Is it possible that this could be giving me a very negative image of sex? It's affecting my relationship with my boyfriend I think, because sex feels "dirty" or disgusting to me lately...
2006-09-11 05:07:15 · 7 answers · asked by alwaysright 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
What your boss is doing actually fits under the legal definition of "sexual harrassment." Not only are his conversations with you are inappropriate for the workplace, they are creating an atmosphere of distrust and discouragement.
So, technically, as others have mentioned, your boss could get into BIG trouble if you have documented evidence of the multiple occassions on which he has interacted with you in this way. To prove your case, you'd need specific evidence, but he is definitely in violation of the spirit and intention of the law.
You're not really asking about the "legal issues," though, from what I can see.
In terms of psychology, yes, your boss's comments can affect your perception of yourself as well as associate your sexual relationship with your loved one with feelings of vulgarity. The more your boss ties sex with carnality and sensuality in your head, the less it remains an expression of love.
So what he is doing can be harmful to you... especially because YOU can see it happening to you.
It might be difficult for you to confront your boss, especially if you enjoy your actual job, your peers, or don't know where you might find other employment right now. Still, damage is being done to you.
At some point, you will need to confront your boss -- tell him what he's saying is affecting you negatively, that it affects your relationship to him, makes it hard for you to do your job effectively, and that you simply don't enjoy it, and he needs to stop or you will have to pursue ways to make him stop.
Note: If you haven't been sure what to do and thus just laughing along with him or smiling in order to avoid a conflict, well, that's understandable -- it's a typical reaction, hoping that the boss will just stop on his own -- but it looks like it has only allowed him to create this pattern of sexual harrassment. As hard as it might feel for you to confront him, you need to kindly ask him to stop and stick to work-related matters.
If you want to collect and document evidence first before confronting him, that might feel the "better way" to go for you.
In any case, even if you can successfully prosecute him if he refuses to stop, you probably will not want to work there anymore.
You really have to weigh this out, though. Your boss's comments are definitely bad for you, personally. Is it worth keeping this job, if it's having such a bad impact on the relationships that mean so much to you?
2006-09-11 05:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's possible. It's not only possible. It happens all the time to women. You feel guilty for something that he's doing wrong to you and you shouldn't. You need to File a Sexual Harassment suit on him. Go talk to your Doctor and tell him the stress that you have been under going due to this perverted Boss. Have it Documented.Then get it on Camera and then you'll have the evidence right there with you, then get him! God Bless You!
2006-09-11 12:15:28 · answer #2 · answered by SecretUser 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
definately document everything, make a journal,
if necessary go to se a counselor,
please don't confuse your personal life with the j erk at the office, you know your boyfriend cares about you, and what you share is not anything like what you are hearing at the office.
Don't let a sexist pig, get to you, and have power over you..
you have to take charge of lyour feelings and emotions, and do not hide behind that incident/s
if you carry this garbage on to your relationship you will be hurting your boyfried and yourself, and it is unfair to you both
don't let the person at the ofice live "rent free" IN YOUR HEAD.
GOOD LUCK
2006-09-11 12:22:47 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a form of sexual harrassment. You can sue your boss if you want to. It's not a joke anymore because you're uncomfortable already. If you're hesitant to sue your boss, tell him directly that you're not comfortable about his jokes related to sex. If he doesn't stop, sue him.
2006-09-11 13:51:01 · answer #4 · answered by Mike N. D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would write down every time he says something nasty and then report him to the lobar board and tell them how he is doing you.
this shouldn't be done at all to anyone.
2006-09-11 14:42:12 · answer #5 · answered by DENISE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.
Document the date and time that he makes his comments.
If possible, get signed statements from witnesses.
Then, file suit against him for sexual harrassment.
You can win if you have the evidence!
2006-09-11 12:13:57 · answer #6 · answered by Goethe 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Change boyfriend.
2006-09-11 12:35:47 · answer #7 · answered by Ale 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋