friendship is all approximately! (author Unknown) "Arivederche Y'all!" ... :)
2016-09-30 14:09:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop talking to her about it; it'll probbably come back to bite you in the a$$ later anyway. Talk about anything EXCEPT family issues if you intend to remain friends.
2006-09-11 06:02:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point, there isn't much you can say to your friend. She is going to do what she wants to do regardless of what you say. She is refusing to see that everything she does for him is getting her nowhere. It's best to just leave it alone and be there for her when she finally hits that brick wall that you have been pointing out to her.
2006-09-11 06:05:24 · answer #8 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i suggest just leave her alone and withdraw....let her help herself shes a grown up lady with a child and a responsibility on her shoulders,she has to get serious and work out her issues instead running to you for things she already knows....
2006-09-11 06:09:25 · answer #9 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try asking her how would she feel if it was her daughter or you in that situation?
2006-09-11 06:04:42 · answer #10 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋