Is it normal for a guy to get distant. My bf says i make everything out to be his fault when we get into it. Like today we fought because i brought up his not coming to bed till almost 4 this morning. But i get tired of going to be alone and getting up alone. Am i wrong to feel like that. And i mean im a day over due so far and so emotions are running wild. Why cant he see that. Why cant he understand that i need him more now then i did at the beginning of this pregnancy. Some one please explain this to me before i go crazy!
2006-09-11 05:36:19 · 33 answers · asked by mojosbaby41472 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
OK just to clear something up. He wanted this baby (so he said) before it was conceived. If he didnt really want it he could have said so. I never forced him to make the baby. I didnt even ask him for the baby. I am happy to have the baby coming and wanted one but i never asked him for it. We both wanted her so its not like he didnt have a choice. And to the ones who think im to clingy then you have apparently never been pregnant.
2006-09-11 05:45:42 · update #1
The thing about coming to bed at a reasonable hour is pretty much universal. He needs to do better on that score. But if you're a day overdue, you should cut him some slack. I'm sure both of you are working on very little sleep, and emotions are running high. Y'all just get together, talk about how you both need to chill out, and relax as best you can. Things will change when the baby comes.
2006-09-11 05:41:05 · answer #1 · answered by breauxbridge 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
theres the old saying u get what u pay for. now the question is was he pretty much doing the same thing before u got pregnant as far as staying out late etc. well if he is following suit dont expect him to change. plus sence u 2 are not maried yet there is also the question of comitment. if he doesnt like dealing with things now, wait for the kid to start crying at all hours of the day and night, wanting to be fed or changed or to be held. and have u decided to breast feed or bottle yet i recoment breasts..after all thats what they are for. but any who is he going to be squimish if u pull a boob out in public to feed the baby. blanket or no? what is he doing till 4 am in the morning and what days of the week? should have already began but now is the time for carefull planning of jobs and money to save up and less playing. now all that aside.. women when they get prego become emotionaly and chemically unstable which causes mood swings and such. which can drive some one away. that doesnt stop after u have the baby either, the mood swings continue for a while. so the question really is. is this question of yours just a reason to gripe because ur not always getting ur way or is he skipping out on a regular basis? prego isnt an easy thing for either party envolved and some times we do need breaks from each other. having a baby isnt like going to the pound and getting a puppy. its a major decision a lot of people take for granted. and it will be scarey for both you and your boyfriend.
2006-09-11 05:58:09 · answer #2 · answered by formula72 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are feeling is normal but try to look at it from his side. You are a day over due which means you are not sleeping well, you are probably up at least every hour if not every 30 minutes to go to the potty and you are shifting every which way trying to gret comfortable when you are in bed. He is probably sleeping on the sofa or recliner just to be able to gt some undisturbed rest and when he does he gets up and comes to bed. If you had said he is up watching tv or up and not even sleeping I would think you have a valid compaint but at this point it has to be about what you can do to make him comfortable and rested so he will be able to assist you on the most important day of your life. In just a few days everything is going to turn around and it isn't going to be about him anymore but about you and the baby. Dont' push and don't fuss you will get more emotional over the next six months then even during your pregnancy. Remember what is important you love him, he loves you and you about to have a beautiful baby.
2006-09-11 05:44:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anjanette A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bf started getting distant when I was about 5 months pregnant...at 6 months he told me he didn't love me like he should and we split. I begged him to make it work but...nothing. So as far as the distance thing, I'm not saying he wants to leave you.....but I think it has alot to do with stress and anxiety over having a baby soon. But I know how you feel...you're miserable and it seems he could care less. I wish I had some good advice but my man split so I can't give ya too much. I do know that communication can make or break a relationship so talk, talk, talk and try not to let it turn into an argument everytime.
2006-09-11 05:42:46 · answer #4 · answered by mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the going to bed at 4 a new thing or is it bothering you now and you can't figure out your feelings? You probably feel real vunerable right now; I always did when I was pregnant. It's true; some guys freak out when they sense you need them. How about a shift in your thinking...realize that you are part of a miracle, that you and God are creating a new life. That's an incredibly powerful thing you are part of. Hey, maybe he's even a little jealous of that as well. So try to think along the lines of you being the strong, blessed one; try feeling that you are the true Godess that you are. Take care.
2006-09-11 05:54:10 · answer #5 · answered by Skye7112 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, Thank you so much for asking this question!!! I am going through the extact same situation right as we speak. I think that they are afraid. And that is also what my mom keeps telling me. They are afraid of .... change, what other people think, getting close, responsiblity, growing up, not hanging out with friends, etc. I unfortunately, wanted to terminate my pergnancy and part of me is glad that I didn't and the other wishes I did. But I sat up all night fri and sat crying over this stupid guy that I love. If you ever need to talk please feel free to email me adidasgurlz21@yahoo.com I hope this helps some! Good luck!! Congrats!!!
2006-09-11 06:26:35 · answer #6 · answered by adidasgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not abnormal ,you both are feeling the strain of the pregnancy in different ways ,
did i understand you correctly / your baby is overdue ?
well, if the time is near, it could just be ,he is scared and feels unable to help you. he is staying out of the way as he may feel he might hurt you just now .
It is a huge responsibility you both have , and that may be worrying him .
.
Your hormones are working overtime, to produce this little one . and that is i believe why you are grouchy and upset .
We all get contrary and a bit unreasonable , when we are pregnant .
all will be well when the baby arrives .
He will be as proud as proud ,of you and his new baby !!!
Just keep remembering how important your boyfriend is
,in your life , and try to make allowances for his lapses .
2006-09-11 05:56:02 · answer #7 · answered by sweet-cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys have different ways of showing their emotions!1 thats the cold hard truth!!!! you have a right to wonder what he is doing but maybe try to approach it another way next time you confront him!!!! maybe tell him that he should get some sleep because when the baby comes he will miss being able to sleep at all!!! or maybe tell him that since he is soo good at staying up all night he wont mind caring for the baby when they are constantly waking up in the middle of the night!!! he may be able to approach it with a different attitude if you make it about the baby!! congradulations on your new addition!
2006-09-11 05:49:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll be trying to get his head around the fact there's going to be anew baby in the house very soon!You have had 9 months feeling his/her every move and i think men don't actually think its real until a few days before the birth. my partners been to every appointment/scan with me, I'm due tomorrow and he's just said to me its only just hit him!!!Jesus. It just goes to show that men are at least 9 months behind us where thinking is concerned. Don't worry baby will be here soon and he'll be a doting dad, good luck.
2006-09-11 05:47:02 · answer #9 · answered by emma b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him what you said in the question. You've said some good things about how you feel; I think that if you tell him the way that his behavior makes you feel (rather than knocking him personally), it will be better-received. Let him know that you need him, and let him know that it hurts when you have to feel alone at night. Let him know that you are a little scared, and that you need him. I think communication is the best answer to this problem.
2006-09-11 05:44:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋