That if you have been with someone for so long they get to be very comfortable. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and anymore he spends more time with his online poker and this one friend (thats a male) then with me. He knows that I don't want anyone eles. and I know he's not cheating on me.. I trust him with all my heart. I just think he is sorta takin advantage of me because he knows i'm not goin anywhere so he can do what he feels like.. any sugestions? I know he loves me to death. but how can I get him to spend a little more time with me..
2006-09-11 05:24:30 · 24 answers · asked by Jen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It is true Jen, but it doesn't mean you can't do something about it.
Firstly, try talking to him - i know it is a bit of a cliche, but it's the only way he'll ever know how you feels. How will you talk to him if he's always out or online? What about cooking/going out for a meal/bowling/drink (ANYTHING) and using the quality time to have a chat.
Secondly, try and get the spark back - be spontaneus and really show him what he's missing by not spending more time with you.
Finally, you could always try playing him at his own game and seeing what he thinks. It's not an option that i've ever managed successfully myself, but it may work for you. Good Luck babe.x
2006-09-11 05:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by kenfitameen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's true the longer you're with someone, the more inclined you are to take advantage of that person. It's not something that people do deliberately. It just seems to happen. That's why at this point in the relationship it's important that your communication is good, and that both people are prepare to do a little work to keep the relationship loving and growing. It's time that you speak to him about this. Make sure you are not blaming him. Just let him know how you feel and come up with some suggestions regarding the things you would like to do together to add something new to the relationship. If he loves you and you love him, it will be worth the effort.
2006-09-11 12:30:58 · answer #2 · answered by P. C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting comfortable in a relationship is very common and a very easy thing to do...however getting comfortable shouldn't be the end of romance and excitement....those things keep a relationship from going stale, like a bag of chips. You could ask him, or set up a date night for just the two of you....have him pick you up even, so it feels like a real date...I would sit down with him and tell him how you feel, don't say "you don't spend enough time with me" this will make him defensive....say something like "I feel that we have not had much time together lately, what do you think? let him answer fully and don't interrupt. After he is done, ask him bluntly "I would appreciate it very much if you could set aside some time for me each day/week/month and I will do the same for you." As long as your not speaking to him in an accusatory tone, you should be able to talk like adults and solve the problem.
2006-09-11 12:30:55 · answer #3 · answered by violet1656 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any man on earth needs a private time for his own . and I think the woman needs that , as well , from time to time .
But I want to ask you something :
You say you know he loves you !
Are you sure that's how things going , or it's just how do wish life is ?
I want you to be sure of that firs !
And remember : it's not the end of the world !
2006-09-11 12:32:58 · answer #4 · answered by citizen high 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably isn't doing it on purpose. It take a little bit of thought to keep things fresh. not just from you, him also. try to set a date night in the middle of the week. try to do things where you can spend time talking and enjoying each other. GO for a walk, cook dinner together, go for a drive. try new hobbies together. maybe ask him to teach you how to play poker.
My g/f and i kind of got into the same rut. She talked to me about it. we have alot of things we do together now. It is really good for us. good luck.
2006-09-11 16:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say to him..."I would like you to spend more time with me". But also you need to get your OWN life. Spend time with your friends or doing something that YOU like to do. Your boyfriend should complement your life not BE your life.
2006-09-11 12:27:40 · answer #6 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ohh girl,you just need to dress up real nice and start going out with the girlfriends.he will start wanting to spend time with you after about a month of this.good luck have fun.trust me it does work.married 15 years.
2006-09-11 12:27:23 · answer #7 · answered by oceanwvs2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, its true that people tend to get "comfortable". Try going out with your own friends instead of waiting around for him. Maybe that will wake him up.
2006-09-11 12:26:54 · answer #8 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. If you've been together 2 years, he's still around for a reason and defdinatly doesn't want to hurt you.
2006-09-11 12:27:28 · answer #9 · answered by nessa d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you know that he's cheating on you, don't give him the satisfaction of getting angry about it. It'll make his day and he will continue doing this! Get councilling or just dump him. You deserve better. You'll find someone else!
2006-09-11 12:28:34 · answer #10 · answered by Christina M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋