Visitation?

Question

When we got divorced, we agreed that my ex husband would pick my kids up on a Tuesday evening for a few hours and also on a Friday evening and drop them back Sat. eve. Now he has moved to a new town to be with his new girlfriend, (still in CT) and says it's inconvenient for him to pick the kids up on Tuesday so he is not doing it any more. (He still works in the same town that we live in). This causes huge stress for me as I have to work late on a Tuesday. I told him I would take him back to court and he said this wouldn't do any good as it's obviously inconvenient for him to pick them up.(He lives about 30 miles away). I feel it is not fair to me to expect my friends to pick up the slack when I have to work late. By the way, my ex is one of 10 children who all live in my town so it's not like he couldn't go somewhere with the kids on a tuesday. Do you think if I took him back to court that I could get the judge to enforce this or not?

Answer 1

Unfortunately, the courts can't force him to take more parenting time with the children. It will cost lost wages and time with nothing being accomplished about the lost parenting time. However, you can go back for a child support modification if childcare is not written into the divorce decree. I think the cut back probably happened due to the new girlfriend. I have a friend who's ex husband spends consistently less time with their son when he has a girlfriend than when he does not have a girlfriend. I recommend if the grandparents are local and are avaiable that they can spend time with their grandchildren because they will love the extra time with their grandparents!

Answer 2

It was strange to hear this the way that you put it but you and your ex are pretty sad people.

He is sad for not making the time, effort for kids that do deserve it.

You for going straight for a judge "to make him" do it. You may work late but this is a small problem in life. Hire a babysitter for them, see if a neighbor could watch them for a while or a number of other choices.
Things like this will happen and you need to learn to be more flexable and roll with the flow or your kids are going to pick up on even more stress.

You didn't even mention what your kids thought of not seeing their father as much.

Answer 3

Sorry, the court would not be able to force this, and why would you want to? It will only make him resentful of the kids, and you would not want to ruin that relationship. The only thing you can do is not accomodate him when he wants to change visitation on holidays and such. The one thing the court can do is enforce the child support order. Maybe you need to go to court and get a raise in this since he is able to support a girlfriend, and it will help you to pay someone to pick up your kids. Don't let him fool you by saying "I'm not seeing the kids, so I don't have to pay". The court does not care if he sees the kids or not, he still has to pay.

Answer 4

If it's in the decree, then he has to do it. At least until a judge changes it legally. This DOES NOT mean that he will, only that he's supposed to.
Before you chance stranding your kids check into child care for them or ask a friend to pick them up and babysit a few hours for you until you can settle this issue.

Answer 5

NOOOO, you can not force him to pick up the kids. That is the choice that he makes. It is set in the divorce papers when he CAN pick up the kids. By law he does not have to. (Which is very selfish on his part because it is ONLY hurting the kids) Your divorced now he probably doesn't care to much about your feelings. But he should care about the children's feeling.

Answer 6

NO, YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM TAKE THEM IF HE DON'T WANT TO, AND NEITHER CAN A JUDGE. THEY CAN REPRIMAND HIM FOR BEING A LOUSY DAD.
MAKE OTHER ARRANGEMENTS AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE, SOUNDS MORE LIKE A CONTROL ISSUE ON YOUR EXES PART.

Answer 7

No