I was engaged to a woman who had been in a lesbian relationship for three years, prior to me. She told me that it was a temprary thing, that she didn't even consider herself bi-sexual, let alone lesbian anymore. Is it possible for women to experiment with lesbianism for that long and not let it be central to their lifestyle?
2006-09-11 05:07:40 · 17 answers · asked by Rion K 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I was engaged to a woman who had been in a lesbian relationship for three years, prior to me. She told me that it was a temprary thing, that she didn't even consider herself bi-sexual, let alone lesbian anymore. Is it possible for women to experiment with lesbianism for that long and not let it be central to their lifestyle? WE were engaged for 7 months and i found out that her best friend (a very butch lesbian) was in fact her ex gf. Knowing that the deciet was the relationship killer and NOT the bisexuality, I ended the engagement and have been "conflicted" ever since. I don't know if I can be with someone that has "swings both ways"....(i hope that clarifies the question a bit)
2006-09-11 10:15:59 · update #1
I don't know. It has been my experience (as a lesbian) that you juts can't turn stuff like your sexuality on and off like a light switch. You can pull the covers over it, but it doesn't really change. Then again, I am finding out more and more that sexuality is a very fluid thing.
I notice you said you "were" engaged to the lady in question. Who is she with now? A man or a woman, or is she seeing anyone? That might answer your question, at least a little. The other thing to consider is that sexuality can only be judged on a person to person basis. Maybe she really wasn't a lesbian, but for whatever reason, she felt comfortable being with a woman........although 3 years doesn't seem temporary at all to me!
2006-09-11 10:09:27 · answer #1 · answered by Autumn BrighTree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, people often qualify themselves as one and refuse to admit the facts... Ok, I agree everybody has the right of self-determinbation, but when it comes to realtionships let's face tha facts! This girl either admits she is bisexual (personally, i do not believe bisexuality exists at all, but that's another question), or must have some reason for acting like lesbian at some moment in her life... (was she drunk, was she mentally unstable, or what, not that you have to be one of these and be lesbian, but did not she realized what she was doing?)
You cannot have a personality turned on and off... unless you suffer schizophrenia ...
So is she lesbian or an imposter? In any case it is still her, it is some part of her life...
2006-09-11 13:17:41 · answer #2 · answered by Randy Beaman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do so many people define their lifes with their sexuality? If she is with you and having sex with you and only wants to be with you right now, what does it matter if she had sex with a woman in the past. I think sex can be great regardless if you are attracted to that person, whether it be the same sex or not. I hate the titles of straight, gay, bi or whatever! Sex is sex, no matter who you are doing it with.
2006-09-11 13:58:16 · answer #3 · answered by Ang 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I think there are some women who are able to almost chameleon-like. I know of a few ex girlfriends who werent sure if they were lesbian or not. Some girls even become lesbian during their studies at Uni. as to avoid getting pregnant etc... its quite strange
2006-09-11 12:33:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's possible, for *some* people. We all have the right to define ourselves, I think, and if this is how she defines herself, take her at her word. I personally don't understand it, and would call that bi, but a bi history doesn't necessarily mean a bi identity. It's not mine to attach a name to, or yours, either.
2006-09-11 12:11:11 · answer #5 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get it straight once a lesbian always a lesbian.
2006-09-11 12:13:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't turn it off and on like a light switch. She might have been experimenting sexually, just to see what she likes.
2006-09-11 14:50:20 · answer #7 · answered by ~Twisted Sister~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being gay/lesbian cannot be "turned on or off at will".... it's not a choice....it's how you are born. you are either straight, gay/lesbian or bi. I would say that woman is bi, or lesbian and is in denial.
2006-09-11 12:58:06 · answer #8 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years is a long time to just be a temporary thing....she has got to be bisexual.
2006-09-11 14:04:37 · answer #9 · answered by Scully 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your either a gay man or woman
or your not,your not both at the same time.
you can be bi but not both at the same time.
2006-09-11 15:37:40 · answer #10 · answered by DENISE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋