Hey there,
I lossed my mother on May 11, 1999. The only advice I can give you to pace yourself. It took me a year to get back on my feet again, so to speak. The first year was miserable. I was very lucky I wasn't fired by my employers because I did absolutely nothing at the office. I felt as if a part of me had died when my mother died.
I have trouble expressing my feelings, but, I remember they day (or morning) where I finally recovered. I had a very vivid dream of my mother and we were in a cozy cafe, where, in the dream, I felt comfortable, relieved, what not. I was talking to my mother and while I was crying in my dream, I asked her why she could stay with me. I can't recall exactly what her response was, but I made me feel at peace when I awoke.
My advice to you is to note the following and just be as strong as you can, because I promise you, in the end, you'll feel like a "whole person" instead of half a person:
1. The stress will be unbearable. Try to get lots of rest, and if you can, increase your exercise to keep the oxygen flowing throughout your body.
2. People will often tell you that you have to "let go." What they really mean is that you must accept that she is not completely dead as long as her spirit lives in your memory.
If you pause for a moment, you'll notice that your loved one speaks to you all the time from the repetitive conversations you two had over the life of your relationship.
3. Write lists of things to do, if you will have to look after your loved one's financial.
4. Don't hessitate to lean on friends. Without my friends and close relatives, it would have nearly been impossible.
5. Try to reward yourself by doing something good for yourself everyday. Spoil yourself in order to make you forget about the myriad things you will have to do as a result of this sad and unfortunate change in your life.
6. You'll notice that you will be more sensitive to things that weren't such a big deal. I recall crying during movies when a person's mother was dying in the movie. That's actually a good way to relieve stress is to realize via cinema that others have been thru the same sadness and stress that comes with it.
2006-09-11 06:04:15
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answer #1
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answered by Tones 6
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I really don't believe that you can ever "deal with" the loss of a loved one. I'm not even sure what people mean when they use those words. About all you can do is to accept it as reality.
My brother died in 1976 due to injuries received in a car wreck. Even today, I can get teary-eyed about it under some circumstances. All I can say is that it will hurt a little less as time passes. And, it will always hurt some.
I have decided that hurting some is a good thing. The only way not to hurt at all is to forget. I wouldn't want to forget my brother.
2006-09-11 05:55:39
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answer #2
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answered by Otis F 7
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It's so hard to deal. I've lost several people over the years, but when my cousin died...It was the worst thing ever. It has taken over 11years to get at a point where I can talk about it. But I guess I just talk to him. I think about how he would feel if he were here. I think about how his mom and sister can go on. That means I should be able to also. Everyone deals in their own ways. Just find something that brings you peace. Go with it. No way is the wrong way. Good Luck.
2006-09-11 05:58:33
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answer #3
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answered by ct7296 3
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Time heals all wounds. Best to talk about this person with someone else who also knew and loved them too. Talk about all the good things/times and hopefully this will help you smile, even if only for a short while. Try to remember that each new day brings the promise of a better day.
2006-09-11 06:02:44
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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Never stay alone, be with someone. Involve in some activity all the time, spiritual activities seems to do wonders(meditation etc.)Never think about the past or future, watch ur mind constantly where it is now-past/future?
In a weeks time things will seem better.
2006-09-11 05:54:56
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answer #5
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answered by ssss 3
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If that form of "magical" love exists, (like interior the flicks), i might wager in basic terms one in one billion couples locate it. human beings fall in love at first while each and all the hormones, the tetosterone, the estrogen are leaping around like electrons in a nucleous. there have been study that teach that human beings who strengthen amnesia do no longer teach any signs and warning signs of affection in direction of their considerable different. No "The laptop" ending right here (sorry). i think of you get related to precise human beings yet is likewise as much as you to allow that ensue. additionally, there are specific personalities that are extra nicely matched with yours than others and hence you get related quicker. Now you ask a great form of questions and it is not trouble-free to maintain on with, in spite of the undeniable fact that one i can respond to is the final one, i think of i became into in love while i could no longer end thinking relating to the lady i became into with on the time. i might awaken and picture approximately her first element, sleep and dream approximately her, hear to a music and a fashion or the different relate it to her, to us, all i wanted is to be along with her yet you comprehend what? i've got not felt like that for the time of years.
2016-12-12 06:34:35
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answer #6
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answered by woolf 4
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the only way is opening your heart to God and without even saying anything He knows your needs--you do though have to put your trust in Him and know that because of Jesus this world is only temporary and we will see our loved ones again through faith in Him. I am extremely sorry for your loss and will be praying for you. "And God will wipe every tear from their eyes...He makes all things new." Revelation 21:4,5
2006-09-11 05:58:01
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answer #7
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answered by keepingthefaith 5
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I lost my brother 12 years ago and it took lots of love to get me where I am now. I had to do a lot of praying and my husband really was strong for me. It still hurt like he*l but you learn to live with it, you never get over it.
2006-09-11 06:13:20
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answer #8
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answered by bfm 3
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What I know it doesn't work is to never talk about him/her. I lost a brother, and the family kept silent about it for a long time. This was not good.
I think you should talk about him/her often with your family and friends.
2006-09-11 10:05:32
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answer #9
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answered by Roberto 7
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just let your friends and family spoilt you...continue living and do new things.explore yourself through a new hobby and live out loud....whatever u do life is ahead....dont stop walking
2006-09-11 05:56:14
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answer #10
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answered by depi l 1
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