i am in love with a guy i want to marry him.my name is priyadarshini and his aliasgar will we both will marry?

Question

we both love each other and want to get married but the problem is that he is muslim and i am an hindu so his parents are not agreeing for it we just want that his parents should give permission so that we can get married his birth date is 22/10/1982 and mine is 26/07/1982. we cant live without each other but we dont know what to do because we want to convince our parents and then get married. please show us some way

Answer 1

Dear Priyadarshani,

1. Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: finding the right person and being the right person" quote. Do we really know the actual definition of a successful marriage? If not than lets look for it and see what conclusion we can draw. We often say that someone somewhere is made for you and the day you come across that person you feel that that he or she is the one you have been waiting for. But later we see that due to lack of understanding and mental compatibility they move apart. So how can we say that they were the perfect match since they didn't gave any effort to understand each other. So it's important you know your partner. There are people who get physically attracted and fall for each other and eventually end up getting married.

2. "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." Which is so true. When we talk about mental compatibility between husband and wife we have seen that not only incase of arrange marriage this problem exist where both of them were unknown to each other before marriage but even after many years of courtship in love marriages this problem exist because when we meet before marriage we are at our best to impress the other person. And we start accepting each other the way we like to see each other. But gradually after marriage when we slip into our natural self that time we have to accept each other as we are. And in most of the cases the real self is not what we wanted to see and then begins the contradiction with the person whom we have loved and with whom I have to spend my life.

3. Marriages between different religions, different economic classes, totally different values, diagonally opposite status of women are successful only as exceptions; very often, because of the surrender of a woman to the new family. Otherwise, the difference in values, perceptions, eating habits, family background and even ambition can cause her to be victimised till she is but a shell of her original self. Thousands of divorces today take place because neither the husband nor his family are willing to support a woman.

4. Personally, I would say that no girl should marry into a family, which does not respect and welcome her and her family (that is change your religion and other such demands). She should not marry a man who sees women as obedient slaves or worse, brainless idiots who must be ‘kept under control’. Defying all those who love you to marry a person of your choice needs strength because the fight to overcome opposition beats the hell out of young people who are not prepared to lose their families entirely in the Indian milieu. In today’s stressful life, it is difficult enough to make a go of a marriage even in ideal circumstances. When a couple starts with handicaps, the going is that much more difficult. So look before you leap !!!!!

Answer 2

You are still young, keep dating, and be with each other. You could elope if you wanted to probably, but that would make your parents and his parents upset probably. Maybe if you spent time with his parents, they will get to know you and will want you to be married to their son. Isn't religion supposed to teach you to love and respect all of man-kind? I am not religious, but you would think that everyone is equal, no religion is any better than any other religion. Everyone has the right to believe what they want. It shouldn't be used to prevent 2 people who love each other from getting married.

Answer 3

I think you better think about this. I hope you both are not in the madly in love stage cause that can fade away. I am indian and My opinion is that if you can live without both your families and survive...do it. otherwise, after you get married and you have bad blood with you families it would haunt you forever specially when you have kids and the kids won't know your family. it's tough on you both too. If you can handle it go for it. or why can't one of you become muslim, cause that's accepted right?

Answer 4

By the date of birth you have given if I am not wrong you are both 24 yrs old. You havnt said any thing about your jobs or the type of work you both do. There fore it is difficult to guess if you both can suvive the Tsunami that is going to come once you make the thing public.
If you take my personal view then I am deffinately not for inter religious marriages.dont get disheartened but thats the way life is and the truth hits you when its too late. You see it all sounds very rosy and sweet when you are in love , to say that religion wont come in our way but then it starts to creep up on the very first day itself ,like how are you going to get married? the hindu rituals or moslem rituals. If not both then civil marriage. But then you have this guilt feeling through out your life that you are living in sin because you didnt solemnise your wedding. There are some who go through both just to please each others parents when deep down inside you just dont understand the thing.Thats when you start to compromise and life becomes a bed of sacrifices for others.
Then come the children what will you name them , each one tries to pull down the other or else you compromise on a name that sounds like both the religions. Then when the kids start to grow the grand parents try to pull the children to their side so the tug of war starts and the poor kids are so confused they just cant figure out wth is the right thing in life.
I am sorry if I am being too negative but I cant help but tell you the hard facts of life. I am not an anti moslim or anti hindu but for me a marriage is not just a union of two bodies or souls but a way for our future generations to come. your off spring is not just your today but your generations to come till the end off life.do you want to leave behind a legacy which has no beliefs.
There are alot of people who do not believe in god. But to me religion is not just a philosophy but a way of life. Fear of god saves you from a lot of wrong things early in life. You cannot ignore this fact at all. It is at a very later stage you start to analyse the rights and wrongs. But to a child it is shear wrath of god that saves him from doing the wrong things.
The only solution that one can have in this situation is the total conversion of one person. total I mean is not just for the sake of marriage but with the heart and soul. You can decide who amongst you can convert by studying each others religion and understanding the real truth behind it. Give each other time so that you dont regret later.

Answer 5

According to Islamic fundamentals whom should marry a girl should be Muslim r Cristian(should be convert be4 marry) if u really love him then u should change Ur religion its best for future also, otherwise in future u both ND Ur kids may be face too much problem, hope u realised what am wanna say, best of luck!

Answer 6

even though hindus and muslims live in india for more than 800 years both their religions,way of living,habits,social life are different.since it will be difficult for one to follow the others way of life after marriage the majority feels that the marriage will not work out.As in your case be sure that you can live their way then you may convince his parents.after all they will be looking at your good qualities also to decide.

Answer 7

hey priya,
I understand your problem but you are dealing with religion especially muslim well i suppose you know the problem the controversy won't be within your family so i think you understand what i'm saying all i can say is show to you parents how you both can look after each other also how you respect each others religion too but don't give up definitely your parents may end with your understanding but please please don't give up all the best

Answer 8

you're letting your heart rule, when your head does a better job of it. i think he is not the one for you . you are just being stubborn, and want your way no matter that it may cost him his family. you will find love, but not with him. an older man born in 1968 will come along, and you will realize that you never really loved this man. don't continue to be foolish. be an adult. wait for the one who will make you happy.

Answer 9

Hi priya..Im a muslim too.I think his parents might hv the concern abt ur religion. R u willing to convert to his religion? bcos..if ur not gonna convert.. this marriage wil not be accepted in islam. may be, try to decide on this n convince his parents regarding tis aspect. Otherwise, if tis is not a concern, try ur best to talk to his parents n give them the impression n trust in u tt ud make a good daughter in law.. its all in ur hands to mk them agree gal..im sure his parents want him to be happy till the end. If u can give them the assurance that u wld definately be happy with each other..then i dont see any solid reason for them to reject u.:) all the best gal...do keep me informed abt this.. always willing to assist u..mail me up [e-mail]

Answer 10

Dear Priyadarshini,

If u are what your name suggests, dont worry about marrying now. Wait for the right persion to come along.